Organ donation

It was Anthony, but like he got called Tony.

Do you know what I mean? So, well he was with me mom, and me and my sister.

And then I had Alfie, who we loved his grandson.

And then I was pregnant at the time with Bella.

He knew it was coming up was dead excited for, and that was like part of the, part of the shock.

Do you know what I mean? I was like, we were all like excited for this like baby to come.

And then, and he was made up and he idolized Alfie and then, then Alfie idolized him and he’s just gone like that.

It’s mad. It’s mad.

Well, life’s not fair, and do you know what I mean?

There’s like worse things in the world, do you know what I mean?

And I know people my age with cancer, you know what I mean?

And all that sort of stuff. So you know, you can justify him getting to 63 and go and like quite quickly compared to like how when happens to other people.

So I try, I don’t dwell on it like the way I used to do you know what I mean?

But yeah. And he worked um,

he was like HGV drive and he worked for like the same place for like 47 years.

Like he loved his job like doing house removals.

He was just like his dead active man.

He didn’t like always done you a favor.

Like no one was ever too much to ask.

Like yeah, he was a good person. I think one, two now.

Do you know what I mean? And him, yeah.

You know, like Alfie remembers him and all that.

Don’t think Bella's got a clue because she’s only two.

But, yeah, they both find like Bella got us all through, do you know what I mean?

Because it was so exciting to look for over to and all that.

But, and me sister, since I had a baby girl and called Niah like the family’s grandma.

Do you know what I mean? I know me mom said like, have old days that I had had to be on Christmas.

It couldn’t have been any other time of year or could it have been a week later or something.

Do you know what I mean? But it is what it is.

My name’s Lara, and I live with my son’s, got two boys and yeah, we’re, you know, we’re adjusting to life with without Gareth.

And it’s, it’s difficult, but, you know, I’m proud of my boys and they’re doing well and you know, I’m trying my best just to, you know, being on my, on my own’s difficult, but, you know, I’m getting there.

Lucky that my mum and dad are nearby, my parents are nearby. So I’ve got good, good support network around me, and I’ve got a two cats, so yeah, life’s, life’s as good as it can be without Gareth at the moment.

Yeah, we’re doing all right.

Lucy: I am Lucy and I am Annie’s sister. We lost Annie two and a bit years ago.

Paul: Three years. Three years ago.

Lucy: Three years ago. And organ donation was something that we discussed around the time that we lost her.

Paul: Yeah. I’m Paul. I’m Annie's dad. And, well there’s not more to, not a lot more to say about that actually.  And I’m Lucy’s dad and Tom’s dad as well, we think to avoid confusion.

Alison: I’m Alison. And I’m Annie’s mum. Lucy’s mum.Tom’s mum, Paul’s wife.

Tom: And I’m Tom. I’m, Lucy’s brother, Annie’s brother, Paul’s son and, Ali’s son as well.

Paul: It’s great that, that all hang together. Annie is, still, was Lucy’s twin sister. Both born on the Queen’s birthday in 1987.

Alison: Seven weeks premature,

Paul: Seven weeks premature. And obviously Tom, Tom was Annie’s is Annie’s brother. Three years younger.

Tom: Yeah. They stopped because he got perfection.

Paul: Yeah. So, Annie and Lucy, we, we didn’t, we never regarded them as a unit because we are always very conscious that twins are treated as a single unit. And we, we did everything we could to make sure they were guarded as separate people, which is what they were. Even to the extent of very rarely dressing them the same. Although we’ve got dozens of pictures of where they appear to be dressed the same. I dunno how that happened. So, so yeah, it, you know, she was a lovely individual and,

Tom: I think, I think she made sure that she wasn’t anything like Lucy as well. So they made sure they were both completely separate from each other.

Alison: They were, they were completely, were children.

Paul:Completely different. Yeah, absolutely.

Alison: Chalk and cheese. Completely chalk and cheese. And yet academically they were on a level, but we put them through school, nursery, infant school, junior school, everything. They went, they were in separate classes for everything to the point that when they did their GCSE, some of the teachers didn’t even know they were related, let alone that they were twins. So we did a good job on that score. Yeah. But they had, they had completely separate friends, but still very similar.

Lucy: Yeah, I think as well,

Alison: Annie had a much more, I dunno, I don’t know what the word is,

Tom: artistic view on life And the sense of humour that Lucy, sometimes

Lucy: I have a sense of humour. It was just very, that’s different.

Tom: It’s just not funny.

Lucy: She was, she, her humour was very unique. Yeah, she was, uh, I think we, we became more similar as we got older. Had more in common, had like separate friendship groups, but,

Tom: you’re all friends.

Lucy: Friends in friends in common as well. We would spend, obviously as you get older, you do just find your way together more, I think as you become adults as opposed to kind of grotty, hormone filled teenagers that, you know, fall out. And she was incredibly messy, incredibly disorganised. Like not even in an endearing way, like in a, like you want to throttle it kind of way. So I think as growing up, that was quite frustrating until we got separate rooms, then it wasn’t so much of a problem. But yeah, definitely as we got older, yeah. Yeah, we had to extend the house so we didn’t kill each other. But yeah, as we got older we definitely had that kind of a friendship as well as, just being sisters, I suppose.

Okay, so my name is Carol. I had a daughter called Susan. Susan had been ill for about seven years, and then suddenly died, as sudden as that, nothing related to her illness, so it was a complete shock.

Having said that, her illness meant she was never gonna get better, and she was very depressed about that. And we had discussed suicide. So I think the fact that she died, made it easier to accept because in a way it was a bit of a blessing.

But previous to that, I’d signed the donor register, and it’s a long while ago. I can’t really remember why. I thought it was a good idea, but it wasn’t anything I’d debated about. I’d always donated blood, and so it just seemed like the next thing to do.

So I discussed it with Susan and she said, oh, well, you know, I’ll do it. Okay. So we had both signed.

So at the point where she had died, she was still plugged into all the machines and the nurses and it was the last thought on my mind at that moment. But the nurses said, you know, are you aware that Susan has signed the donor register? Oh yeah, of course. Yes. I’ve forgotten. But yes, she had. And are you happy for that to go ahead? Yeah, absolutely.

So I don’t have a big family. I have my son. At that time he would’ve been about 47 and our sister and her family, I’d informed them that Susan was going to die at that point, she was being kept alive, but, you know, she wasn’t gonna last.

I didn’t feel the need to discuss with them our decision, because Susan and I talked about it over the years, that it was a good thing.

You know, things pop up on TV and then plays and programs and documentaries and it’s something we talked about. We, she and I watching the emergency programs and all the documentaries about hospitals and so on. So it was something that was sort of fresh in our minds.

So, yeah, I just went ahead with it.