Raiche

Age at interview: 28

Brief Outline:

Raiche was 18 months old when she was in a house fire and sustained burns to 70% of her body.

Background:

Raiche works as a welfare officer and lives with her husband and their dog. Her ethnicity is Black British Caribbean.

More about me...

When Raiche was 18 months old she was in a house fire and sustained burns to 70% of her body. In the accident, she lost a few fingers, a few toes, an ear, and required several skin grafts. As she was so young when the accident happened, Raiche doesn’t remember much from that time and has relied on what other people have told her.

During her childhood Raiche missed out on school a lot because she needed to take time off whilst she had skin grafts and other surgeries. As a child, Raiche remembers being in a wheelchair a lot and her legs always being in bandages. She also remembers frequently falling over and bumping into things when she was younger, she said this is because of bad balance through the loss of her ear and several toes. Raiche said falling over would create new injuries and add new scars to her collection.

Raiche started attending a burns support club for children when she was around 5 years old. Attending the club helped Raiche to realise that there were other people that looked like her. She instantly “clicked” with the other children regardless of their background, because they all shared having a burn injury in common. Going to the burns support club helped to grow Raiche’s confidence. As a child, Raiche said she “had a fear of everything”, such as swimming, heights, spiders, wearing shorts, and climbing. The club helped her to face her fears “head-on” and eventually she overcame them. Once she was too old to attend the camps as a young person, she trained to be a volunteer to help children who had experienced similar situations to her.

Raiche started using social media as a way to stay in touch with friends and to share photos of her life. However, she then decided she wanted to use her platform to educate others about prejudices and misconceptions in society. After a while she began to gain followers and continued to post snapshots of her “living unapologetically”. Raiche believes that her “unique selling point” is that she is a black female living with burn injuries, and because of this she has to work “three times harder” than the average person to be “seen”.

Raiche’s advice to others who have been in a similar situation to her is “if there’s something you want to do, go out and do it”. She says that living with a burn injury is a “journey” which has taught her resilience and in time she has found “her freedom”.

Raiche was 18 months old when she was burnt in a house fire.

So, I was in a house fire when I was 18 months old and from that I received 70% burns to my face and body. I lost a few fingers, a few toes and I lost an ear and I’ve had, like, multiple skin grafts. I actually lost all my hair, so this is a really good disguise. [laughs] And, yeah, from that, I had round-the-clock care in hospital, numerous surgeries, I can’t tell you how many, there’s been that much. Yeah, so I’ve had to go back quite often for reconstructive surgeries, skin grafts. You name it, I’ve probably had it. Fat transfusions to help stop the skin deteriorating, yeah, that’s that. You know what? I feel like I can never answer that question fully because I was so young. I was 18 months, compared to there’s other people who remember everything fully and their family have been so open about it, so they know every little detail, yeah. I only really know my story from what other people tell me.

Raiche told us about her experience having flap surgery and a fat transplant to help manage her burns.

I always have to wear extra socks in my shoes and especially in the summer, it just gets really hot and irritable, or when my feet are really cold, they go numb so I can’t actually feel them, or they just get really sore and they often rubbed on my, like, boots and the skin would always deteriorate. So, what my surgeons suggested as a temporary fix instead of like a surgery and a skin graft on my foot, and more time out, he was like “Oh why don’t you just have a fat transplant, so it’s basically lipo”. And I was like “Sold!” and he said he’ll take the fat from my tummy area and inject it into my foot, and it should last a few months, might get about a year out of it. I was like “Yeah, let’s give it a go, see how it goes, what’s the worst that can happen? I’ve had a lot worse surgeries.” So, I went in for that and then also my face pulled quite a lot because I didn’t have face surgery since I was little, and so before lockdown I had, sounds really awful, it’s called flap surgery. I was like “Very creative!” So, they literally like, where the skin on my neck was tight, it was pulling down on my eye so I couldn’t actually shut my eyes and sleep and I was always dribbling. I still dribble and I still sleep with my eyes open because of the skin graft on my face, but not as bad now, I can blink and my eyes actually shut, and I don’t dribble my food when I eat it. So, I had that surgery and that took a while to heal.

Raiche said that having burns means it takes longer to get ready in the morning.

Having burns definitely impacts my daily life because I can’t just get up out of bed and go, especially when it’s really cold! So, how does it impact my daily life? So, in the mornings I have to shower, and I have to cream otherwise my skin gets really sore and that’ll take about anywhere from half hour to 45 minutes and then I’ll have to get my partner to cream my back because I actually can’t reach it because of the burns and scars, and my movement is quite restricted. Then after that session I’ll probably come down, have a cup of tea, log on and do some work from home.

Raiche found that her balance was affected because she is missing one ear and the toes on one foot. She also found it difficult finding suitable shoes.

I always used to fall over and bang my legs and stuff when they were healing because I had the worst balance in the world. It doesn’t help where I’ve got, like, no toes on one foot, so that doesn’t help with balance. And then, I’ve only got one ear and apparently that completely throws you off and all! So, I was forever falling over, creating new injuries and new scars to add to my collection.

Also with shoes, because I don’t have toes on one foot, for example one foot is a size 8 and the other’s a size five so that’s a nightmare in itself. I’ve always got to wear two pairs of socks on my little foot.

Raiche told us that her approach to people staring or asking questions is to think positively and assume they are appreciating her make-up, outfit, or hairstyle.

So, I’ve always got to be prepared for at least one person to say something because a lot of people go through that motto that it’s rude to stare, but it’s not always the case, because I do find myself staring at other people, whether they’re good-looking or they’ve got a difference, or I love their outfit. And when people stared at me, I never really thought it was always negative I just thought “Jeez! My outfit must be wicked today!” or “They really like my lipstick” or yeah, my makeup. I never initially thought all the time that they were staring at my burns, especially when I wore my best outfits or felt really good with the way I looked, or I’d done something different with my eyeliner. I always thought it was that.

Once in a relationship, Raiche said there was a “process that I had to learn to do” in terms of being more emotional and affectionate.

Relationship-wise, because I never really saw anybody that looked like me have a relationship or have the happy ending, I wrote it off for myself quite early on. And so, when people did show interest in me I kind of didn’t really see it being a relationship or anything further because they could always do better. Like, why would they settle for me if they can go get the… that really hot chick over there. It just didn’t make sense and I just couldn’t understand it.

I guess, as well, it’s coping mechanisms. You learn to be less emotional and only, like really open up with yourself by yourself on your own and not really cry or be affectionate with other people. Like, yeah… So that was a tricky one… but once I started opening up and accepting that I can be loved, and I can have the fairy tale too and I can create my own… I can have a future, just like everybody else, that’s when I was like ‘Ok, right.’

Raiche said she has become “attached” to her scars and doesn’t even notice some of them anymore.

But the funny thing is about scars is when you have them for such a long time you kind of get used to the way they look and how they are in your body and then, when it changes, you’re like “Oh, ok, that’s different!”. And then, it’s really weird because it’s only scar compared to like, the rest of the scars combined on your body and it’s such a small thing but I was like “Oh, it’s a big scar, oh my God!” I was like “I miss the last one, it was just a straight line!”. But yeah, I guess it’s like a weird psychological thing where you just get attached to your scar. Yeah, I don’t even notice this one anymore.

Raiche said it was a journey to accepting how she looks, but now she has learnt to love herself.

It’s not something that happens overnight, like accepting how you feel and the way you look, and especially when you’ve got media and celebrities looking a type of way and everyone thinking that’s the norm and that’s how you should look and anything different isn’t right and it’s just weird or you’re ugly or evil according to these horror movies where you only see burned people. Yeah, it’s definitely a journey. I think now, in the space that I am, I think I look fricking amazing!

I go out with no make-up on whatsoever and I literally do not care what people say, but I’m just in love with the way my skin looks, like the different colours, the different tones, the textures, the shapes. I’ve got the rarest diamonds in the world on my shoulder and other bits of skin graft that creates different textures and like, just skin in general, it is just so amazing what it can do and how it looks like and how it changes like different weathers. In the sun you go a bit more gold, and you go a little bit pale in the winter but depending on preference you might love a bit of sun or more.

I don’t know, I’ve just learnt, I guess, where I’ve learnt to be loved and fall in love, I’ve kind of learnt to love myself and I guess I’ve always appreciated the way I look because I always took care of my teeth and my skin and my eyelashes, but it’s literally just taking a step back and just really appreciating yourself by looking at a photo, like whether you’re in your favourite outfit or if there’s certain colours or if your make-up looks amazing or if you’ve got no make-up, just appreciating like the features that you have. Yeah, maybe I don’t look like the supermodels on the runway but one day someone that looks like me will be rocking their stuff on that runway, if it’s me, or of its someone else.

Raiche was held back a year at school to help her catch up.

Yeah. So, I missed a lot of education when I was younger, yeah, see I don’t remember much of school, but I always remember when I went in everyone was excited. When I say everyone, the ones that I actually spoke to and the teachers. And so, yeah I don’t, school, throwback to when I was really young, like, reception, primary school, because I was always in hospital, I feel like I wasn’t there much. And when I was there, I knew I was behind because I’d always have, like, someone with me, like a support teacher and I remember I missed so much school one year they kept me behind a year, and I got to meet a whole another group of friends.

So, I was held back a year and then I was then put back into the year that I was meant to be in, so that it would still work out for the rest of the school year. I guess I just had extra work when I was kept back a year.

Raiche had a supportive primary school teacher who helped her with her handwriting which she struggled with due to the burn on her hand.

I used to try and write with this hand, but he’d always pick on it and some other people, so I’d just write with my left hand and then my teacher, and that’s, I think that’s also why they kept me back because my writing wasn’t improving. Then one day the teacher came along and was like “Right, Raiche try something else.” So, she took the pen out of this hand and put it in this hand, and she went “Write out that sentence” and I wrote it and it was like as neat as anything and she went “See, you’ve just got to try some new things sometimes and just see how it works.” And then, after that, she would never let me write with the pen in this hand. She went “Raiche” and then she’d take the pen out and she’d put it in this hand and then, yeah, so, after that I was never kept back, my handwriting really improved. And I guess it always takes that one person, or the one teacher or support assistant to just really, like, push you in the right direction and just, like, be on your case, and just like “Raiche” to make things a little bit better.

Raiche felt like bullying at school “held her back”.

And then people always asked me questions, so I was like “Oh God! What do I say? What do I do?” Yeah, and then people would always bully me and be like “Oh, why do you have to wear a hat? We can’t wear a hat … da, da, da, da, da”. “Why are you always late? We can’t wear a jumper. Why does she get all this special treatment?” And so, I was always kind of like centre of attention just for doing just normal things, but I always got that special attention that everybody else wanted, so it was just a bit awkward. And I guess, obviously, there’s the bullying that wasn’t, that didn’t make it easy either and then the temperature thing where I was always cold and by that time I was always falling over in the playground, nurses room, so yeah, so I felt like I missed part of schooling from having surgeries but I also missed out because of the bullying that held me back a bit and then I was always like, hurting myself by accident, tripping over or what not, so I missed out on some playtime.

Raiche’s friends helped her to adopt a more positive mindset and enjoy being a teenager more.

And how long do you think it took you to get to that kind of mindset?

Oh God, it took me ages. Well, I’d say it started college time? Yeah, I’d say it started around college because my friends were great characters and they were always like, they’d say what’s on their mind, they’d just throw it out there and I guess I kind of took that from them and adapted it to my life and so, like, we used to do what teenagers do, we’d go to parties, we’d go clubbing, we’d go down the pub, we’d dress up on a Friday night and I guess that seeing them do it and wearing their best clothes, getting glammed up, and seeing them look amazing, I was like “Well, why can’t I do that?” But like, “What’s wrong with me?” They were like “Are you coming out?” I’m like “Yeah, course I am. Where are we going?”.

Raiche said that everyone at the burns camps, regardless of other differences, “clicked” because they had their scars in common.

So, I kind of just grew up with the club and the kids at the club, and so I was kind of aware that there were other people that looked like me, and I wasn’t the only one for that one week a year when I got to go to club. And it’s such an enjoyable, exciting experience, and like, I think you kind of just immediately click. Like, with the kids that go to club, we’re all from different backgrounds, different ethnicities, different parts of the country but, because we’ve got that one thing in common, our scars, we just kind of like, I don’t know what it is, we just clicked.

But I guess going to club year after year, that really helped me to build my confidence and I found, I realised like, looking back, I had a fear of absolutely everything, even though I wanted to do like, I wanted to be a kid and be carefree, I was just still fearful of literally everything. And so, going to club, that really helped me to face those head-on. Like spiders, heights, people, shorts, wearing a swimsuit, climbing, getting wet, swimming, you name it. I had anything and everything you think of, I was scared of it. And I guess meeting the kids and just really bonding and seeing them overcome their fear and us doing it together, it really kind of like molds you as a person. And, yeah, it’s great.

As a Black woman with burns, Raiche is passionate about diverse representation of different people in the media and uses her social media platform to further this.

So, I started gaining followers and, to be honest, I was a bit confused. I was like ‘Why are they following me? I’m really not that interesting but, ok!’ And I guess it was just like understanding what people wanted to see on my page and I guess people just really enjoyed just that I was living unapologetically and just doing what I wanted to do and that’s what people enjoyed most. So, from that, I was like ‘Right, let’s start invading some more spaces [laughs]. Where would I want to see myself if I was a younger me that I don’t see myself in now?’ And I guess you’ve got your one public influencer, who’s doing quite great and is getting an MBE this year, but then I was like ‘Oh we do need … we don’t really have a representation in these spaces who’s from the UK, I guess, who is black, who is a female and who has burns.’ And I guess that’s like a triple whammy, isn’t it? I’m fighting against all three of those! Well, I guess I should say, I guess that’s my like … USP. But I guess in some ways, if you look at it, it’s a bit of a hindrance. So, it just means that I’ve just got to work three times as hard as your average person to do what I want to do, get seen and invade some spaces. So I … yeah, I’ve … what I’ve told myself is um … to get into those spaces I’ve literally just got to open up a bit and stop being scared. I feel like there’s points where I’m really into it and I feel myself going back in time into, like, my old self where I used to literally have a fear of everything. And, you know what? I still do but what’s the worst that can happen? We’ve been in lockdown for two years, our life has been on hold, and we’ve had zero freedom, so I’ve told myself ‘If you want to do it, just get up and do it.’