Prostate Cancer
How prostate cancer affects you
Prostate cancer affects people in many different ways. We spoke with men about how their prostate cancer affected them, including their experiences at diagnosis and with side effects.
Experiences with prostate cancer diagnosis
There is no easy way to tell someone they have cancer. Some men recalled that the news of their diagnosis was broken to them kindly and gently, while others said that they had been given the diagnosis 'rather brusquely'. One man said he felt 'shattered' when he received the diagnosis over the telephone.
Despite efforts by some consultants to break the news gently, most of the men we spoke with said that they reacted with varying degrees of shock and disbelief.
Explains how devastated he was and felt completely uniformed about the cancer.
Explains how devastated he was and felt completely uniformed about the cancer.
Describes his initial shock but now how he focuses on the positive.
Describes his initial shock but now how he focuses on the positive.
I've read quite recently that it is one of the most significant killers of men, outside lung cancer. And he was very good, he said 'Sit down,' and he explained that because I had come to him at this stage and my tumour was not too far advanced there was a very good chance of cure. If, well he was saying also the majority of men that he sees with prostate cancer are too far gone to be treated the treatment is only palliative so you know I was there with a pretty good chance of survival which is very encouraging of course. But still it's a devastating shock you know okay we're all mortal and we realise that the end will come at some stage. And I suppose as you get older you become more philosophical because your children have grown up, you look to the fulfilment of your life rather than the sort of negative side and you say well we've done well you know we, I feel I have a wonderful wife, a lovely family- I'm very fulfilled. So I had the feeling well you know death is something that we've all got to face you know there is nothing unique about dying in fact it's quite the reverse. But by the same token it is still a shock when you think it's round the corner.
Some men said they had known for some time that they had a raised PSA level, but nothing had prepared them for their eventual diagnosis.
One man described feeling a sense of isolation and fear that others would not understand his feelings; another man said that he reacted to the news of his cancer by 'going into a frenzy of activity' searching for the best treatment, and it was only later that he felt somewhat depressed.
Some men were very worried about their spouses and families, and were particularly concerned about the financial implications of the diagnosis.
Describes his delayed shock but how much support he had from the professionals involved.
Describes his delayed shock but how much support he had from the professionals involved.
Comments that his main concern was for his wife's well-being.
Comments that his main concern was for his wife's well-being.
Describes his initial actions after being told.
Describes his initial actions after being told.
It was nerve-wracking, everything went through your head. On the drive home from the hospital to home which is only about half an hour after being told what the surgeon thought it was you were going through, have you made your will, how is your wife going to cope financially, what have you done with the kids, should you do this, have you done that and that was morbid and you did begin to think all these things, you couldn't help it. And I just remember driving incredibly slowly thinking that you know I can beat the cancer but don't go stupid and forget how you're driving or come off the road because you're not thinking straight.
One man recalled that when he was given the diagnosis he was 'unbearable to live with' for a couple of weeks because he could not accept that he had cancer.
Some men said that when they were first diagnosed with cancer they were optimistic about their chance of being cured. They said that 'a definite diagnosis was better than endless uncertainty'.
One man who had had a raised PSA value for a number of years said that when he finally received the diagnosis, he 'calmly assessed the situation'; another man said that his faith 'helped him face up to the idea of death'.
Describes his initial problems accepting the cancer but then how he became much more focused.
Describes his initial problems accepting the cancer but then how he became much more focused.
Going back to the Cancer Information Centre, this is when I first realised that I had cancer and I think for the first fortnight I was a bit unbearable to live with because I could not accept it myself, I didn't want to accept it. But I think after a period of a fortnight you sort of take yourself away and give yourself a damn good shake and say 'Come on get cracking and start living.' And we did, my wife and I went off to Canada on a holiday and it was a hell of a job to get the insurance but it was well worth doing it.
Suggests that there is no point being pessimistic.
Suggests that there is no point being pessimistic.
Explains how he took one step at a time.
Explains how he took one step at a time.
Well we thought mm it's arrived [laughs] it's been sort of coming all this while but now it's actually here and I wasn't driven into panic or anything, I mean although it was malignant, there was some malignancy there it was at the lowest possible level of threat so I thought oh well we'll have to take it a step at a time, see what these next tests reveal. There was always something more to do and one didn't feel that, I didn't feel that I had to take any drastic decisions about jumping this way or jumping that way until these further tests had been done. So I postponed my visit.
Explains how it is best to face matters and plan for the future.
Explains how it is best to face matters and plan for the future.
Yes well when it was diagnosed definitely cancer there, well I suspected it. But my own point of view at this age, I mean I'm not really worried about that, you face up to death and so on and I've had to think about that a lot in my life beforehand anyway and I have a faith that helps in that respect.
Experiences with side effects and prostate cancer
Side effects of various treatments also affected men’s lives (see also ‘Urinary incontinence’ and ‘Bowel and bladder problems’).
Some men said that treatment had made them feel very tired (see 'Lack of energy').
Most men who had treatment without hormones reported limited sexual function (see 'Impotence'), but they did not talk about this affecting their sense of masculinity.
In contrast, men who had long-term hormone treatment reported that they had lost their interest in sex (loss of libido) and felt ‘changed’, not only physically, but also psychologically (see also ‘Hot flushes, breast tenderness and breast enlargement’).
Some men said that hormone treatment had affected their 'sense of masculinity'.
See also ‘Living with prostate cancer’, 'How prostate cancer affects families', and 'How prostate cancer affects others'.
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