Interview 07

Age at interview: 57

Age at diagnosis: 53

Brief Outline:

Diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005. He had a mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. He then had tamoxifen.

Background:

Interview 07 is unable to work because of illness, he is divorced. Ethnic background' White British (Scottish).

More about me...

 During his adolescence Interview 07 felt like a ‘freak’ because his breasts started growing bigger. He first felt a lump under his nipple when he was 15 years old. At that time he didn’t do anything about it – people never thought about breast cancer then. During the early 1990s he asked his GP about it but the GP did not refer him for a biopsy or take it further in any way. At a later date he noticed that his nipple had inverted. The GP referred him to the hospital for a biopsy and he was diagnosed with breast cancer. 

When he went in for his mastectomy (and lymph node removal) he was the only man on the breast cancer ward. He lost all his hair during his chemotherapy but knew it would grow back, and he got heat spots on his back after his radiotherapy. He was told when he was first given tamoxifen that he might get side effects, but not what they might be. He became very emotional after taking it and it affected his sex drive so he wanted to stop taking it. Overall he felt that he had had no choice about his treatment because there was ‘no choice to be had’.

He had no family support during his illness and treatment. He only sees them at funerals and they have not been in touch to see how he is. He knew he could get in touch with a Macmillan nurse if he wanted to but he hardly ever phoned up.

He has told people about his breast cancer but most people don’t believe it or won’t accept it because they didn’t think that men could get breast cancer. He feels angry that breast cancer in men is not mentioned. He was told that he had inherited something (he wasn’t sure what) from his father. He has never met any other men who have had breast cancer although he would like to have done.

He said that his treatment was ‘hell’ but he would go through it again because it was the only way to get better. His advice to any man with breast cancer is to go with all the treatment.

 

When he was 15, Interview 07's breasts became bigger. They continued to grow later in life. When he was at the doctor for something else, he told him that his nipple was turning inward.

Actually I thought I was a freak, freak of nature, ken what I mean? Growing up my mother never tell me… well, never tell me nothing, so… by the time of 15 I started getting my breasts started growing bigger, ken what I mean, at 15. But in the… in the fifties, sixties, there was a thing going about nipping your… ken… ken nipping the nipple, ken what I mean? And this nipple got a lump in it, but… cos breast cancer was never even thought about then, ken what I mean? Never entered anybody’s head, and it just got, I just got bigger and bigger and bigger, and then I was asked, no long… ken a few years ago, ken like early nineties, say? But because they kent my mother had a heart trouble and my dad dead o’ Alzheim- no Alzheimer’s… ken the one where he lost his mind.

 

Dementia?

 

Dementia, right. Cos they kent that, they never… the two doctors never even bothered going for biopsies or anything, and it was later on, my nipple started going in on itself, so I went down for an insurance line [laughs] and went by the way… ken, I was nearly walking out the door. I went “Oh, by the way, doctor”, I says, “my nipple’s sinking in on itself”, ken? And he says, “Let’s look” and he just sat me there, he says “you’re going to a specialist.” Right away he said, “You’re going to a specialist” and that’s when I found out. But I believe it was there fae… 15, 16, but growing.

 

Is there a lump in your breast? And how was…

 

It was huge.

 

Right.

 

It was huge, know what I mean?

 

Ken, it kept on growing. 

 

 

Interview 07 lost his appetite and his sex drive whilst taking tamoxifen. He stopped taking it after 3 years.

So was there any other side effects you had with the tamoxifen?

 

Nae sex.

 

No sex?

 

Nothing. Zero. Aye I’m no bothered about that now anyway. 

 

And how did that make you feel at the time?

 

Horrible, know what I mean? Well, you dinnae ken what’s daein’ it. You’re like that, was it the radiotherapy, was it the chemo or was it this tablet, ken what I mean? I didnae ken it was full o’ female hormones. 

 

Did you have a partner at the time you were on the tamoxifen?

 

No.

 

No? So was it just that you had no sexual desire, then?

 

Nothing, I had nothing. Weird enough, it slowly came back. But nothing.

 

How did that make you feel?

 

Inadequate … Horrible. That’s how I wanted off it.

 

Right. Was that the main reason why you wanted off it?

 

No, I wasn’t eating. I like my food, I do, and when you put… aye. Just didnae like it at all.

 

Right. And how long did you last on it for?

 

Three years.

 

Three years. So you persevered for quite a long time.

 

I did. Yeah it saved my life.

 

Right.

 

The tamoxifen has, ken what I mean? And it takes a while to come oot o’, ken, oot your system. It does take a long time to come oot, but…

 

How long would you say?

 

At least six month, maybe even longer, ken what I mean?

 

Right. Quite a while, then?

 

A while, aye. A while. Yeah a while.

 

Was there any other side effects with the tamoxifen?

 

Well, just didnae eat.

 

That was it.

 

Felt horrible.

 

And you just cried a lot?

 

Aye. That was… but I think that was wi’ the chemo as well, ken? All your emotions are doon, ken? All your emotions are doon, ken what I mean? The barriers come doon, so anybody that’ll ask you a question, doesnae matter what it is … “how are you?”… and you just start greetin’. I couldn’t understand it.

 

Yeah. Do you have…

 

Usually I dinnadae this, know what I mean?

 

 

Interview 07 was the only man on the breast cancer ward but he felt accepted there once the other patients realised he had the same illness as them.

 I was meant to go in in June, but I got postponed for another week. Didnae have a bed you know what I mean? And then I got a bed in Ward 10.

 

OK. What’s Ward 10? Is that a general surgical ward or…?

 

No, breast cancer.

 

So they put you in the breast cancer ward?

 

Me and women. I was the only man, and the women like that, I went for a smoke, like, ken? They were all in the smoking room, that’s where you were allowed away to smoke. They were like that, “What are you daein’ here?” I said, “The same as you.” I’d to carry my bag, same as them, ken what I mean? This bag, two tubes in it. Know what I mean? 

 

How did you feel being the man in amongst all the women in the breast care ward?

 

No bothered ken.

 

It didn’t bother you?

 

No.

 

Did you get a funny reaction from the women, or once they knew you were in?

 

I did, obviously, but once they realised that, I was the same as them, I was accepted. You know what I mean?

 

Did you make any friends while you were in?

 

No. I wasnae in long enough. Four days, four days I was in, and oot (laugh), know what I mean?

 

Interview 07 has good friends but most didn't come to see him when he was getting treatment because they couldn't cope with seeing him so thin.

So if you’ve no family supports, who have you got supporting you?

 

Me [laughs].

 

Just you. Have you not got any good friends?

 

Aye, I’ve got good friends but… they cannae look at me that thin ken, they cannae handle it, ken what I mean? It’s me that’s going through the treatment and they cannae handle it, they can’t understand, aye. I have got another mate now, I kent him years ago but I wasnae his pal then, but his mum died of cancer and he’s mair… ken, he’ll come in and that, ken what I mean?

 

Right, he’s not scared.

 

No, he’s no scared

 

Of coming in and seeing you…

 

No, nothing, ken what I mean? I’m alright now. Know what I mean, a lot of people come in now, but when it comes back they’ll all go away, they just cannae handle it.