Bereavement due to traumatic death
Financial and practical matters
After someone dies many financial and other practical matters have to be sorted out. If the deceased made a will, the executor of the will (also called the personal representative) is responsible for making sure that all debts, taxes and expenses from his or her estate are paid and for sharing out what is left according to the will. The executor's role can be complex and daunting, particularly as executors are often close relatives of the deceased and have their own grief to deal with, though a solicitor may do some of the work. Sometimes, if an estate is large or complicated, it is necessary to employ a solicitor. It is possible to complete probate using the coroner’s ‘interim death certificate.'
Insurance claims may be complicated too; especially if a loss adjuster is involved. Karen discovered this after her mother died in a fire. Loss adjusters are independent claims specialists who investigate complex or contentious claims on behalf of an insurance company.
Karen found a solicitor who charged reasonable fees and who dealt with her mother's estate. Karen found it very hard dealing with the insurance company. The loss adjuster caused delay.
Karen found a solicitor who charged reasonable fees and who dealt with her mother's estate. Karen found it very hard dealing with the insurance company. The loss adjuster caused delay.
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What about all the practical things you had to do? You had to sort out papers and other things?
Yes. I mean we were sorting out the papers, I mean we managed to get the papers from the house, and bought a big box of paperwork out of my Mum’s kitchen which was unbelievably, I mean, singed round the edges, but, and her will was actually in there, intact without a blemish on it, which was quite something. I put them with one solicitor to start with, because I thought there’s no way I can deal with all of this you know. I put it with one solicitors to start with after speaking to them on the phone, explained the situation, put it with them to start with and was sort of like, I don’t want you to do anything with it, just hold it for now until I’ve spoken to the family, i.e. my sister mainly, to see what she wanted to do. And then this solicitor had done two things, which I hadn’t asked him to do, because I’d said that I knew she’d got insurance, I knew she’d got this and I knew she’d got that um, so he’d started trying to get hold of that information, so I was stuck with a bill from him. Well I quick smart moved my stuff from him to a solicitor that me and my sister were both happy with, because I said to my sister, I’m not paying this guy’s fees and then they take a percentage of the estate. I said, “That to me is just daylight robbery.” Um, so I put it with another solicitor, who they don’t charge like that, and they explained exactly what they do, do, and what they don’t do, and led very much by what the executors’ wishes are, because basically you are asking them to act on your behalf.
And he’s been very good. But the only people that have been really hard to deal with are the contents insurance people, loss adjuster. It’s a nightmare, and he’s the one that’s still holding things up now. Everyone else has done what they need to do, except this loss adjuster.
What does he do? He has to estimate how much money is due as a result of everything that’s happened?
Yes. Yes.
It’s taken that long?
Yes, it’s still going on. ‘Um, and that’s the final bit to do.
Good gracious. Why does it take so long?
Because he said that, well the solicitors' letters, because obviously when he has, the solicitor sends me a letter, he’d reckoned he’d been onto the police five times for their reports, and not said to them, you know, you don’t need to go to them, just go direct to the Coroner’s report now, you know. It’s all there.
So what the insurance will be liable to pay for you would be affected by the result of the inquest?
Yes.
I see.
Yes. Like if it was a suspicious, then they’d be looking to claim whoever. So that sort of thing.
After someone has died, the deceased person’s bank, the tax office, insurance provider, and many other organisations need to be informed. See our dying and bereavement resources for links to information about what to do after someone dies. Informing organisations, such as utility companies, can be exhausting. Josefine sympathised with older people struggling with these practical matters and suggested there should be someone appointed by social services to help them.
People who are bereaved may have financial difficulties. They may feel unable to work for a while yet have to pay funeral costs and other expenses. Thus they may need to claim government benefits or find other means of financial help. Some people had received financial help through their insurance or from the company that had employed the deceased person. Some had received government benefits, or financial help from one of the special funds for bereaved relatives. However, others had financial problems and many found practical matters difficult. Dorothy said that getting the correct benefits from a government department for her daughter-in-law was an ‘absolute nightmare’.
The relatives or dependents of someone who has died as a result of a criminal injury may be able to get compensation under the Criminal Injuries Compensation Scheme. The bereavement award is a fixed payment of £5,500 (in 2014), but if a claimant is the only person qualified to claim then the payment doubles to £11,000. It may not be easy to obtain this compensation, partly because people only receive compensation if it is clear that the person who died had no criminal record themselves. Some people we talked to found it easy to get compensation but others found it very difficult.
Ann's son was murdered in 2005 and the trial was in 2006 but she was still fighting to obtain money under the Criminal Injuries Compensation Scheme two years later.
Ann's son was murdered in 2005 and the trial was in 2006 but she was still fighting to obtain money under the Criminal Injuries Compensation Scheme two years later.
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How much money do people have a right to, as Criminal Compensation?
The amount of money is about £11,000. Of which half of that, five and a half thousand is for the father, five and a half thousand is for the mother. Now as we know, society; nowadays not all Mums and Dads are married, not all Mums and Dads are pro-actively Mum’s and Dad’s, often the missing parent has not played much part in the upbringing of that child. So there again I feel that, for that missing parent to be able to even make that claim despite the fact that they will have huge hoops to jump through anyway, I think that needs looking at.
I can give you one example of the pain that I was unnecessarily put through by the Criminal Injuries Compensation situation, and that is a week before Christmas. I was asked to send a copy of the birth certificate for Westley, to prove that I’d given birth to the child that I was grieving. This is an absurd thing to have to do, but most important, did no-one think of the possibility that asking for that so close to the worst possible time of the year, Christmas, was hugely insensitive, and I’m sure the poor people that are on the other end of the phone probably have a number of people getting very angry and people thinking well, that’s a very unreasonable person without realising that it’s not that the person’s unreasonable, they’re in a terrible state of often post-traumatic stress.
Was it very difficult to get the money?
I’ve never had the money.
Oh.
I’m still in the process of fighting it.
But why?
Well because for silly reasons. Virtually every family is turned down at the first stage.
I just thought it would be a form and get the money.
Well, no it isn’t. Earlier today I had a phone call from a lady who is not, not everyone has a background of writing letters, is not always a) somebody’s forte and b) they haven’t always the ability to find the will to write the letters when they get turned down, to actually appeal, to read the books, to look at the forms.
But why has yours been delayed?
Well because, I mean as far as I’m concerned, I was just turned down, when I wrote back and appealed, I mean certainly when the case was heard the judge, one of the judges comments was that Westley’s life had been taken, a completely innocent man in an unprovoked attack.
So why haven’t you automatically been given the money?
Because of the monies don’t come through automatically, and what’s more I’ve come to realise that certain cases get dealt with very much quicker than other cases, if they’re high profile they’ll often get paid out where somebody else’s may not get paid out.
What date was the trial?
The trial was August 2006.
So they’ve had plenty of time.
Yes, in fact I’ve only just phoned recently to the CICA, the London office apparently had been closed, the papers go from Scotland to London and back again.
Sorry, what’s the CICA?
Oh the Criminal Injuries Compensation.
So you’re still waiting?
I’m still fighting it. Yes.
After Martin’s wife was killed by a bus he had to look after their children. He found it impossible to work, struggled to pay the bills and found housekeeping difficult.
After someone dies, bereaved relatives usually sort out the dead person’s belongings and decide what to do with them. This can be distressing. Some people we talked to almost felt guilty about moving their relative’s things. People gave things to relatives, some gave things to charity, some sold certain objects, and some decided not to touch them.
Sarah's husband left a specialist collection of books and magazines that needed to be sold. She was torn, feeling that if she disposed of her husband's belongings she was disposing of him.
Sarah's husband left a specialist collection of books and magazines that needed to be sold. She was torn, feeling that if she disposed of her husband's belongings she was disposing of him.
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And then I suppose there were other practical that you have to worry about? Sort of changing bank accounts.
Yeah, bank, all of that bank accounts, house insurance, that was, that was a massive piece of work, but probably what was an even bigger piece of work for us, which was personal is that he was a collector and had more collections of things to do with transport than you could ever begin to imagine, and we’re still sorting those. And that’s been a task of just humungous proportions, an attic completely full of trains and boats and planes and vehicles. More magazines than you can ever be, and something, we counted 120 magazine titles.
Ah. Goodness.
Collections of, and thousands of books, all of which have had to be catalogued and showed, and sold in specialist places because they were all specialist things.
And actually dealing with all of that has been another of the things that I feel that has made this whole experience even more drawn out. Because you’ve got, and back onto this split personality business, you’ve got the need that you have to do this clearing out and yet on the other side by clearing out you’re throwing him out, disposing of him, the things that were his life, excitement. So you’re torn, you want to throw it out, or, I don’t mean throw it out, you want to dispose of it.
Yes.
That’s a better term, and some of the things, something that cost £150 you don’t want to give to a charity shop, because when there were 40 of them that’s a large amount of money tied up in artifacts, that you can’t afford to give away or throw away, and so getting rid of them in a specialist way, you’re desperate to do, but you’re desperate not to do because the doing of it is somehow denying him his retirement pleasure. And so that’s another split personality thing, which is still going on, and I think will probably go on for another year or so at least.
William decided not to touch his daughter's room. Three and a half years after Lauren was killed by a lorry it was still as it was on the day she died.
William decided not to touch his daughter's room. Three and a half years after Lauren was killed by a lorry it was still as it was on the day she died.
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Were there any important practical things that you want to talk about, that you had to do afterwards?
What do I say, what do I say? Well, one issue is what do you do when, you know, with her bedroom obviously, what do you do with the room?
And again it helps to talk to other people. I thought that I was being a bit you know a bit mad, a bit loony to think that I really wanted the room left the way it was, and not touched, but I found out that, that’s quite common. And so three and a half years later her room is just the same as it was on the day she died. And I don’t know if that’s healthy or unhealthy, but it is fairly common. I know that other people who feel that when they’ve lost a loved one they have to clear the room out, you know make it a bare shell, give away all the clothes, all the possessions, and completely redecorate. If that works, then fine but I couldn’t at this point, I couldn’t entertain doing that, except for the eventuality of say the house changing hands. And all her possessions are still there. Now there is a gradual integration of her possessions, or some of her possessions with her brothers. You know, in as much as, you know if she had a MP3 player and her brother didn’t, then you know, but strangely enough there is a tendency with her brother that he’d rather get something that hasn’t been Lauren’s than take something of Lauren’s as his.
If a traumatic death occurs abroad, other practical issues arise. Insurance may pay for all the expenses that are incurred, or the dead person’s employer may offer support, but after a terrorist attack people may not be covered by their holiday insurance. Susanna explained that after the Bali bombing the Foreign Office only paid to fly home an ‘intact’ body, not other body parts identified later. She also said that because people had died abroad, relatives were not eligible for Criminal Injuries Compensation.
The 'extraordinary practicalities' to be sorted out were made more difficult by different time zones, different languages, and dealing with the Indonesian police through the British police.
The 'extraordinary practicalities' to be sorted out were made more difficult by different time zones, different languages, and dealing with the Indonesian police through the British police.
Sex: Female
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There were huge problems with the fact that the Foreign Office, this of course was a bombing so people weren’t necessarily physically intact, and the Foreign Office would pay to fly back an intact body, what they called an intact body, but as subsequent bits got identified you had to pay to fly them back yourself. And some people couldn’t afford that. And so there were incredible levels of trauma superimposed on the original trauma.
Awful.
And people were still dying up until Christmas, in the hospitals from their burns mainly. It took a long time before we knew whether or not my sister in law was going to survive, and she finally was well enough to travel just before Christmas, and so we had my brother’s funeral in a freezing Kent village church just eight of us, a very small number, just family, on 23rd December, and he’d been killed of course on the 12th October. And you had to do all sorts of ridiculous things like if a, if one of the key relatives is , isn’t able to attend the funeral you had to find mortuary facilities in the UK that can keep somebody in the deep freeze until they are ready to have their funeral. And all sorts of extraordinary practicalities that we had to sort out such as the time zone differences, and the language differences, and the dealing with Indonesian Police through British Police, and it was an extraordinary bad, confusing situation.
Who paid for, did the government pay for Dan to be brought home?
Up to Heathrow. So if you lived, if you didn’t live in Heathrow you would pay from there on, and quite a lot of people didn’t have very much money. And there was, because it’s an act of terrorism a lot of insurance policies don’t pay out, and because it happens abroad you don’t get Criminal Injury Compensation payments, because they cover UK only. And there are no funds available, the Red Cross collected funds but those funds only went to Australia and Balinese relatives, so we were left between lots of stools in funding terms. And it was an incredibly expensive experience.
If a person’s family member or friend has died abroad the Foreign and Commonwealth Office may help people cope with the practicalities of a death overseas. See our dying and bereavement resources for links to further information about what to do if someone dies abroad.
Relatives can contact the Bereavement Register, a free service which will arrange for the dead person’s name to be taken off mailing lists and databases in the UK.
Last reviewed October 2015.
Last updated October 2015.
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