Lily

Age at interview: 40

Brief Outline:

Lily’s son was burnt aged 15 months old when a cup of hot tea was spilt on him. For six weeks after he was burnt, she attended regular appointments where his dressings would be changed. Sometimes Lily struggles with feelings of guilt.

Background:

Lily is a housewife and lives with her husband and their three children, aged 3, 9, and 10. Her ethnicity is Pakistani.

More about me...

Lily’s son was 15 months old when he sustained burns to his face and his left armpit after a hot cup of tea was spilt on him. Lily and her husband drove their son to A&E where they assessed the extent of his burn injuries. For the first 15 minutes after they arrived at A&E, Lily’s son did not receive any treatment, and this is something that bothers Lily as she was told his burns should have been under cool water straightaway.

After an hour and half in A&E, Lily was told that her son would need more specialised treatment at the local children’s hospital. An ambulance was called for them and they were taken to the children’s hospital, where her son was kept overnight. The next day, Lily was told by healthcare staff that it was ok for her to go home, but to return every day to have her son’s burn cleaned and his dressings changed. Lily’s son attended outpatient appointments for a total of 2 years before he was discharged from the hospital’s care.

When her son was burnt, Lily felt “in shock” at what had just happened. She felt concerned about whether his vision would be affected by the burn, as her son was not able to open his eye. Lily remembers “praying to God to please save his eye”.

Witnessing her son’s dressings being changed was an incredibly painful moment for Lily. Her son would be placed into a bath where his burn was cleaned to remove dead skin, Lily would sometimes close her eyes as it was so painful to watch.

Sometimes Lily would feel guilty and blame herself for what had happened. A psychologist she spoke to would remind her that it was an accident and it was not her fault. Lily felt grateful for the support she received from the psychologist, other burns healthcare staff, and her friends and family.

Lily did her best to stay calm and reassuring as her son had his burns cleaned at hospital.

Yeah, they put him in the bath all the time and make him stand in front of me, and because he was only 15 months so he never let me go... So he keeps holding my hand, I would say, and they keep rubbing in front of me and I try to close my eyes but then, every single time I realised, no – I need to open my eyes and look… my baby’s eyes that, you know, ‘Don’t worry, it’s going to be fine.’

Lily used scar gel to treat her son’s burns and would change his dressings herself. At first she felt scared to change his dressings.

We had to go every second day and then it came to after every five days. And when, I think, his dressing, they had to change after every five days and then they opened the bandage and they said, “It’s fine, we don’t need to just wrap him around after maybe a month, or maybe six weeks.” And then after that first six weeks, after every two weeks we had to go and check. Because they were concerned about his movements of the arm and the doctor told me that “If you can just use the scar gel frequently, like twice a day for…” it was a long time, I just quit about six months ago, and they said “If you can use the scar gel twice a day, that’s fine. But if you think at any point that his movements are not that better or anything, then we will just give him a steroid injection” which I was trying to avoid. So, I used the scar gel and his movements are fine.

So, I was the one who always took him to the hospital and, after a few weeks they gave me patches and everything and they said “Now you can change the bandages at home. You don’t need to come as frequently: five, six days. So, after every two weeks you have to come back to us and then we can see how he is he doing and if, at any point, we need maybe to change the bandages, the type of bandages or anything then we’ll do it our own, otherwise you have to do it”.

How did that make you feel, having to do the bandages yourself?

It was really scary at the beginning because I was kind of even scared to touch him, but you know, I don’t know, if I will touch him, I don’t know, if I will touch him I will hurt him, and it was bad, horrible and, I was guilty. It was kind of a sad feeling and kind of guilty feeling that, you know, I was the one who did it.