Mental health: ethnic minority experiences
Losses & gains: impact of mental health problems on everyday lives
Having a mental health problem can impact on different aspects of life and many of these are interconnected: being unable to work may mean living on a low income and missing out on friendships and social activities. Here, people talk about how their mental health problems affected their lives.
Education
Many people described how having a mental health problem had affected their education. Some found being at school or university difficult, sometimes because they found it difficult to make friends (see below) or because they found it difficult to study and concentrate (see Tariq's story). As a result, several people described truanting (skipping school), having to leave school or give up their studies and having no qualifications (see Dolly's below). One man had to give up an adult education course.
Sara was "thrown out" of school after taking an overdose. (Played by an actor).
Sara was "thrown out" of school after taking an overdose. (Played by an actor).
We went to see my GP and my Mum told me what to say to him, and she was there making sure that I said what she had told me to say, and so I just sort of said that I had classroom problems at school, which is true, I mean I did, I wasn't popular at school. I didn't have friends. I was appalling at games, which makes people very unpopular and yes, so I didn't have any friends and I wasn't, I wasn't popular with the teachers either, but I just said that I had school problems and it was just, it was an ongoing battle for like about four years, between the school and home. You know, they would look for any evidence they could that I was, because what happened, somebody wrote to them and said I was depressed and that I needed to see a psychiatrist. And they picked up on that, and I think because they were a private school they didn't want any kind of problems there. So they just kept saying to my parents, you know, 'If she doesn't see a psychiatrist she can't continue her education here. And they would look for any evidence they could, like you know, I wrote a poem, and like they would bring a poem, a poem, in on subjects, and they would bring it up, like two terms later and say, 'Oh, she wrote this poem so she must be depressed.' And it was things, that you know, it as just like they were looking for evidence that they could find, just to hassle me, and of course it made everything worse at school. It made everything worse at home, because they were going back to tell my parents. And my Mother was getting angry and saying, 'Why are you behaving like this, and letting them think there is something wrong?'
And yes, the whole thing kind of culminated in me taking a massive paracetamol overdose in my mid teens. And I subsequently got thrown out of school, because they said, 'That meant that I was going to be a problem to teachers and pupils and they didn't want me there.' [sniff] And that was when, I suppose, I did, finally get all the input from people who I hadn't wanted to see. I was made a ward of court. I was forced to see a psychiatrist, a social worker, a court welfare officer, a psychotherapist, and I never, you know, I never told them what was going on, because my Mum had this lie sort of ready fabricated and she told me if I didn't tell them why I had taken an overdose, they would, they would put me away.
One woman also described being unable to face going to university age 18: “when it came down to it, I just couldn't go”. Despite this initial loss of potential, several people did well in their exams and went on to go to university and get degrees or do other courses in the community.
Work
Having a mental health problem also affected people's ability to work; some had never worked, whilst others had lost or had to change jobs.
Having a mental health problem led him to lose one job; in another job, he found it difficult to...
Having a mental health problem led him to lose one job; in another job, he found it difficult to...
Saying that two factories I worked in I had nervous breakdown they always had to cart me out of the factory [smiles]. They call my, one, the first one come called my mum and dad, they got, carted me off to hospital. The second one called my wife, carted me off to hospital [laughs] so although the first one was my apprenticeship, you know my apprenticeship? And that's the time I said to you, I said to you, I said, they said “You must go and be rehabilitated but you won't be coming back here.” And I said it wasn't like that I couldn't do the job, I went elsewhere and got a job. Second one I did tell them about mental illness and I was slow at my work because basically I couldn't function because of sleepiness and tiredness and so on so I got the Speedy didn't I [laughs] which speaks for itself. So I got the nickname Speedy and coped with that and I had a breakdown at the factory.
But otherwise were they, were they sort of quite accommodating about…
Yeah they were, yeah they're always understanding to a degree. They, there were no malice, I felt no malice there, I felt comfortable working there, but it's just that I was so precision in my work that it does take me long to do the work properly because I really like just to get it done right. And if it's done wrong I will let them know. If it's, I work to thousandth of an inch so when they, you work to 2000th of an inch sometimes and sometime it's just under the 2000th of an inch and this, I say, “Oh my God it's under the tolerance.” But the foundry man, the factory foreman he said, “No that will be alright, let it go. Although it got a tolerance you can give it a little bit more either way.” So luckily my job is highly scrapped by I always work to a precision size. I do know you can't actual, actual dead size, there's no way you can get a dead size but I work as closely to a dead size as possible. So they're aware of that, so they call me speedy because, but the thing is they're give me the job, they know, want the accuracy so I don't, but they call me Speedy and so on. I get the job which demands a lot of skill and concentration which I tend to lack a lot of after a while so I go round the back to have a sleep often, come back and do the job. And they're not really aware why, what I'm doing as such but they just say, “[Lorenz] had gone out the back again.” But it was only till I'd had a quick nap and feel fresh again.
I drink coffee all the time, you know, I have, oh saying that about coffee and things there was an occasion where the drug wasn't working very well, I was so sleepy, splashed water on my face, at work, next time different, I thought that would wake me up but water, coffee, absolutely no. And that was the time I was mentioned about almost going into the machinery that was pretty bad. I lost the job about three months after that, they just said you wasn't up to standard but I couldn't really cope with that sleepiness I was getting. Drug was changed, tolerated a little bit better, still got the sleepiness and so on, it's continuously it is sleepiness but with all the jobs I must say the psychosis side of the hearing voices, seeing things, that's all disappeared so that's the good thing about them all. But the concentration sort of heavy head and trying to think through a cloud like remain through almost all the drugs until this present one. And it's the trying to do a job of work under a cloud of heavy head and thinking through a cloud, that's the way I can portray it. It's very, very difficult.
People also described finding it hard applying for jobs and going for interviews. Some people felt they were too unwell to be able to work, although many said they would like to, including one woman who felt that other people did not expect her to be able to.
Many people were able to work, some in paid work and others in voluntary positions, and had periods of not working or sick leave when they were unwell. Voluntary and part-time work seemed to be helpful for building confidence and helping people adjust to the workplace, although some were unable to do either. Some of those who were working said that aspects of their job could sometimes be difficult, particularly speaking in public, increases in workload and relationships with colleagues or simply because the work environment can be stressful. Some people felt that they had been unable to fulfil their potential at work.
A few people mentioned having to balance the demands of work, home or social life and having a mental health problem. Feeling tired as a result of anxiety or medication was a particular issue for some. A few people had made special arrangements at work to accommodate their needs or found the flexibility of their workplace helped. (Under the Equality Act, employers are required to make “reasonable adjustments” to enable people with disabilities to work - see our practical matters document on our resources page for links to further information).
After she became unwell in her new job, she made special arrangements with her manager. She also...
After she became unwell in her new job, she made special arrangements with her manager. She also...
I'd actually thought that I'm past it. I'd, I thought, 'Right, I've sorted that one. I've conquered that. It's sorted.' I take my little pills every day just like everybody else. If you had cancer or diabetes or whatever, you'd pop a pill. I pop my pill and I'm good. And then all this things started happening and I realised that my health was not so secure and in the bag, and I could become unwell if I allowed external factors to really get into my head. Because once they got into my head, all my voices just went bonkers. They had a field day. 'See, it's not only me saying it. Look, everybody else is saying it,' sort of thing. So that was interesting. Becoming quite ill and having a lot of time off work was interesting in terms of how people viewed me. On returning to work, unlike most illnesses that you might get, part of my recovery was to do what I normally do. So I normally go to work, so, 'Go to work.' As opposed to you're still not 100 per cent, so you stay home. But in order for me to recover I had to start doing what I normally do. Which involved coming to work, which involved coming to work in quite a doped-up state and not being as coherent as I normally am, and having people just ignore you, like you wasn't even there. That people could actually come to your desk and pick up a piece of paper and actually do it as if you wasn't there, was quite amazing to me.
That my place of work lacked a certain level of understanding. I mean we overcame it, but it was there. This desire for me not to be around because people didn't know how to take me. So it would be better if I stayed at home until I was better. So once again, 'let's just tuck the mad person away because they're making me uncomfortable' type scenario. And I must admit, it didn't help me to speedily recover, having to, to deal with that.
But I spoke to my manager about it in length, and we had to work it out. Because I thought to myself, at that point strangely enough it gave me the fight to recover, because it was an injustice. And one of my voices that are extremely strong cannot stand injustice. And she will kick my butt out of bed to try and effect change because she can't stand it. And something forced me back into work and, and challenging negative behaviour and stigma and forcing people to fear, face up to their fears and admit their fears, so that it can be talked about. And we got over it. It didn't happen overnight, but we did get over it. But it, it really did show me that, in 2006 as it was at the time, that these things are still going on. And you'd think that with all these equal opportunity this and DDA and everything else, that people wouldn't dare behave in such a way. But they do, they do. And it, it was like, 'My God. Wow. I can't believe it. And number two, it's actually happening to me.' It wasn't happening to somebody else, some
Despite the problems they mentioned, many people described conquering the difficulties they experienced at work. Some were involved in mental health campaigning or other user involvement activities, including acting as trustees, doing research, and speaking at events: "I sit on the board representing the service user. So I help people who are suffering, who can't speak up for themselves”. One man went on to set up an arts project and another woman wrote a book about her life [see Dolly above].
Devon describes how he came to form the organisation Sound Minds.
Devon describes how he came to form the organisation Sound Minds.
And I said to them, 'Oh, there is a space round the local Methodist Church. Let me know ask the minister because I know him. Because I meet him when I preach, I'm a preacher there. And yes, and he said they could use a space that they have got in the basement, of the basement studio which was a proper music studio, which actually had people working there professionals, it was a professional studio. But they had a bit of a problem with the church, they weren't paying and rent and stuff like that so the church got rid of them.
And at the same time I asked him so I said to the two persons from the hospital, 'There is space here.' So that is how we, I got involved with a few people at Sound Minds. It wasn't called Sound Minds then. It was just the music group. And then they asked me, they said, 'Devon would you like to get funded and run this, because you are a music man, you used to do music with the bands from Balham, for people in the community' So I said, 'No, I can't do that, I'm all, I'm sick, I'm all drugged out, I can't cope with that. But if you get someone else to do it with me I don't mind.'
So they applied for funding, they got funding, and then they employed someone from the community. We had advertising in the local, in the press and the national Guardian and they found someone and interviewed and I started to work at Sound Minds Black person and that is how Sound Minds started, plus I was working at the local hospital where I was admitted, they took me on as an OT technician to work with the same person who I spoke to in the community who started with the music with me. So he felt, he helped me to, to work at [the psychiatric hospital], to work at the hospital, so that I get some sort of background of working within mental health. And he, and my position there was an OT technician so I did that as well as working for Sound Minds I did three days at Sound Minds and two days working with the, in the hospital.
I would leave the hospital grounds, come, drive down to Sound Minds, do a session there and drive up to, in the evening time, drive up to Mitchum, do a drop in at Mitchum and then from that time from 8 o'clock go home. And the next day do a bit of [psychiatric hospital], come back do a bit of Sound Minds. It was very hard work then, because at that time, people with mental health problems was working. I was one of the first person to work as a mental health patient full time and in mental health because of the project which was headlining down in the local hospital called User Employment Project, was a new thing. Where, the, the people who employed were people that were part, who had a sickness working within the same hospital that they were admitted in which was never done before. So I was one of the first people to be on that project and that is how I first went to work at Sound Minds and work as an
Housing and finances
Having a mental health problem and sometimes being unable to work meant many people lived on benefits and experienced financial problems. One woman built up debt from going on shopping sprees driven by her mental health problems. People thought it was important to know your entitlements and some struggled to get their benefits.
People thought that having secure, appropriate housing was crucial for good mental health.
Some described how having a mental health problem led to them lose or put them at risk of losing their home, including one woman whose accommodation threatened to throw her out because complaints were made about her behaviour, and a man whose house was at risk because he couldn't pay the mortgage [see Anton above]. A few people described having periods of homelessness.
Relationships
Having mental health problems also affected people's ability to make and sustain friendships and other relationships (see Dolly's story).
She says she's lost a lot of her friends since she became depressed. (Played by an actor).
She says she's lost a lot of her friends since she became depressed. (Played by an actor).
And do you think having depression has affected your life in any way?
It has, yes. A lot of people, when you're depressed, you've got an illness, they don't, you know who your friends are. Most people that know that I have, really, don't really say much, don't speak to me.
And this has happened since you had the depression?
Yes.
Do you know why that might be?
Well, they just probably think that I'm not, not good enough for them, to be a friend, you know. Black people are, they're full of pride. I mean if something goes wrong they tell you, you know. Like, you know, always with whites, when somebody is ill they still get help. But, you know, with blacks, you know, they don't want to, they just don't want to be involved, involved in things like that, get involved.
Many people described tension and arguments in their relationships with partners or spouses, sometimes because their partner didn't understand their mental health problems. Some relationships broke down as a result. A few people described being unable to form relationships with members of the opposite sex.
Ali says he has problems with women and can't get a girlfriend, although he's always been able to...
Ali says he has problems with women and can't get a girlfriend, although he's always been able to...
There was a period, about one year period, in the past two, three years where I couldn't even speak to a woman. That was something that was - and then people started judging me, and people started making remarks, and I became a real weirdo. It was like a very anti-social person who lost all the confidence, and very, very self conscious. I am all those things right now, but I sort of put a mask on me successfully. And I think it worked anyway. And that, I think that was the lowest point of my life, where I would feel so sad and so down that it was unbelievable, it was beyond help. And I don't think it was beyond help, but I never seeked help, that's the thing'
I mean I mentioned women. I mentioned my lack of competition, self esteem, confidence, but I think these things are lost because of depression. Depression is not there because of them. I think they are because I had depression and lost all these things.
Similarly, people described tension and problematic relationships with other members of their family (see 'The role of family, friends & carers'). One man found family events, visits and weddings very difficult.
Shaukat's always found it difficult to make friends and social situations such as family weddings...
Shaukat's always found it difficult to make friends and social situations such as family weddings...
But then when I was there, you know, I didn't actually enjoy it. So, everything was like a chore. You know, I, I'd go there because I felt, you know, I'd be at school I'd be with people or I'd be with family that I didn't really get on with much on weekends, and the visiting relatives and things like that. And it, it took a long time to, don't know, say to adjust to that kind of, I knew in, in my mind as well that, you know, from people's reaction, my family's and that, that I knew they didn't understand me or they didn't realise what was happening. So I just, you know, I did, kind of got used to spending a lot of time on my own, say like if I wasn't at the library or at home doing my work I might go into town, go to the shops but mostly it'd be on own, on my own.
I might meet somebody from school or, you know, relative in town but that I found that really hard because I didn't have the confidence, I didn't know what to talk to them about if I saw them, so I'd, sometimes I'd avoid them. You know, like, if I'd see somebody coming I'd, you know, either cross the road or go into a shop or and , you know, just found it really hard to do any sort of talking like that, you know, on the spot.
On the other hand I was like, in a way like forced as well to go, well not forced but sort of it's the cultural thing like, you know, with weddings and things it was like every, every time there was a family wedding you had to be there. And I'd find it hard really being there with lots of people and my appetite used to go all the time. I didn't really eat much a lot of the time I found it difficult eating, quite a lot of places. I mean, I couldn't force to myself to go say to the wedding or restaurants where they, if my family went or my cousins went, I might go with them sometimes but I wouldn't eat much and I wouldn't say much during the meals and things.
Sometimes I'd, you know, feel physically sick because I'd, so like that kind of thing, you know, I knew that I didn't , you know, I didn't fit in. But, on the other, I just kind of blamed myself as well because I thought oh it was just me, you know, I can break out of it or, if I do more things I'd learn about it. And I was expecting to, like you know, sort of collapse one day with this, you know, with the anxiety and stuff but it never happened.
It never, you know, it's like, so I'd always manage to sort of always, well I get through situations like the, you know, exams and things. I found them quite difficult and even though I was good at , you know, did well in them, in my school and initially I just always anxious about you know, how well I'm going to do or how badly I'm going to do. So I was always constantly worried about them. But the sort of fears never materialised so I just thought, you know, I'm just going to either get better or just going to collapse and that's how people will realise, you know, there's something wrong. But nobody really seemed to notice because I think I'd been like that for so many years that people just, you know, thought it was just me.
Some people lost their ability to care for their children, and a few had even lost custody of their children. Several people mentioned the burden on their families and a few women felt their mental health problems had put pressure on their kids and even affected their schooling. A few mentioned being short-tempered with and even beating their children.
Everyday activities
People's ability to undertake or participate in everyday activities was also affected. Some people were unable to do housework, cook, read, listen to music, watch television or do sports, including one man who said, “I used to be quite, a very enthusiastic young boy when I was young. I used to play a lot of sport, I used to run around, but now all I do is lay on my bed and just drink”. Some found it difficult being in public and consequently, could not go out, go shopping, use public transport, or eat in public. Some people avoided certain social situations, such as the pub.
Outlook on life
Some people described living with a mental health condition as “miserable”, “hell” and “horrible”. Many said that having a mental health problem “takes over your whole life”. They felt that their mental health problems affected their confidence, identity and independence and took up a lot of their time and energy: “I haven't really done very much with my life”.
She feels she has lost control of her life since she became unwell. (Audio in Cantonese, text in English).
She feels she has lost control of her life since she became unwell. (Audio in Cantonese, text in English).
Before I was ill, I could do a lot of things for myself. Everything was normal. I could take care of myself; I could manage my life well and very smoothly. But since I became ill, things started to go wrong. My illness means that my mind does not function properly; as if my mind is not entirely under my control and that I have to do what my mind feels like doing. People who haven't experiences this would obviously find very difficult to understand. Whatever tasks you want to perform is always under your control, right? But what I am doing is not entirely under my control.
As a result of not being able to work or go out and their problems with relationships, many felt isolated and as though their potential to live a full life was limited: “I am always trapped at home”.
On the other hand, many people reflected on what they had gained from having a mental health problem. Some felt they were a “better person” because they had learned something and felt they had gained various personal qualities including sensitivity, self-expression, knowing themselves better, people skills, not taking things for granted, dignity and strength. Some referred to mental health problems as a “gift” or in the words of one man, an “enabling disability” (see Edward's story). One woman said, “I have absolutely no desire to be anybody else” although another commented, “I am a survivor, but having said that I still prefer to go without these awful experiences”.
Despite the consequences described above, not everyone felt that having a mental health problem was a barrier to success and many talked about helping and inspiring other people, or just getting on with their lives.
Last reviewed September 2018.
Last updated November 2010.
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