Tom - Interview 23
More about me...
Now he is on sulpiride and has fewer side effects than previously. He is now doing music and painting and wants to make films. He has been involved in awareness-raising.
Tom was diagnosed with schizophrenia after spending time in a day centre supervised by psychiatrists. He felt both upset and relief.
Tom was diagnosed with schizophrenia after spending time in a day centre supervised by psychiatrists. He felt both upset and relief.
Well, I was very upset at the start of when I first was diagnosed just because I, you know, I thought, “Oh, well, this is just.” I just thought, “This is the end, this is the end of my life, you know, my life is over now.” So I was very upset and but also quite relieved because I by that time, I knew that something would be would be done about my, about what was going on. Something would, you know, somebody would get something done. They’d give me some tablets or something or send me to hospital for a while and then, I’d hopefully, I’d get a bit better. So it was a combination of upset and relieved.
Tom found that playing the piano, reading, painting and writing poetry gave him a sense of purpose and kept him going, along with support from family.
Tom found that playing the piano, reading, painting and writing poetry gave him a sense of purpose and kept him going, along with support from family.
I suppose reading literature, reading therapy, you know, I also fancy myself as a bit of a poet but I mean I used to write a lot of poems. Things like that. So that helped as well and just artistic things generally did help.And helped very much at times. Sometimes it, you know, sometimes it didn’t and sometimes they, you know, they caused a lot of pain because I couldn’t. You know, I felt I couldn’t do it properly. I could only, you know, like I was just saying and that sometimes that causes a fair bit of chagrin.But generally, artistic things helped and also my mum was, all throughout this time, my mum was absolutely brilliant, you know. It was great. Looking after me and being understanding and helping me in various ways and she was and I don’t think I would have survived if it had not been for her, you know. So that and also my dad helped and friends.
Tom's psychiatrist recommended the book 'Coping with Schizophrenia'.
Tom's psychiatrist recommended the book 'Coping with Schizophrenia'.
On the internet, I only I’ve [pause 5 seconds] fairly good. I mean Wikipedia and things like that, you know, and fairly good. You know, I like Wikipedia. I think it’s very good so but it was it tended to be factual and less about coping with schizophrenia.And more about, you know, what it is and what the symptoms are but less about how, if you’re suffering from the illness how to cope with it.How to best cope with it and how to live with it and stuff like that.
Tom was given chlorpromazine in hospital; this lessened the voices a bit, but was very sedative.
Tom was given chlorpromazine in hospital; this lessened the voices a bit, but was very sedative.
Tom has been taking many medications over the years and has experienced physical and psychological side effects.
Tom has been taking many medications over the years and has experienced physical and psychological side effects.
And for the first few years, after my diagnosis, I went from medication to medication to changing, always changing round and I had some really bad ones.
]Some but this and it was some while before I was what I can, good medication, which is which is what I’m on, which is what I’m on now because I think it hadn’t come out at the time that I was ill. It hadn’t, you know, they just it had only come out a year or so after I was ill so I as soon, which can and does happen, you know, they. And it’s a much, which it was a much better one and it it’s the one I’m taking now. Which is called sulpiride, which, which is fine, you know, which is which I’m quite happy with, you know, but I did have to go, I had to try a few of the old the old fashioned ones. Before then which had a lot of quite horrendous side effects for me, you know, in particular.
And what are the side effects?
Well, one with this medicine called depixol. I was very tired all the time, very drowsy, very zonked out, you know, very medicated sedated. And also strangely enough, my throat constricted. The muscles in my throat constricted so it made it very difficult to speak. So I could hardly speak. It was and I tried to speak and it sounded awful, you know, it just like it sounded like someone was strangling me and I was trying to talk at the same time. So that that made me very wary of company and so I spent I spent a lot of those, I was on it for a couple of years, spent a lot of that time, [sniffs] you know, not, previously to my illness I’d been, you know, quite sociable and going out a lot and that kind of thing but that all went by went out the window. And also there was that and also, I’m not sure if this was my illness itself or a combination of the illness and the medication, or what, but what they call what the psychologists call affect. So I couldn’t laugh, smile I had to, you know, I’d previously been quite a humorous person but I’d lost all of that. Which also made me wary of going into company, you know. Because I was I was also a bit scared of as soon as I’d start talking to someone they’d realise I was I was mentally ill. Also there was all there was all of that, which was which was really difficult but things improved eventually with the new medication that that had just come out in about, I think it was ‘93 or ‘94. Which I which I went on. Things did get better but that problem with my speech which, you know, which I had no help from the psychiatrist didn’t refuse to believe it was a recognisable.
But things generally improved, yeah, with trying new medicine and that and that and that’s always the hope for people who have schizophrenia. That’s all, you know, that if they if they think there’s no hope there is because, you know, science and medical science is, hopefully, although I know it’s not funded as well as it should be. Mental health and but, you know, medicine I do, you know, I’ve had direct experience of medicines getting better over the years. And these things can happen, you know, and I’m holding out hope for there being an even better one coming out soon.
Tom found therapy expensive and unhelpful, and thinks that CBT is mainly used for depression and that there is not much a therapist can do with schizophrenia.
Tom found therapy expensive and unhelpful, and thinks that CBT is mainly used for depression and that there is not much a therapist can do with schizophrenia.