Mental health: ethnic minority experiences
What else helps
There are many different ways of managing mental health problems, including taking medication, using alternative therapies or seeking comfort in spiritual beliefs and practices. People also develop other ways of managing that suit them and their lifestyle. For example, many people talked about looking after themselves or doing “self-healing things” and a few people said they changed their lifestyle altogether. These strategies often involved doing particular things or, in some cases, avoiding things.
Helpful activities
Many people found exercising, running, swimming, or going to the gym helpful. Others enjoyed getting out of the house to do some shopping or just for a walk: “just being in the fresh air lifts my spirit and energises me”.
Many people talked about keeping busy or doing things like hobbies or watching television as a form of distraction. People also benefited from making time for themselves and resting.
Having a sense of humour and having a laugh with friends was also important for some. Several people also mentioned their family responsibilities as something that helped them to cope, although these could also be stressful. (See 'The role of family, friends & carers'.)
Ataur occupies his mind with his family responsibilities, although sometimes it can add to his...
Ataur occupies his mind with his family responsibilities, although sometimes it can add to his...
So just, that's interesting what you were saying about having the family responsibility, do you think that's part of it, part of the reason that sometimes you get depressed because you know that you have the responsibly for the family?
Well yes some, some yes definitely [nodding] because if you are head of the family although you don't live together but any problem for their problem, my brother and his wife, I have five brothers after me, I'm six, we are six brothers, they would ask the oldest one. 'This is the problem what shall I do?' Definitely, well this is my, our society or and up to now all the brothers is asking me, let me know what they're doing, what they're happening what they're thinking and they encourage me, 'Don't worry for us, you stay well, we are alright, you don't have to worry for us.' But although it's come I know that my younger brothers for the sake of my health and my problem, my depression problem they're saying something not to worry. But I always contact them or their wife, how they're doing, what they're doing.
Talking and expressing feelings either to family and friends or to other people with mental health problems also helps. Comparing experiences with other people was found to be especially useful (see 'Support from mental health charities & support groups') [see Jay above]. One woman enjoyed going to a Latin American group to dance and talk to people in her own language. A few people valued holidays in their own country where they could forget their problems and relax.
Ataur enjoys going back to his home country where he can forget everything.
Ataur enjoys going back to his home country where he can forget everything.
As you know I'm running a restaurant so I'm, all the time is a pressure in here. When I go home a few days after I forget this side, how I forget if the restaurant not running what can I do? I feel it, I put to my mind inside. I phone my wife, they're alright. If my wife goes with me I leave my daughter or somebody, or my mother even, two of my daughters they're alright. And I'm meeting with my one family to the other family, one group of friends to the other group of friends so all the time I'm laughing and joking and I couldn't give a damn I say, 'Oh let it, [breathes out] what can I do, I'm Bangladesh 6,000 miles away, I can't do nothing.' So I don't know this is the way I feel and that's why I get more relaxed. Like a holiday you go, you forget everything, relax two weeks, three weeks. When we go for, we don't go every year, five, six years after we go for two months, three months, six months. And when I stay six months I don't feel like to come. But when I come her I get this problem, that problem that problem lying on me and then you're back to square.
So is it right then, have I understood correctly that it's because it's a bit like, it's a bit like a holiday?
Yes [nods].
Some people mentioned that paid or voluntary work also acted as a distraction as well as providing a sense of achievement or purpose.
Reena says work helped her "to keep my mind fresh". (Audio in Bengali, text in English).
Reena says work helped her "to keep my mind fresh". (Audio in Bengali, text in English).
So slowly I gained confidence, I had the courage. I would have to stand up, have to talk, have to try. So they sent me on a course. I had to go. So because of all this support and their encouragement I started a course. I took four lessons and then gave up driving lessons. I was doing well with my driving. Even the instructor asked whether I used to cycle before or anything like that. I said that I hadn't so he said, “How come you are so good at driving? You have got all the right ideas.” And then I went to the school and asked for a job. They gave me Year three. Now I was not able to manage Year three, I did not know enough English so I said, “Put me in the nursery group.” So they offered me playground duty, so I took the playground job. Then they suggested to me to go on a course. I went for the course and then because of my illness, my baby started eating other things, I joined with the nurses. I worked with them for about three months.
Voluntary work?
All these were voluntary work, it was not regular work. I just used to be with them, like at the school I didn't do full-time, just two or three days, it was not really a job but to just keep my mind fresh. It was better than sitting at home doing nothing. So doctors said, “When you are fed up with the work, you just write it all down and come away. You come home and then either watch a film or read a book or be with friends. But don't force yourself to do the work. If you do you will get bored and have problems.” And, you know, if I were nervous I would have anxiety attacks. So I started following their advice. Like if I was cooking and felt bad, then I would just leave everything and go out with them maybe to the park and have a chat and freshen my mind that way. Or sometimes I would just lie down for 15 minutes.
Some people described how helpful writing had been for them, helping them to express themselves and giving them a purpose. Several people had written their life story, or poetry and letters. Keeping a diary helped some become aware of what progress they had made [see Edward below].
Nelsy wrote letters to members of her family to express her anger.
Nelsy wrote letters to members of her family to express her anger.
So I did it and I knew that was going to be angry with me, she wouldn't like it but I risked it. And yes, she stopped talking to me for a while and later on she wrote to me. I tried to speak with her and, but she proved to be terribly ambitious and materialistic and, if I help her with money and things I was her daughter, if I joined her church I was her daughter, if not then I wasn't. So I decided, OK I don't have a mum and gradually over time I, I made my own decision to be my own mum. I think I was lucky to know what being a mum was because I already had my, my daughters when I had a nervous breakdown so I knew what it was being a mum. I didn't want to be like my mum, consciously, and so yeah I decided that I was, and I have been, I have been, and I am a different mother. So at the moment I'm mothering myself, and fathering as well because my dad died when I was fifteen so I have to mother myself, and I mother my two daughters which is very hard. But I, but if I do it that makes me a better person and a better mum that I want to be. So dealing with my anger I also dealt with my anger with my dad but because he was already dead I also wrote a letter to him but I share it in my group. For me the group represented my dad, the absent dad and it also helped me to release my anger and to calm down, calm my anxiety because that's what I was, I was too anxious, too nervous about everything [Sighs]. So I continued dealing with my anger.
Writing helps Lorenz express his feelings.
Writing helps Lorenz express his feelings.
You know you were but there's a detachment, you find that your whole self wasn't together and that, that is amazing. And the write, I think my writing to the doctors in the hospital when I come out and when they're, when I have interviews with them and when they ask about how you're getting on really all these things I put down on paper and express my feelings. I mean some people have a very special feeling by writing but certainly verbally say how you feel about what's happening to you or what has happened to you. I think that's a great relief when somebody is able to listen to you and take it in.
That's, I mean actually one of my questions was going to be do you have any messages for other people in your situation, so I mean that'
That is it
'sort of is, that would be it in then?
That, yeah I really think that they should write down their thoughts, even if you can't share with anybody at the time just write like a diary and keep it near yourself. What I've already said don't always go back and look at it, no don't, it plays on your mind badly. I haven't really done that myself but I know it wouldn't be right. When you get better, when you feel and the people round you can see that you're getting better then after the period of time you can then say, 'I'll look and see how I had been.' But if it's going to get you depressed, it's okay steering clear of it really, it's nothing that got me depressed it's just I was, my seeing what the doctors wrote about me.
Others mentioned music and art. One woman had produced a diagram depicting the different stages of her life and how they led to her breakdown and then recovery.
Playing music and being an entertainer is therapeutic for him.
Playing music and being an entertainer is therapeutic for him.
And The Voice newspaper did a big spread of it and it was on BBC 2 Newsnight, depicting Black people with a mental health problem, that was the same thing I went through, it stars racism, the police system, all these things that you have been discussing about Black people. I did into a form of entertainment. And that's quite unique. And from time to time I get 'phoned in to stage it, you know. So at the moment I am still working on to update it a bit more. So that is something else I do. And that is how we founded the Theatre Company here at Sound Minds. We do other theatre stuff as well. So I do mostly live bands, theatre and media work at Sound Minds.
Avoiding things
For some people, however, such activities could trigger symptoms or were just unhelpful. One man tried running and said, “it didn't help me at all, I feel worse afterwards”. For these reasons, some people avoided particular activities such as watching television or going out, either in general or at times when they might be particularly vulnerable. Some people avoided things that they found stressful like using the telephone or opening the post (see David's story). Having a stable, quiet home life and maintaining a balanced lifestyle was therefore important for many.
Diet, alcohol and drugs
Diet has been found to have an impact on mental health. Lots of people thought that their diet was important: they described avoiding junk food and trying to eat healthy, home cooked foods, and fruit and vegetables. One woman had been advised not to drink caffeine. A few people said they sometimes ate to feel better.
Many people talked about using alcohol or drugs to “self-medicate”. One man had felt tempted to try drugs because nothing else worked for him, but said he was too scared. Those who had tried using drugs found them unhelpful (see Chapman's story) and recommended that others avoided them (see 'Messages for others'). Some people liked to smoke but equally a few said that giving up smoking had helped their mental health problems. It is important to be aware of the damage drugs, alcohol and smoking can cause to the body.
Edward describes the things that help him cope: keeping a diary, avoiding drugs and alcohol, and...
Edward describes the things that help him cope: keeping a diary, avoiding drugs and alcohol, and...
Well that's the way that I see it anyway. So, you know, I didn't drink too much alcohol either because when you can, even though I didn't have a relapse as such the illness would, or the condition would tend to result in sort of mild depression and so forth. And I had all the signals, I had all the signals to be avoided in a list, I hadn't written the list down and the signals, the warning signs that I was looking for in myself were excessive paranoia, depression' anxiety state that goes on for too long, non-specific anxiety state. Obviously if you're anxious about an oncoming bus and you're stuck in the middle of a pedestrian crossing that's understandable but, you know, any kind of anxiety state that doesn't have a, an obvious explanation. And the physical things are excessive thirst and mixing up words at the end of sentences and having to repeat them, that's very embarrassing. That's the most demeaning symptom that I can think of, especially being a professional communicator, you know, the thought of going in front of a class and just not being able to say anything properly, you know, but feel that they notice everything. Well they do, but they don't notice it as much as I feel they did, you see. So that was something, so those are the excessive thirst, anxiety state, paranoia and delusions.
(The following section is written only)
And so the diary has helped me calm down in so far as if I've had, say last year I had on 29th June I summarised the previous seven and said, 'Look I've had four bad, four bad days in a row this year.' I go to the diary, look at the same time the previous year and read it and hey, I had five bad days in a row last year at this time of year and it's worked like that all along the line so that I'm able to monitor, prove to myself that life gets better and it does. I know it does because I've just got to read my diary if I'm in any doubt it gets better. And somehow we have to, all of us, it doesn't matter whether we've been ill or not have to try and get this perceptual integrity about living in the present, you know. And hopefully I've at least mastered that by now, you know, or some days perhaps not but, you know, most of the time.
Now I once said to my shrink in Australia, I said, 'Look [my psychiatrist], I know the difference between delusions and reality.' And he said, 'Oh do you,' he said 'what's that?' I said, 'Hindsight' [Laughs] so' [laughs]. I tend to wait for a lot of hindsight to make sure that these delusions are in fact what they are. So I go to a lot more trouble than most people do to examine their delusions, okay? And that takes up quite a lot of time and effort. I keep a diary every day and I have done since, oh 1991, I think when I first separated, before divorce. I keep a diary every day and it's a page to an opening A4 and in it, when I've got the time I usually fill it in you know it's pretty full by the end of the year because even if there are gaps I can come back to the gaps and fill them in with an
Self-harm
Some people used self-harm as a way of channelling their anger and distress or managing their feelings and a few used fantasies of suicide as a form of escape (see Ali's story). See our resources page for links and phone numbers for crisis helplines.
Other ways of managing mental health problems included learning “danger signs” [see Edward above] and techniques (see Hanif's story) and doing things to minimise anxiety.
Some people described talking to themselves, reflecting on positive aspects of their lives and themselves. One woman described making time for her voices [see Jay above].
Positive attitude
Having a positive attitude was also considered to be important (see 'Recovery'). Some people said they tried to forget about their mental health problems. Others felt it was “something I've just got to cope with” and refused to let their mental health problems take over their lives. Some forced themselves to face their fears and do things they were uncomfortable with: “once you face them you'll be better”.
As a Black woman, Imani feels there is an expectation for her to cope and be strong.
As a Black woman, Imani feels there is an expectation for her to cope and be strong.
Because I think that, I think, I was going to say being here, but I think it's, I think it's an international thing because being here as a black woman, you the perception is that, you know, a white woman is feminine, is frail, needs to be taken care of, needs to be looked after, but some how the feeling is that a black woman is the care giver, is the nurturer, is the person who gives of herself. And that will be professionally, it will be at home, it will be in her local church, it will be wherever you might find yourself and, and so sometimes yes, as a black woman there is this thing that you will cope because you are strong. And because, maybe because you have survived, and because, you know, you come from a long line of Africans who didn't die in slavery, you are strong. And it's hard, because there are times when, you know, you want to, I was watching Airline and there was a woman who just got to the end of herself and she threw herself on the floor and just screamed and when she had really screamed her frustration out. She got up, she picked her bag up, she put her hat on and she stood at the desk and she was able to engage. And I looked at that, and I just thought all power to her, because my fear of doing that, and maybe that's another part of it, it's expectations as well, because if I do that, I am immediately perceived as mad, as so there is an expectation of a code of behaviour for black women and if you step out of that, it's a negative. And it's not that oh my gosh, something is wrong, and I will, you know, see if I can help her. It's almost like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, panic, panic, horror, horror. Let's call the police and so I think that, yes, there is this feeling that you have to, you know, the soft mellow side of you, you really do have to just hide away, and you have to cope, you have to manage, you have to be strong.
So is that the code of behaviour?
Yes. Yes.
And whose, who has those expectations?
The society in which we live.
Is that everybody or is that people who are white or is it also within the black community?
I think, because I think, it's the white community. And I think it comes from yes, I think it comes from the black women being the nurturer and the care giver and even in, you know, during slavery, and even afterwards, when we were still people's nannies, regardless of what may have been happening in your own home, you still stepped out, you still put your hat on, and you still went to work, you still provided, you know, whatever was coming you were able to deal with it and accept it. And still keep going. And so I think that it's part of the European imposition on us, but I think that because sometimes we, [inhales] we lose touch with who we are and the definition of who we are and we start to assume a definition imposed.
There is this, there is sometimes this feeling that we are now beginning to expect it of ourselves and that's part of the reason why I came to leave the country when I did. And met my ex-husband and all that horror started. Because I [sighs] because I do feel, sometimes I do feel, I just want to be feminine. Sometimes I feel, that I do just want to be soft, sometimes I feel that I do just want to be vulnerable, but when I'm soft and vulnerable, what does that mean? And because the strong definition is always resonating in my head, that just doesn't fit. And then my fear in that, is, in a relationship, allowing the man to be the strong person in that relationship, means that you have to give something up, and how willing are you to give that thing up, so that he can be strong? And yes, it is okay to be soft, to be vulnerable, to be even, dare I say it, submissive. And… it can be really difficult. It can be very difficult, because you want to be but there’s a, there’s something inside you that says no the definition doesn’t fit, and then it worries me because a lot of my black female friends are single. And they’re single wondering why they’re single, and the ones who are single are the ones who have assumed that ‘strong’ label. The ones who have said, “Well no I’m not. I’m not.” Those have always been able to find relationships and partners, who will take care of them, who will be there for them, but the strong women… The label can sometimes become a life process that can shut the door to really meaningful relationships. Yes, it’s really quite tough [laughs].
Because a friend I was speaking to you about earlier, I am now, after the, after my marriage, I feel that I’ve even become stronger still, and it’s, I am not going to tolerate this. I’m not going to put up with that. I’m not accepting this. I’m not accepting that. And I need to talk to friends because my fear is that I’ll be so strong and so un-, unyielding that I will end up just pushing him away. And so I keep having to touch base with friends who say, “No, no, no. you know, when he says this, and when he says that, just try to look at it like this, you know, lessen the drama, just try to be more light about it, you know, some things just don’t matter. Some things are just not worth fighting about. You know, just let it go. It’s okay.” And so it’s almost like I need someone’s permission to be able to let go of being strong.
Last reviewed September 2018.
Last updated February 2013.
Copyright © 2024 University of Oxford. All rights reserved.