Recurrent Vulvovaginal Thrush

Yeah, so mental health-wise it did affect me for a while but I'm quite lucky because I've got... like I said, I spoke to my partner, I spoke to my mum and my sister, so I have a support system and they're quite good, so I have that to... if I didn't have them to sort of offload, be like ‘oh my God,’ you know, and go through the process of and grieve [chuckles] or whatever, I probably would struggle more, but luckily because I have that and I can speak to them quite open, I'm not struggling that much with mental health if I'm honest.

Yeah, so I haven't... my mum is my main... I would say my mum has very much been my main support system with all of my health problems. She’s... especially when I was a bit younger, she came to all my appointments. I'll talk to her about everything. As soon as I sort of have a... have a hospital appointment, when I get out, I'm usually sending her a voice note – this is what’s happened. When I've wanted to travel places to access support, she’s travelled with me. She’s just my main support system in that way, and yeah, I speak with her about it a lot.

But it’s only this year that I found online groups, like I said, Eve Appeal, Medical Herstory, and it’s seeing that... like see the information. Like I didn't... fully... I said even though I... please I don't... I don't want this to come across wrong and I'm not trying to be offensive to anyone, I was born a female and so you kind of take for granted that you know your body and your anatomy, but not knowing the vagina, like the difference between the vagina and vulva, and all that not knowing the difference, it was like an online community taught me that.

But I do find that since I've been chatting about it more online and chatting to people that I know that have it, that’s been actually quite nice and being open about it because I do think that things like... like bacterial vaginosis, thrush, cystitis, they're all the things that you're just kind of expected to just get and get on with and go to a GP and sort it out and never talk about it, and I think it... you know, studies like this, and then talking about it with other people, it stops like vaginal thrush being so scary or so kind of hush-hush. So yeah, that’s kind of more of... I guess a silver lining to the itch [chuckles].

I found that speaking to girls through social media and people who have had it, like from experience, has been much more helpful, and especially it kind of almost gives you the confidence when you're speaking to someone that’s like, ‘no, keep going back to the doctor, keep telling them what you want, keep trying to advocate for yourself,’ that is much more helpful.

I never found anything on the internet other than what the NHS website was really. I never really found any forums as well either, do you know forums that the people go and talk about it? I didn’t find any of that either, which I thought there would be because it is... I know a lot of women get it, don’t they? But no, I didn’t... I didn’t see any of them, otherwise I would have joined in and asked for advice and stuff, but again I didn’t find anything which was, yeah, it’s not... it would be nice to have a platform like that, but then I suppose, you know, is there anything that can help us? But I suppose it would be a platform for people to share their experience so you don’t feel like you’re on your own with it.

Anyway, and that was the first time I actually got to sort of live chat with other women, there was only five of us, and it was really... the women did just... you know which is unlike... it’s not usual for British women, they did just dive straight in and were just very kind of like, ‘this is what’s happening,’ and I when I mentioned clothes, you know, another woman in the group was like, “Oh my God, yes, I've... I've always worn trousers, it drives me up the wall, I have to wear skirts and dresses now,” I think that what the doctor gives is like... it feels like five percent and what I’m getting in these groups is... the rest is the 95, which is how it is, I'm just super grateful and I'm... you know so I talk about it, so... but anyway, but it’s... it’s... it’s good to... it’s good to... it’s really important to have those groups; they're a lifeline.

I think just after a while of like reading different websites and different, you know, people describing their experiences, I just realised that everything was so... saying so many different things that I sort of stopped paying that much attention to it because there seemed to be... I guess I found it reassuring to read that other people had had the same experiences that I had, but I wasn’t reading too much into like, ‘oh, you should... should do this, or shouldn’t do this,’ or... yeah, I... I don’t think I was expecting to find loads of... loads of information, so I wasn’t disappointed by a lack of information, but I also tend to try not to look up stuff like that on the internet because I feel like it’s a bit of a minefield and just sort of stuck to asking my GP for advice.

But yeah, I would say trusted sort of sexual health locations that you know aren’t going to be stigmatising and that you know are at least may be involved with the actual medical professionals, are probably the best way to go because something can be... something can be like sex-positive but not really know what it’s talking about still, or something can be very approved of by medical professionals but have a kind of stigmatising way of talking about something, so it’s kind of that finding that sort of happy middle between factual and affirming.

I think it’s hard. I think there is some brilliant information out there, but you have to kind of delve through it all and you know like separate the truth round all the kind of... well, I think there’s... the... obviously you know like the feminine hygiene industry is like absolutely booming at the moment and so you can... especially when you're quite desperate, you know you find yourself looking at products and you're thinking, ‘oh, this could be the solution, like it’s got good reviews, like maybe this is it,’ but yeah, I think it’s hard to know... I think now I'm sort of more kind of clued-up on you know vulval health and vagina health and all of that stuff, like I know now what to look out for and what’s kind of a... looks a little bit shady.

So, I think I must have spent hours of my life researching and trying to find bits of information, so I kind of did quite a lot of it, but then picked the things that came up the most from the most reliable sources. But having said that, when I actually saw like the GP, or gynae, they just completely dismissed everything that I... I’d learnt.

So, I think that that’s... that was the hardest thing, is not anyone telling me or giving me any kind of definitive information or advice, other than stop Googling things, which I do... I know it can drive you insane, like reading everything, but without anyone giving you clear advice of what to do – that was kind of what I was left with.