Making decisions about birth after caesarean

Well, it was even better, because as I said, I thought I'd have to like spend two or three days in bed, but I was up on my feet the next day. 

And was that you initiated that getting up?

No, no, no, it was the people at [Hospital]. I remember my caesarean was at about five o'clock in the afternoon, and the next morning a really lovely lady came along and helped me to the shower, got me up and I was just flabbergasted and she was just, you know, 'Get in, get in the shower, on your feet, have a wash, you'll feel better', and I did.

And that's what you wanted?

Yeah, and I stayed' I was on my feet instantly. I didn't go back to bed.

I felt really weak, I felt ill actually, I got' and I felt really ill. I felt very dizzy and' get a bit worried about what's, what's wrong with you because you don't normally feel like that, it's something you don't experience, especially sort of after you've got a new baby you expect to feel like a bit more with it [laughs].

And how long were you like that?

I was like that for a long time, even when I came out of hospital. I came out of hospital on the' I had him on the Tuesday and I came out on the Friday and on the Friday night I didn't get discharged until about eight o'clock at night. And I got home and I felt really, really terrible. I felt' you get worried, like you're thinking 'oh my God, well, what's wrong with me?' But' no, it went on for quite a while. It went on' I didn't feel normal again for a good month, over a month.

And did that surprise you?

Yeah, because you expect to sort of bounce back quite quick, but you don't realise it is a major operation. I don't think, because it's so routine now, I think people get into the habit of thinking, 'Oh well, it's'' or, 'I'll go'' all these people having caesareans, they think 'oh, I'll, I'll have a caesarean', but it's not all that easy really.

Okay. And did you have any long-term worries about either you or the baby being affected? 

Long-term? Not really, because my scar' I was lucky, I never had any problems with my, like the healing and that. I healed like brilliantly really.

And did you worry that you were unable to do as much as you'd like to have done?

Well, I was supposed to be drive' learning to drive and, because I, I was driving right up until I had my test in like a couple of months before he was due. And I failed, and I had it re-booked, and I had to cancel it because I had the section and you can't drive for six weeks. And obviously then, I had to have a couple more lessons before, so that took a lot longer than I would have liked. I think that's the main thing, you don't realise you can't drive, you can't do- the normal things, just like getting out of bed and things is a lot more difficult.

When my daughter was delivered I had quite a lot of pain in my right shoulder and no-one could really tell me at the time why that happened, and it lasted a few days and I was given painkillers for it. And also I had quite a few problems with my heart after as well; whether it was due to the stress of the delivery I don't know or if it was just' I really don't understand why it happened, but I ended up having to see a heart specialist because of it because it went on for about four or five months.

And what kind of problem was that?

It was, it just felt like my heart was thumping really hard in my chest all the time, almost like palpitations I suppose.

And how did that resolve, did that do it by itself or '?

It resolved itself in the end. They said that if it didn't I would have to take medication, but luckily it did, it did go eventually.

The only worry was that the pain, sort of deep pain from the scar went on for I'd say almost a year. Sort of twinges and that's' I went to see the doctor about that and she just said well you've had a' it's the nerve endings knitting and just expect it. So after I'd been told that and I knew it wasn't anything going wrong. And obviously you worry about the stitches coming open.

I think the, the scary part was when I looked down and I've sort of been half, half-shaved, and it looked, it did look quite, obviously bruised and tender and there was sort of still the anti-bacterial dye but then, as time went on and the shape went back to normal, and the hair started to grow back, it was like, looking in the mirror, sort of, you know, 'This is me again', and it didn't bother me, because the scar did heal up ever so well. It went quite faded and wasn't quite noticeable.

I recovered quickly, I didn't have any complications with my scar or anything. 'And luckily [Son] was a good feeder because I think that would be a concern. Now I know about sections, you know that possibly' because I was sick from one of the drugs so I was' my blood pressure went really low and I was sick. It was three o'clock the operation and I was being sick for the rest of that day. So I didn't actually get to hold [Son] or feed him for several hours.

And you carried on breast feeding after that?

Yep, but I think the first feed was probably two or three hours after he was born.

Okay. And did you have any worries immediately after that you or the baby were in some way harmed or affected by the way he was born?

I did when he was delivered because he didn't cry for ages. And they had to suck the meconium out, it hadn't gone down too far, and they had to help him to breathe and he had a low score* initially. But there was a paediatrician and everything there and' it was all very stressful, the actual operation.

*APGAR score (a measure of the baby's condition at birth).

So, your baby was taken, was she taken to SCBU or ITU?

The SCBU straight away.

So how long did she stay there for?

Seven weeks, which wasn't that bad really, sort of compared to other babies that were in there for like five months. Because she was breathing on her own, and didn't need ventilation, that she, you know, she had antibiotics to overcome infections and possibly, there was the chance of a blood transfusion for septicaemia, but then, you know, once she got over these little infections, it was just a general case of sucking reflexes to take feeds properly and then just to gain the weight.

So she didn't have any other problems, just apart from the fact that she was one pound fifteen?

One pound fifteen, yeah. It went down to one pound eight. I, my mum, she sort of knows obviously more'

That's alright, there's no right or wrong answers, don't worry. And what about you, were you well afterwards? You didn't have any complications?

No, no. I think I had a reaction to the morphine, burning hands and itchy face and, sort of tiredness and people wanting to come and see you all the time and you didn't get a minute to sort of sit down for yourself, because everyone sort of expects you to, because you're walking about and you're wearing make-up or something, everyone expects that this is how you actually are, but not on the inside.

So when did you go home?

I had her, got referred on the Thursday, everything went kicking off on the Sunday, she was born on the Monday and I went home on the Sunday, so I was in there for nine days in total.

So, what was it like going home without your baby? 

Horrible. Really horrible. I mean, my daughter's dad had said, you know, he'd pick me up, we'd have a Sunday lunch and just sort of stay in at his house and just relax and he came to pick me up and I just said, 'I can't, I've got to go back in and see her', and we went back in and sat, just sat with her and had a quick cuddle, but I just ' I, I got used to it as the days went on but the initial, actually going out into the air and back out in, because I'd been in that hospital all that time, not even gone outside the building. It was horrible, leaving her there.