Prostate Cancer
How prostate cancer affects families
Almost all the men said that they had informed other members of their family about their diagnosis of prostate cancer. Often wives were present at the consultation when men received the diagnosis or they were told soon afterwards. However, a few men chose not to inform certain relatives because they did not want to worry them. While some men said that relationships within the family had not changed in any way, others said that the diagnosis had altered social interaction within the family to some extent. For example, one man reported that his brother felt embarrassed about the diagnosis and so tended to avoid all social contact and others reported that their children became more attentive and less demanding once they knew about the situation. However, one man reported that his adult children had not really understood the implications of the diagnosis.
My own brother has been too embarrassed to phone me, we haven't spoken, it's now 14 months since I went [for the diagnosis] and it's only in the past week that me and my brother have spoke about it, and even then he couldn't look me in the eye, he couldn't have eye contact when you're talking about it. And I think it's a lack of education where this is concerned.
My wife was with me, she went, my wife's been a wonder with me all the time and she's been my right arm all the way through it. Obviously she's been concerned as much as me because obviously we've been married for 36 years. We were married at 19 years of age and it is a long time to live together with a happy marriage which is very hard to find these days.
Yes we told my son and daughter what I had, but I don't really think it sunk in, I just think they just thought it was dad's got some sort of a bad stomach I think, I don't really think they understood the implications of it at the time, even though they're in their 30s now my children. I don't really think, they think you're sort of invincible because you've not had much wrong with you over the years.
Family members' past experience of cancer, or their knowledge of illness, may affect the way in which they react to the situation and one man pointed out that various members of his immediate family reacted in very different ways. Many men mentioned that their wives and children had been shocked when they heard the news and one man said that his family suffered because he did not want to discuss the situation.
As far as my wife was concerned she was very anxious, she was very anxious indeed, not only her but all her family and my family you know were anxious too. And so I think anything that's needing to know and talking about it and understanding the odds I think is very helpful. But what shocked me most was her shock actually, I should have expected it but I didn't. But then following that is a flood of concern as well you see from other people, sometimes to excess in my case, I'd rather not have too much, but I had no problem talking about it.
Informing others can be a positive experience, both because setting out the situation can help to reduce anxiety and because family members can be loving and supportive. Men said that their wives positive attitude had helped them come to terms with the diagnosis, and one man said that the news of his illness had brought him and his wife closer together.
Last reviewed July 2017.
Suggests that his brother has been very embarrassed by the diagnosis.
Suggests that his brother has been very embarrassed by the diagnosis.
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Discusses the impact on his wife and children.
Discusses the impact on his wife and children.
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Yes we told my son and daughter what I had, but I don't really think it sunk in, I just think they just thought it was dad's got some sort of a bad stomach I think, I don't really think they understood the implications of it at the time, even though they're in their 30s now my children. I don't really think, they think you're sort of invincible because you've not had much wrong with you over the years.
Explains how he was shocked at the flood of concern from others
Explains how he was shocked at the flood of concern from others
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Last reviewed July 2017.
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