Dorothy - Interview 28
Age at interview: 65
Brief Outline: In 2005 Dorothy's son, Mark, was killed in an industrial incident. He was working in a waste and recycling plant. Dorothy was shocked and angry. Counselling, hypnotherapy and Compassionate Friends have helped.
Background: Dorothy was a civil servant (now retired). She is married and has 2 children (1 died).
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In April 2005, Dorothy’s son, Mark, was killed in an industrial incident. He was working in a waste and recycling plant at the time. On the day he died he had been asked to load and bale 4,000 gas filled aerosols. The machine was not designed for this purpose. He was alone in the building when the load of aerosols exploded. Mark screamed for help, but the fire exit was locked on the inside. The main door would not open at first because it got sealed due to the heat, and the fire extinguishers did not work. Mark was taken to hospital, and put on life support, until Dorothy and her husband arrived. The doctor said that due to Mark’s burns his chances of survival were nil, so life support was discontinued.
Dorothy and her husband were devastated. Mark had left a wife and two children. They were devastated too. The family liaison officer made things worse by describing in detail what had happened on the day Mark died. Dorothy did not get any help from the police. She phoned a solicitor for help. She also phoned the Centre for Corporate Accountability. This is a charity concerned with the promotion of worker and public safety. The organisation provides free and confidential advice. Dorothy found help there.
The coroner refused to release Mark’s body. He said that he was waiting to see if the Crown Prosecutor was going to bring any criminal charges. Dorothy wanted to leave flowers at the place where Mark died, but the company refused her access to their property. Dorothy decided to leave flowers at the gate of the industrial estate where the company was situated. She did this on a regular basis, until the company asked the police to tell Dorothy that they would charge her with criminal harassment. Dorothy was shocked that the company was so inhuman and uncaring and that they denied her the right to leave flowers in memory of Mark.
The Crown Prosecutor decided that there was not enough evidence to bring criminal charges against the directors of the company. Mark’s body was released and the funeral took place. The family had a humanist funeral and then Mark was cremated.
Dorothy was consumed with rage. She was angry that criminal charges had not been brought and that they had to wait so long for the funeral. None of Mark’s work colleagues came to the funeral, which was also upsetting.
Dorothy saw her GP, who prescribed diazepam to help her sleep. She also saw a psychiatrist, who said that he could not help her because she was not mentally ill, and that she was suffering from grief. She saw a counsellor, and had 10 sessions of private counselling, which was very helpful. She also had some hypnotherapy, which was wonderful. The hypnotherapy helped her to get rid of the flashbacks she was having. She kept seeing Mark consumed by flames. Dorothy also asked for Cruse counselling, but she has been on the waiting list for about a year. She found great comfort by communicating with members of Compassionate friends via their chat room on the internet.
Dorothy wanted to prepare for the inquest. She was shocked when the coroner demanded £566 before he would send her the evidence that might be presented at the inquest. She was told that the coroner’s action was illegal, so demanded the money back. Her solicitor said that he would go the small claims court, so the coroner repaid the money and withdrew from the case.
Another coroner considered the evidence at the inquest, which took place in February 2009. The jury gave a narrative verdict, not the verdict of ‘unlawful killing’ that Dorothy had wanted. After the inquest Dorothy felt devastated and exhausted and let down by fellow citizens. Health and Safety will now decide whether or not charges will be brought against the company. The company has accepted liability for Mark’s death, but Dorothy’s daughter-in-law is still waiting for compensation.
Dorothy, like the rest of the family, has been deeply affected by Mark’s death. With others she has started an organisation, Families Against Corporate Killers (FACK). This is a national campaigning network which campaigns to stop workers and others being killed in preventable incidents and which directs bereaved families to sources of legal help and emotional support. Dorothy is trying to re-build her life but sometimes she still feels that life is not worth living.
Dorothy was interviewed in 2009.
Dorothy felt disillusioned with the justice system and with politicians after her son died in an...
Dorothy felt disillusioned with the justice system and with politicians after her son died in an...
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How have your feelings changed, if they’ve changed at all? Are they just the same, or have they changed in any ways, and what other feelings have you had?
I think, I mean in that time I would say there’s probably not a day gone by when I haven’t thought of Mark.
So, the anger I suppose is under control, lets put it that way, it’s there, but I control it, it’s under control. I think as time’s gone on and I’ve met more people and you know the justice system and the politicians, I think my, my disillusioned by the system has grown. I have no faith, no faith in the system here at all, and I suppose at sometimes I have no faith in my fellow man really, but occasionally you meet someone, there are, there are people out there who are giving their all, you know trying to support someone, or trying to campaign, or trying to battle or whatever.
Dorothy finds it hard to relate to other people who have not been bereaved by a traumatic death;...
Dorothy finds it hard to relate to other people who have not been bereaved by a traumatic death;...
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I feel I’m talking a foreign language to people now, I don’t have, I can’t relate to people now, you know, people who haven’t been through this, because I get very impatient, you know when people are talking of the golf club, and the cruise and the whatever, and the price of this, or the price of electricity, I get very impatient because I think all these things are going on every day, and this is all you’re worried about, you know I’m so, I don’t have an awful lot of sympathy you know.
That’s understandable.
And they don’t want to know what’s happening in my life either, people back off, you know I’ve lost quite a few friends…
Have you?
Yes. Yes. I’ve lost one in particular that I hadn’t spoken to her since the day I phoned her to say what had happened to Mark, she’s never been in contact, which hurts.
Why do you think that’s happened?
I think people, it’s kind of, I think they think it’s some kind of infection, I think its, I don’t know, I think it’s probably they, they don’t know how to cope. Or whether you know you’ve, you’ve become a different person, which you do, you know you start off being a kind of confident, everything’s right with the world and whatever, and you cross over into another parallel universe where everybody has been denied justice, you know, people are losing children for all reasons, everybody is, you know, all these people that are being killed at work, I mean, it gets to a point where you know that people are being killed every day, it’s like you wake up in the morning and think some family is going to start doing what we’re doing today, so its, the true world’s kind of separate really, you know, this world where everybody’s sort of carrying on and talking about buying a new car and all the rest of it, and this world where you know you’re campaigning for people’s basic rights to life and to justice.
After Mark died in a workplace incident Dorothy found a few journalists who helped publicise her...
After Mark died in a workplace incident Dorothy found a few journalists who helped publicise her...
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What’s your experience of the press been like, the media?
We’ve actually been, well again the media not really, on the whole the media are not interested in deaths at work. It’s if you, we have actually tried to get publicity for workers memorial day, and deaths at work and how it’s happening every day and they’re not, we have been told a few times that it doesn’t sell papers, but having said that we actually have, I have some contacts who have actually been very good, some journalists who do feel quite strongly about it who have actually printed some articles, not so much the detail obviously of how Mark died etc, more you know into the campaign, you know our campaign to try and get the law changed so that directors are held accountable when people are killed at work, you know, in order to try and stop it, so that they’re, you know, I’ve had a few articles printed like that.
But, we haven’t had any, I mean perfectly honest you know, we’ve probably had less publicity than we would have wanted because you know the more publicity there is, we feel that it brings it to public attention. I think, I think the press is more interested in, I don’t know sleazy murder cases and things like that, you know that might titillate readers rather than the actual issues you know.
Dorothy couldn't sleep and was having flashbacks after her son was killed. Her husband was very...
Dorothy couldn't sleep and was having flashbacks after her son was killed. Her husband was very...
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I was consumed with rage. In fact so much so that I think possibly at that time I could happily and quite easily have gone out and killed the man who killed my son. It became a kind of overwhelming feeling, and my husband actually was quite worried because he thought I would do it, so I went to a counsellor, a private counsellor, I went to a counsellor then, and she was excellent.
Was she a professional counsellor?
Yes, yes,
How did she describe her sort of counselling, did she talk about any sort of particular therapy?
She probably did yes, she probably did, but to tell you the truth I can’t really remember, because you know, you’re brain tends to sort of just shut down, I just knew I needed, I needed to talk to somebody out with the family, you know that I could say all the things that I wanted to say, at that time, because the rage was just taking over.
This was mainly listening?
She was listening, yes. She was mainly listening. And she made me kick things, and punch things and you know get it out that way. And eventually I kind of got to the point where I thought well what’s the point of killing him, it would possibly give me some satisfaction, some momentary satisfaction, but it would just bring more grief on the family so..
Did you have to pay for that counselling?
Yes, yes. Uhuh. No, there was no help from the, no help from the NHS at all, and don’t get me wrong, my doctor here but we were living down, we were living down south, the south of England, but my doctor here is, I mean he’s a very nice, in fact he gave me some diazepam at the beginning, but he said, “I don’t want you to get into the habit of that.” So I had a couple of diazepam, just for the first two or three weeks.
Did you ever explore the idea of getting more counselling, paid for by the National Health Service?
I did, I went to the doctor, he sent me to, oh I can’t remember, to a clinic, I saw a psychiatrist, one visit and I explained it all to him, and he said, “You know,” he said, “Really,” he couldn’t help because he said, “You’re not suffering any kind of mental illness,” he said, “You’re not suffering from a depression” he said, “You’re, you’re suffering from grief”, and he said, “And I can’t really, I can’t really help.” So that was, that was really. I had no counselling with the NHS, again you know, I don’t know because I know other people have had NHS counselling you know where they’ve lost someone you know through cancer or through whatever, so it’s very different, the whole experience of losing someone where it’s a death at work, is totally different.
How many sessions did you have with the counsellor privately?
I think I probably had about 10 sessions with her.
So that was quite expensive.
It was, uhuh. I also went to a hypnotherapist telling a lie, the hypnotherapist came here, to the house, that was expensive also, it was £60 a session. But that was wonderful, you know. But it was mainly, again it was specific, I was having flashbacks, I couldn’t, you know, when I slept I just saw Mark being consumed by flames, so I couldn’t sleep I would sit up at night drinking coffee or whatever, so that was specifically counselling, it was hypnotherapy and we concentrated on relaxation techniques, and being able to try and get these flashbacks out of my mind, and it was quite successful, and she, you know, she sort of showed me how to relax, partly so that was, that was again it was just specifically for that, for that purpose.
Did she put you in a state of hypnosis?
Yes. Yes.
And it helped you to think back, think in a different way?
No, it was, it was mainly the kind of, putting me in a place where I felt comfortable and relaxed and able to feel, not quite happy but peaceful, basically.
How many sessions did you have to have with her?
Again I probably had about 10.
And that helped a little bit?
It did, it helped with the sleep, and the flashbacks, but then obviously you know the flashbacks have tended to come back, while we were going through the evidence for the, preparing for the inquest, you know, reading it all, I began to get these flashbacks back again during the night.
I’m so sorry.
Anyway that’s difficult.
Did she put you in a state of hypnosis?
Yes. Yes.
And it helped you to think back, think in a different way?
No, it was, it was mainly the kind of, putting me in a place where I felt comfortable and relaxed and able to feel, not quite happy but peaceful, basically.
How many sessions did you have to have with her?
Again I probably had about 10.
And that helped a little bit?
It did, it helped with the sleep, and the flashbacks, but then obviously you know the flashbacks have tended to come back, while we were going through the evidence for the, preparing for the inquest, you know, reading it all, I began to get these flashbacks back again during the night.
I’m so sorry.
Anyway that’s difficult.
Dorothy went to a Scottish gathering of Compassionate Friends and used their internet chat room....
Dorothy went to a Scottish gathering of Compassionate Friends and used their internet chat room....
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And then you said you got in contact with Compassionate Friends?
Compassionate Friends, that was when, that was a few months, that was probably about the end of the year December 2005. I was desperately looking on the internet to see if there was anything, and I came across the website, Compassionate Friends, and that was, that was an amazing help to me because at that point there was a sort of a chat, a chat room as well, and there was always somebody on there because, you know there was members that lived in Australia and Spain and whatever, so even at one o’clock in the morning, there was somebody on you know, and we could, that you could talk to and sort of see how you were feeling at that time. So the Compassionate Friends has been an amazing help to me, I mean I’m still, I still have contact with, I haven’t been, I haven’t been able to go to any of the groups ‘cos there are no groups near at hand here, I’ve been to one, the Scottish gathering. I would like to go this year, but we’ll probably be out of the country then, ah but its, you know it’s an amazing organisation, and its, I think the fact that you can just speak and say how you really are, how you really feel, rather than putting the mask on, I find now your all the time, you’re putting a mask on.
Dorothy described what happened when her son, Mark, was fatally injured in a huge explosion in a...
Dorothy described what happened when her son, Mark, was fatally injured in a huge explosion in a...
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Well he [my son] said that the health and safety procedures were almost nil, and he was being bullied by his general manager into taking huge safety risks, and on the 11th April 2005, which was in fact my birthday, the last birthday I’ve celebrated, he phoned to say that he had got another job, and he would be handing in his notice. And I never spoke to him again. That was the last time I spoke to him.
And on the 12th April the general manager in that company took a load of 4000 aerosols, gas filled aerosols for processing for scrap, and he loaded them into a baling machine and he told Mark to bale them up. The aerosols were filled with butane gas as I said, Mark was alone in the building, there was a huge explosion, fireball which blew part of the roof off the building, and the windows out, and Mark was set alight. The fire exit was locked from the inside, Mark was screaming for help, there was no fire hose, there was no fire blanket, the staff had never had fire drill, they didn’t know where the extinguishers were, when they found, the extinguishers, they were empty. So he was basically left to burn to death.
I’m so sorry.
When the fire, when the ambulance arrived, Mark was still alive, he actually walked into the ambulance. The first we knew was a phone call from my daughter in law, and she said, “You have to come now, there’s been an explosion, and Mark’s in hospital, and there’s no hope.” So my husband and I just threw a case, threw a case in the car and it took us five hours to get down there, and we arrived at the hospital, oh about midnight, and they took us upstairs to the intensive care and a young doctor, a very nice, that was the last act of kindness I think, that was shown to us, the doctor explained to us what had happened, and said they had thought of taking Mark, moving Mark to a burns unit, but he said he chances of survival are nil, so we thought we would make him comfortable and keep him here till you came. So we went in to the room and he was just burned beyond recognition.
Just a charred body. And we were allowed to see him, excuse me, we were allowed to say goodbye, and while we were sitting there saying goodbye there was a clattering of dishes from the sink, from the kitchen next door, somebody very noisily washing dishes, at midnight, and because it, it, you know it sort of got through to my brain because I thought how come somebody be washing dishes, when some, my son is dying.
And when we came out of the room they switched the life support system off, we came out of the room and this woman met us in the corridor and said, “Well I can go home now folks, would anybody like a lift?”, with a dish towel in her hand. And I learned later that that was the Family Liaison Officer. That was my first introduction to the Family Liaison Officer. Not one sorry, no regrets, just “I can go home now” he’s dead. That was the, that was the impression.
What was she doing washing dishes?
Ah, well she’d been making coffee and whatever, and you know she’d been waiting there for us coming, and the family were there, my son’s best friend was there, he was the best man at their the wedding. He was there with his wife, and they were supporting my daughter in law.
The liaison officer added to the family's distress when she described CCTV footage of Mark's...
The liaison officer added to the family's distress when she described CCTV footage of Mark's...
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But the Family Liaison Officer, I think, I can’t remember whether it was because we didn’t sleep I mean, you know you don’t know days or whatever, but she called shortly after, and the family were all there. Friends and family of my daughter in law’s were all sitting, as people do, they collect in houses, sit and drink tea, nobody does anything, they just sit and drink tea, and the Family Liaison Officer called and started to tell us in great detail, she said that Marks’ death had been recorded in CCTV, and they had all been watching it back at the station, and that it was quite horrific, his death was quite horrific, and she started to tell us details then, of just what happened, in front of everybody.
And my grandson was there. And my daughter had flown over from Italy and she took my grandson out and she said, “You shouldn’t have to hear this. He shouldn’t be listening to this.” And she [the officer] actually enjoyed it, it was like she was describing a good film she’d been to, an exciting film she’d been to, and she seemed to quite actually enjoy the gory details of the whole thing.
How awful.
And to cut a long story short the woman was just absolutely horrendous, she added to our agony so much, so we eventually phoned the police and said, “Don’t send that woman back to this house, because she’s not doing us any favours whatsoever.” And with that the police more or less withdrew and didn’t, we didn’t get another Family Liaison Officer and we got no more, no more help from the police at all.
Did you explain why you didn’t want to have her back in the house?
Yes, yes.
And they didn’t apologise or send anybody else?
Well that came much later, I made an official complaint to the Chief Constable of that particular force. And that came much later, that was a lot later. Because you don’t know what, nobody comes forward to help. Nobody says. “This is what you do, this is what happens, this is what should happen.” No, this is a new experience, you don’t know, you really don’t know what you, what should be happening.
Dorothy's son died in an industrial incident. She said that in a similar situation the family may...
Dorothy's son died in an industrial incident. She said that in a similar situation the family may...
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Have you got any message for other people like yourself who are bereaved because of some industrial incident?
Yes, I would say don’t think that the police or the health and safety or the Crown Prosecution or whatever, that any of these official departments will be on your side, or will act for you, in your best interest. I think you need to get the strength of your own people around you, a good solicitor, and if it’s an industrial incident, the Centre for Corporate Accountability, and like myself, the Compassionate Friends, where you know, if it’s a son or daughter, are wonderful. And you just have to fight, you have to battle and fight to get justice. It will not come easily.