Ovarian Cancer
Psychological impact
Being diagnosed with ovarian cancer evokes many different emotions. While a few of the people we interviewed suspected they might have cancer and had not been particularly surprised by the news, and some were taken aback to hear that it had spread, many people were shocked by the news of their cancer.
Feelings experienced with ovarian cancer diagnosis
Several women described a sense of numbness, confusion and disbelief. Some could not concentrate on what their doctor was saying or even remember their own address or phone number. Two women said that they went shopping in a daze and bought things they did not need after leaving the hospital upon learning their diagnosis.
Couldn't believe her diagnosis was real.
Couldn't believe her diagnosis was real.
Although women sometimes felt relief that their symptoms had an explanation, others felt frustrated or angry that the cancer had not been found sooner. One woman could see no escape from the cancer and felt trapped.
Was angry that her ovarian cancer symptoms had not been recognised sooner.
Was angry that her ovarian cancer symptoms had not been recognised sooner.
Could see no escape from her cancer and felt trapped.
Could see no escape from her cancer and felt trapped.
Some reacted quite calmly to the diagnosis and decided it was something they just had to deal with, though sometimes people who receive the diagnosis calmly react emotionally later. One person lost her appetite for five days and was prescribed an antidepressant. Another had to wait five weeks for her diagnosis after having a biopsy: she felt that the long wait contributed to her having a nervous breakdown and being admitted to a mental hospital during that time. While she was told later that she was lucky because her cancer had been caught early on, she didn't feel lucky.
Reacted calmly to her diagnosis and decided she just had to deal with it.
Reacted calmly to her diagnosis and decided she just had to deal with it.
Was calm at the time of diagnosis but reacted emotionally later.
Was calm at the time of diagnosis but reacted emotionally later.
Well, the consultant showed me the scan of this little cauliflower thing and he told me what it was and I felt quite calm, actually. Just sat there, I suppose because it really didn't sink in and he told me what would happen with me; I'd go in, have the operation, have both ovaries out and some lymph glands. And I drove home quite calm and it wasn't until I came in the street door that it suddenly hit me, and I just burst into tears. And I didn't ring my husband, I rang my sister because we're very, very close. And I told her and I felt that as soon as I'd told her, I felt sort of relief.
The diagnosis can be particularly frightening when it is unclear what will happen. Women may not know anyone else with ovarian cancer and can feel isolated. Some assumed they would not live much longer and began to prepare wills and plan funerals.
Updated her will and planned her funeral after getting the diagnosis.
Updated her will and planned her funeral after getting the diagnosis.
A woman whose cancer had been diagnosed at an early stage and who only required removal of her ovaries found it difficult to adjust to normal life after her operation despite the excellent outlook. Another said she needed time after her treatment was finished to come to terms with what had happened.
Could not adjust to normal life after having her ovaries removed as treatment for early cancer.
Could not adjust to normal life after having her ovaries removed as treatment for early cancer.
I think I left hospital and I really was aware that despite being told that everything looks like it's going to be fine, they can't say a hundred percent but it looked really good and the prognosis was great. I felt absolutely terrified and I knew that there was a huge kind of conflict between what I was being told and what I felt.
I think, some of it you just need to talk, you need to say how you feel, you don't want anyone to say 'ah but you shouldn't because everything's going to be all right,' or 'but the doctor said this.' You just want to say 'look I feel like this, it's got nothing logical about it, it's nothing to do with the prognosis or the treatment or anything, I just feel scared'.
Managing reactions of others to diagnosis
In addition to dealing with their own emotional reactions to their illness, some women had difficulties in dealing with the reactions of family and friends. One decided to end her already strained marriage because her husband was an alcoholic and could not look after her or their children. A woman who was used to helping other people with problems felt guilty for needing help when she was ill. She was glad that she had no immediate family to be affected by her illness.
Found it hard to deal with other people's emotional reactions to her illness.
Found it hard to deal with other people's emotional reactions to her illness.
Feelings experienced after illness and recovery
Women also talked about the ongoing psychological effects of their illness experienced later on. Some felt guilty that they had survived when others had died; others talked about the positive effects of having a serious illness. They sometimes found that having cancer made them re-evaluate their lives and put things into a different perspective. They said their illness taught them to value what was important in life and to be more understanding of other people's problems. Some said they felt stronger, more confident, and able to deal with other problems more easily. Several said they 'lived for today and took opportunities to do things now that they might otherwise have put off until later'.
Having cancer taught her to value the important things in life.
Having cancer taught her to value the important things in life.
And I think one of the hardest things that I had to get my head round was the fact that, you know, one of the things that is guaranteed for all of us is that we will die. And the other thing was, realising that, you know, so many people are living, they're alive, but it seemed to me they weren't really living. And so the whole of that, for me, was turned completely upside down, and I recognised that every moment I had was of great value.
I know if you ask my mum, if you ask my friends, that I'm a more compassionate and loving person as a result of that experience. The whole of that experience, has given me a greater sense of what really has a value in life. And for that I am grateful. As mad as that sounds, had I not gone through that experience, I probably wouldn't have come out feeling, you know, when I see a sunset or when I see new flowers coming, I'm like, 'Wow'. You know, that's what's important to me now.
Having cancer made her feel stronger and better able to tackle other problems.
Having cancer made her feel stronger and better able to tackle other problems.
Some said that after their illness they made more time for themselves, only doing what they wanted to do when they wanted to do it, and did not allow themselves to be pressured into doing things they didn't want to do. One reflected that she had enjoyed the attention she received from health professionals and friends and craved it when it ceased during her remission, which made her feel self-centred. Another thought she had gone through a selfish period at first, but that it had balanced out in time.
Having cancer has taught her to only do what she wants to do.
Having cancer has taught her to only do what she wants to do.
I don't stick to routines, I'm not washing day Monday, baking day Tuesday, I'm not that type of person. I now decide when I get up in the morning, if I want to go and do something, I do it. If I don't want to do it, I don't do it. And that's exactly how I look at life, and I just live each day as it comes and enjoy myself.
The most commonly experienced long-term psychological problem was knowing that the cancer could return. Some felt that they became hypochondriacs for a while, imagining that anything could be a sign of the cancer coming back, or they would alternate between optimism and worry. However, others managed to put their experience behind them: they found it hard to believe that it had happened to them because they now felt so well (see 'Facing the future').
During periods of remission she could never forget that the cancer could return.
During periods of remission she could never forget that the cancer could return.
Well in one sense I feel that it's been quite a strain over the 10 years, because although I had quite long remissions, the cancer's always there in the background, and if people don't know until quite a late, late stage, they haven't got so much time to worry about it. Not that, you know, I've had it in my mind all the time, but you can't completely forget it. It's always there in your life.
See ‘Coping strategies’ and ‘Other sources of support’ for more information about dealing with the emotional impacts of ovarian cancer.
Last reviewed December 2024.
Last updated June 2016.
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