Burn Injuries

I switched primary schools, so actually the first primary school I was at wasn’t very good with dealing with name calling or intrusive questions or things like that, they didn’t deal with it well and my parents were like ‘That’s not ok, let’s move.’ So, I spent the last two years of primary school at a different primary school. …but yeah [sighs], it’s tricky because actually, a lot of people, their interest is that initial 5/10 minutes and then that’s it. So, I think maybe, you know, starting a new class, going … I think even though I’m quite confident and I’m so used to my scarring, even now if I’m having a bad day, going somewhere new can feel a bit stressful because I’m like ‘Oh, I’m just going to have to deal with people looking at me.’ But actually, that’s normally just what it is, it’s normally just a, you know, look at me for a couple of minutes and then they just get over it and move on. It’s really not that exciting, you know, so actually a lot of the time it’s just that initial sort of look. And then in secondary school and in primary school, you’re with the same sort of people every day so, actually, I can imagine that year 7 at the beginning might have been very stressful but, actually, everyone knew me, you know, progressing through school, so actually very rarely did anyone from my memory, say anything.

I think I remember one boy - we were in a science class - and he was like messing around with the Bunsen burner and one of his friends was like ‘Oh careful, otherwise you’ll end up like her.’ And I was like ‘Well, the joke’s on you because I wasn’t even burnt by fire so … that’s not what you’d look like.’ Like I just … I just remember being like ‘What?’ And I think afterwards I was probably bit hurt, but I was just a bit like … I think I was quite good at just coming back with like ‘Well, that’s not the case so …’ You know, and I think my friends were more defensive than me. So, if somebody looked at me for too long, they’d be like ‘What you looking at?’ and I’d be like ‘Oh my gosh please stop, it’s so embarrassing’ because actually I was so used to it and, on a good day, I can just block it all out, I can just walk to the shop and I’m like ‘Oh whatever.’ On a bad day I do notice all the people looking at me or doing a double take or whatever, but I just try and not focus on it and get … you know, put my music on, get on with life.

Yeah, so my burn was rather different, because as the only visible burn that was on my body was on my right side of my face, that was near my right earlobe going into my right cheek and my right neck, so it wasn’t as… I would say maybe visibly obvious to, a lot of people. So, I wasn’t ever … it wasn’t ever a massive talking topic or issue when it came to schools, especially like secondary school, and primary school as well.

So… and also, my burn, after a certain age and time didn’t often … didn’t restrict a lot of my movements. So, I was able to do a lot of things like physical education, writing. So, it wasn’t a massive hindrance for me in school. …Possibly due to when it happened, so it had time to kind of change and evolve and adjust to my body. …And, as I said again, it wasn’t much of a kind of – from my knowledge – a talking topic or an issue, going to school, secondary… primary and secondary.

I had quite a big gap out of school, through recovery. So, when I first had my burn injury, I was in about year reception going into year one. I think I returned half-way through year one the next year, so quite a big chunk. I had the option to be put back a year, but I didn’t take it, I didn’t want to, I guess, be made to be any more different than I already was. With secondary school I remember doing quite a lot of my work in hospital when I was recovering, I found it ok. It was quite difficult to actually concentrate and make any productive progress, but I still tried. And that was similar when I went back for my A-Levels, I was actually revising for a-levels in hospital.

So, I guess in terms of the education, it has kind of somewhat stalled my ability to focus and put time into what I needed to do. But I’ve still progressed at the rate I should’ve done in terms of I still sat for all the exams I needed to do.

Yeah. So, I missed a lot of education when I was younger, yeah, see I don’t remember much of school, but I always remember when I went in everyone was excited. When I say everyone, the ones that I actually spoke to and the teachers. And so, yeah I don’t, school, throwback to when I was really young, like, reception, primary school, because I was always in hospital, I feel like I wasn’t there much. And when I was there, I knew I was behind because I’d always have, like, someone with me, like a support teacher and I remember I missed so much school one year they kept me behind a year, and I got to meet a whole another group of friends.

So, I was held back a year and then I was then put back into the year that I was meant to be in, so that it would still work out for the rest of the school year. I guess I just had extra work when I was kept back a year.

I used to try and write with this hand, but he’d always pick on it and some other people, so I’d just write with my left hand and then my teacher, and that’s, I think that’s also why they kept me back because my writing wasn’t improving. Then one day the teacher came along and was like “Right, Raiche try something else.” So, she took the pen out of this hand and put it in this hand, and she went “Write out that sentence” and I wrote it and it was like as neat as anything and she went “See, you’ve just got to try some new things sometimes and just see how it works.” And then, after that, she would never let me write with the pen in this hand. She went “Raiche” and then she’d take the pen out and she’d put it in this hand and then, yeah, so, after that I was never kept back, my handwriting really improved. And I guess it always takes that one person, or the one teacher or support assistant to just really, like, push you in the right direction and just, like, be on your case, and just like “Raiche” to make things a little bit better.

In school, I one of the benefits for me not being bullied or really having many questions by my peers was I told everyone. I’m quite an open person and I done, well, after my first camp I kind of stood in the school and did an assembly on burns camp and told them all, you know, that, I think people obviously knew that I was burnt before but I was more telling them of this positive experience that I’d had and the achievements I’d got because, you know, this was back in the day where people would stand up if they’d got a swimming certificate or something. So, I kind of stood up and told everyone about my week at camp and it kind of stuck with me from then because I live in quite a close town and I’ve grown up with the same peers throughout my education so, even from little school, moving into secondary school, a lot of them would have known and I just don’t think anyone’s ever had a negative outlook on it. So, that really helped, especially kind of, you know, I would go back to camps, moving forward in other years as well. I would say the only challenge I really had in school would have been changing for PE. This is a little school, in front of other people, and that was because I was probably before even going to camps and that was really what set in my mind “I am different”. I didn’t look like everyone else, and everyone didn’t know at that point, so a lot of staring and comments behind the back on, I think people don’t want to actually ask to your face so they’re not staring to be horrible, they’re just staring because they’re curious. But it can come across very judgmental at times. So, I think that was the biggest challenge was when we were in that age where I couldn’t really escape the sense of, I had to get changed in front of other people and they would look because they didn’t really understand. Obviously, they were young as well so, children have no filter and can be quite honest.

I think the big challenge from scarring at school was definitely schooling. I missed a certain amount for surgeries and that kind of thing. So, luckily my school were really amazing about it and helped me catch up with my work and that kind of thing, but that was challenging and, you know, you miss school for a few months when you’re younger and you, sorry, not a few months but even a month when you’re younger and you’re already very withdrawn out of the social group, so it was definitely more challenging in that way. Senior school was definitely a big change. I think a lot of people found senior school difficult in its own ways.

As I said, I’ve always had a good support network of friends to I’ve never felt alone. I’ve never really been outwardly bullied but I have had people say rude stuff behind my back, which was never pleasant to hear about. And I think, as I said, I’ve had a very positive school experience overall in terms of, like, the friends I made but I’ve not been immune to people saying horrible things about me and, yeah, and I know some people who’ve had very difficult experiences at school with scarring. So, I think it very much depends on luck and, you know, I was very lucky to go to private school as well, and I want to put that out there because I’m aware that not everyone is privileged enough to go somewhere where they can do everything they can to make sure you’re ok. I can imagine, maybe at a state school – because I know friends who’ve gone to state schools and have had scarring and it’s been a very different experience – so, I don’t want to put a false narrative out there. But yeah, the most difficult thing at school was definitely some of the nasty comments and then, also, missing schooling and catching up was a bit of a challenge as well.

And then people always asked me questions, so I was like “Oh God! What do I say? What do I do?” Yeah, and then people would always bully me and be like “Oh, why do you have to wear a hat? We can’t wear a hat … da, da, da, da, da”. “Why are you always late? We can’t wear a jumper. Why does she get all this special treatment?” And so, I was always kind of like centre of attention just for doing just normal things, but I always got that special attention that everybody else wanted, so it was just a bit awkward. And I guess, obviously, there’s the bullying that wasn’t, that didn’t make it easy either and then the temperature thing where I was always cold and by that time I was always falling over in the playground, nurses room, so yeah, so I felt like I missed part of schooling from having surgeries but I also missed out because of the bullying that held me back a bit and then I was always like, hurting myself by accident, tripping over or what not, so I missed out on some playtime.

And teenage girls, because so many surgeons are male and like, a lot of my scarring’s across my chest and, actually, I mean, I’m so used to taking my top off in the hospital now, but actually for a teenage girl, if you’ve got a male surgeon and three med students who are all like, you know, men in their 20’s or 30’s, all stood there, it’s intimidating and uncomfortable and I don’t think there’s enough, certainly, when I was a teenager, there wasn’t enough prep for that and reassurance and checking-in and “Actually this is what to expect from your appointment”.

It's kind of that age, and I felt the stress from my mum as well of like when you're going to have that. And then there was this boyfriend, of course, so I met, I actually met him on the beach. But I did go through a phase of trying to keep it pretty covered up, so I would never wear anything sleeveless to show like this bit. And I think even this point, I was wearing leggings on the beach. I think I might have like rolled up the leggings going to sea. And he saw like the tiniest bit on my leg, like there's hardly anything at the bottom of my leg, and said “Oh, what's that?” We weren't together at this point. And so, I think that was a bit of a like “Oh God”, you know. But then, yeah, I don't know how I then revealed the scars to him. I don't remember like a big reveal kind of point, but we were together for four years. And so, it was fine. It's just those initial getting to know people, telling them you've got scars. And I think actually I might have gone out with a boy before that, again about 17, and my mum's saying, “Well are you going to tell him about the scars?” So, she obviously felt funny about it, but that really annoyed me. I just like, “Just shut up”, like, you know, I’ll do what I want. So, I think it was winter, so he might not have seen.

Like teenage years when you're going through puberty, and, you know, understanding how that individual might be feeling the pressures because life's even, it's more different now than when I was growing up.

I think, you know, being that age of 17/18, you know, you like boys and girls and stuff like that and it’s a bit like, you want to start, you know you want, it’s hard to explain. Like, I’ve never really had any sort of relationship yet ever, so it was quite scary now that I could have that opportunity. It almost felt like I couldn’t really do that properly but, I actually met my boyfriend now of nearly two years at college and, you know, he’s great with my burns, he's really, really nice with it so it’s fine but definitely going into college was the moment where I started feeling more self-conscious about it yeah, for sure.

I know that when I was a bit younger, so around teenage, sort of about 16/17, it’s always in the back of your head like “Oh, will I meet someone that is actually tolerant?” sort of thing.

Yeah, just the sort of teenage hormones, like “Oh my gosh, what if I don’t find anyone?” and “Oh my God, I have scars, what if they don’t like them?” But I can’t do anything about them, and I don’t want to do anything about them so. Like, that sort of thing “Oh my gosh, am I going to grow old on my own?” Like, going to be a crazy cat lady!

And how long do you think it took you to get to that kind of mindset?

Oh God, it took me ages. Well, I’d say it started college time? Yeah, I’d say it started around college because my friends were great characters and they were always like, they’d say what’s on their mind, they’d just throw it out there and I guess I kind of took that from them and adapted it to my life and so, like, we used to do what teenagers do, we’d go to parties, we’d go clubbing, we’d go down the pub, we’d dress up on a Friday night and I guess that seeing them do it and wearing their best clothes, getting glammed up, and seeing them look amazing, I was like “Well, why can’t I do that?” But like, “What’s wrong with me?” They were like “Are you coming out?” I’m like “Yeah, course I am. Where are we going?”.