Sexual Health (young people)

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When I first had my period I was at my Nan's house and I started crying, I was in the bathroom, I started crying and I called my mum and I said to mum, mum come quick, come quick, you've got to call an ambulance, I'm bleeding, and I didn't know anything about it, no one had ever told me anything about it. 

And I think schools, junior schools, I think had the talk in Year 6, I would have been about eleven, but by then I'd had periods for two years and my parents were kind of leaving it to the school to do and the school didn't see anybody, to tell anybody anyone younger than that kind of age ten/eleven, because most people don't start their periods that young, its really embarrassing, I don't suppose, I don't really know, so I didn't know anything about it at all.

What was your mum's response when you told her?

I think that my mum came into the bathroom and she said 'what are you on about' and she saw blood in my underwear and she went through to my nan's living room and said 'right, wait there I'll be back in a minute', and went through to my Nan's living room and got a sanitary towel out of her handbag, she just came in and said 'right, put this in your underwear I need to go and talk to your Nan' and took my Nan into the kitchen. 

And that terrified me because I thought oh my God, I'm dying, do you know what I mean, because they're having a serious talk and the door is closed and I'm not allowed in, and so when I went back in my mum said that, she sat me down and explained what a period was and why I was having it and that it means that I'm a real women now and that I've got to grow up, I've got to act grown up at nine years old.

How did you feel about starting your periods?

A bit nervous because I started quite early and before most of my friends had so I felt yeah, so just nervous and a bit embarrassed so...

Embarrassed, why?

Just because of having to go and change tampons and things like that, that no one else was doing it and you just feel a bit self conscious.

At school?

Yeah at school and things.

Did you tell your friends or the teacher?

I think I told my close friends, yeah probably my two closest friends but no one else.

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Well traditionally in my culture, when a woman has her period, there's like a full sort of party for her. And they cook her a big chicken, which she has to finish by herself, and things like that. So that's when I started my period, that's what happens' 

It was kind of embarrassing because my Dad was there and my brother was there, 'Oh, no she's got her period' and I was all like on, so the whole house knew but you know.

So it's something that it is celebrated?

Yeah, because in our culture it's like you've become a woman.

So, your mother, your father and your brothers and, and your second family also?

Yeah, there was my cousin, my uncles, there was this big chicken there, and they all go 'Ahhhh' and held it up. God, I was a wreck.

And you had to eat the whole chicken?

Yes you had to eat the whole chicken on your own.

So what does it mean when you're eating the whole chicken?

You've become a woman.  

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Yes, yes she knew because I'd been crying around and I'd been in tears all day and my back was hurting so much and I didn't know what was happening. Then my Mum went out to the shops and bought some sanitary towels and she said 'your period's going to start' and it did.  

And what was her response?

Oh God, it was so embarrassing, she said well, she told my Dad and she said 'oh we're so proud', but it was fine. I wasn't that embarrassed, well I was a bit I mean I was embarrassed when she told my Dad but it was fine.

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The novelty wore off pretty quickly. As I was saying before, I'm very active and hated it, it really got in the way, really, really got in the way and I hated it at school always feeling a bit hot and sweaty.  

And I remember obsessively every time I stood up looking and checking I hadn't leaked on the chair and then always checking the back of my skirt and hoping that nothing had happened and hoping that no-one would see me checking. And like there never ever was a problem but I always thought there was going to be one, always for about 5 years or so. 

No longer than that, because it was from 10 until, probably, probably until I was 17 that I was confident enough to say I mean, come on, it's not going to happen. If it hasn't happened yet, why is it going to start happening now? You can stop checking the chair every time you stand up!

So you were worried about it?

Yes, because it always made me feel really hot and sweaty so that you always felt a bit sort of damp and clammy and then you were sort of 'oh my god, it's happened, it's happened, I knew it was going to happen'. And you would stand up and think, oh okay, carry on with the rest of the day, because they always had those awful plastic chairs at school.

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And how did you feel about starting your periods?

I knew that kind of seeing you as a woman in those terms and even mentally I felt a change in myself. I've noticed this with my younger sister, that before she started her periods she was all jokey, mucking around with people, my brothers you know, she doesn't do that now. She's got much older, much older than my younger brother, she's not as childish as he used to be. And like I've noticed the same changes in myself. I wouldn't go and muck around with my brothers and my brothers friends. I just felt really...

Why? Were you told that you have to behave in a certain way?

No, no, not 'cos I felt like I had to, I just felt different in myself, I was like oh gosh, you know. Especially when I'm on my period I wouldn't go near people in case I leaked or, the usual fears of being like on your period, like do they know or can they tell that you are, you know.