Devon - Interview 22

Age at interview: 52

Age at diagnosis: 22

Brief Outline: Devon was always into music from a young age, but when in a successful reggae band he had a breakdown, was admitted to hospital and diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Music gave him hope, and eventually he founded the highly successful music project 'Sound Minds' in South London

Background: Chair of Sound Minds, musician and actor, married with one child, 23. Ethnic background African-Caribbean

More about me...

From a very young age, Devon was into music. He went to a comprehensive school and formed a band in assembly. He said his mental health problems started ‘way back’ and were born out of creativity and needing to get his creativity out. He was born in Jamaica and then moved to the UK but ‘things were hard’. After he left school it was hard and he couldn’t find work and was unemployed for many years. He used to look forward to going to the club on a Friday and playing his guitar. He says that his mind ‘wasn’t settled’ and that he wanted his music to be perfect, like chasing the moon.

 

Devon helped found a band called The Investigators, which had a number one in the reggae charts, but shortly after had a breakdown and went to hospital, so couldn’t continue. However, music gave him hope and was a ‘driving force’ when he was in hospital. Devon was a Rastafarian at one time, and part of the Rastafarian scene. He describes the period before he went into hospital as one of the happiest times of his life. One day his Mum invited him for tea, and he was seen by a doctor and then sectioned by the police. He trusted his Mum and his favourite aunty who was there, and went along with the police. When he was in hospital he thought he was all right but the doctors were asking him if he was hearing voices when he wasn’t. He didn’t know what psychosis was. He asked a night nurse to be released as he felt they had made a mistake, but she alerted the security staff and he was wrestled to the floor and given an injection of a tranquiliser. They accidentally overdosed him and he remained unconscious for four days. The hospital did not tell his parents about the incident. After that they gave him medication which affected him severely, and he was unable to walk, having to move around on all fours. In later years he realised that he was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic, and also realised that he was still grieving over the death of the grandmother who had brought him up in Jamaica.

Devon now sees a positive side to mental illness, and regards it differently from the way he thinks the older generation see it, as “violence needing heavy medication”. He feels that it can be positive. After a while Devon responded to the medication in hospital and went home to sleep at his mum’s place and attend a day hospital to do art and art therapy, as well as music. He quite liked this, and the community feel. After that when he was getting better he went to a community day centre and also liked this as they were ‘progressing on together’.

 

Devon then volunteered at a project doing music workshops in schools, and started living in his own flat and going to college. After a while he felt he didn’t need his medication and stopped taking it, but unfortunately got ill again. He went into hospital and responded to medication, although Modecate used to give him severe side effects, such as shuffling and dribbling. After becoming heavily involved in a local church, Devon was approached by senior occupational therapists from the trust that was looking for a space to do music. He knew of a space in the Methodist mission and that was how ‘Sound Minds’ started. Sound Minds is now a highly successful, influential and innovative user-led music project for people who have experienced mental health problems. He also started to act as an advocate for black and minority ethnic people on wards and helped found Canerows and Plaits, which provides advocacy and care for BME people on mental health wards. Devon now concentrates on music, Sound Minds, acting and advocacy. He puts his recovery down to many things' getting involved with the local church, taking medication (Depixol depot injections), being creative, keeping himself healthy, sleeping properly, and eating properly.

 

Devon also took part in the Healthtalkonline website on Mental health' Ethnic minorities experiences to visit this website and see more of Devon’s story click here.

 

 

Music has always seen Devon through difficult times. 'Music relaxes and makes you feel good' is the message Devon has tried to spread through the 'Sound Minds' charity.

Because the music’s given me hope for the future. And that’s what I hold on to. The music and the acting actually. Yes, you know, I enjoy both and both helps me a lot therapeutically. Yes, I’ve fought back to put my hope on. If anything comes, if the worst comes to the worst my music will see me through, because you know, as long as I’ve got the energy and the strength I always be playing music. Because that’s what, from the beginning I said, well let’s go, my headmaster said you can go the special needs school across the road, and entertain the people with special needs. I’m still doing it through disability up to this stage, using my music, yes. And it helps me as well. When I’m playing for people it helps me as well. Especially if I ask, if I ask people afterwards, “How do you like that?” And its, “It was cool.” It makes me feel good. It makes me feel like I’ve done something, you know, and then it makes me feel good, so then we all feel good. Yes. It’s amazing.

 

It is really yes.

 

It’s not music therapy. It’s just normal music. But it’s therapeutic. Sometimes we’ll come home from work, you know, you go home, you’ve had a bad day, put a CD on, relaxing but you just listen to it. It relaxes your mind. It relaxes you, yes. So that’s how I see it. Sound Minds. Because what we can offer you, the music, you listen to it, and it helps you relax your mind. Makes you calmer. And when you listen to reggae music, just the pulsating beat of the drum and the base, it’s like a hypnotic thing. So you listen to it, and you listen to the rhythm. It helps your mind. It’s like its helping your mind, healing you. That beat. That rhythm. You know. And making the voice come, the melody like. And you get the voice on top of you, oh sweet, it relaxes your mind and makes you feel physically, well it makes you want to dance to it. That’s what a lot of people phone up for the reggae band, because when we play the music it makes you dance. It makes you listen to it, and it makes you feel happy. Yes. It’s a good thing. And basically that’s what I said, I called myself the wounded healer because I use the music as a form of, of therapeutic form, through the music yes. Especially my drumming. When I’m drumming I think it’s a gift. When I’m drumming the drums just take over and they start to ride the music, and the people say, “oh Devon. I love your drumming.” But I don’t think it’s just me. There’s a spirit within me, I think it’s a gift. I… which I never thought I had before, but it seems to be like it’s helping people and it’s helping myself. Yes. I think that’s how Sound Minds came around Yes. It’s amazing. It’s unique. It is yes, yes.

Devon had broken down while grieving for his granny and not looking after himself. He thinks that this and not paranoid schizophrenia caused his breakdown.

What it was when I was squatting homeless in Battersea, before my brother found me. Before I came to this country, I lived with my Gran in Jamaica. She brought me up till I was five. No till I was seven, until I came to this country. But she died, but I didn’t realise, I didn’t grieve it at the time. Until later years I realised and I broke down when I was squatting with my friends. I was crying to myself. I realised Gran had died. And that’s what caused it. It wasn’t no paranoid schizophrenic. I was grieving and they didn’t really understand it. I didn’t understand it either until later years. But that’s what the problem was. It was paranoid schizophrenia. I was grieving my granny’s death. I didn’t know what to call it, and they didn’t realise there was a bereavement. They thought I was hearing voices. I did hear my inner self. My inner self. Because I’ve not always eaten. I was unemployed, homeless, and most of the days I was buying chips. Fish and chips mostly and eating that. Weekends I used to go partying, drinking, smoking, not eating. Because as I said, Granny died, I don’t care now happens to me. My Mum’s having a go at me, I don’t care what happens to me. I was rebelling against my family. Because Gran died, you know. And then I destroyed myself really, by not eating, not sleeping properly, being homeless and unemployed. And that’s what brought me down. It was not paranoid schizophrenia. I wasn’t a danger to myself or any other person. Any one could tell you, I’m tall. But I’m not aggressive person. I talk quietly, I’m not a, I don’t cause problems really. So that’s what happened, yes. 

Devon's keyworker helped him get a place of his own, and got him involved in some community work in which he could use his skills as a musician again.

And it was that time, I was still having problems with my Mum actually, because my hair was still long, and she couldn’t cope with that. So I said to my key worker at the time, “Can you help me to get my own place.” So, the local housing for people with mental problems and they found me a flat in Battersea. So I moved in there, and I lived there for a while, and at that time, my key worker, who was my psychiatric nurse. Community psychiatric nurse. Used to come and give me my medication. And then what happened is, he said to me, “Devon, I know you used to be a musician with some of these black guys didn’t you in the community before you got ill?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “I’m bringing you to a place in Balham, where some of these guys black guys, they’ve just left prison and I want you to start running some music sessions with them. 

 

So he took me to this place, a hostel in Balham. I met the warden and then he said to me, “Would you like to do some voluntary work here?” I said, “I don’t mind.” So he said, “I’ll introduce to some of the residents we have here.” So he took me up to this bedroom, and I could some of the black guys had pen knives. Flicking like this. They were bad guys and they were flicking like that, and looking at me that they would stab me with them. But I wasn’t afraid, because I used to that sort of ghetto, with that sort of attitude, you know.

 

Anyway, so they arranged for me to go to the local school and run a music session with them, and I used to come in of a morning, wake them up, tell them to go for breakfast. Sometimes I would take down to the Social Security to sort their benefits out and then after that we would come back to the hostel, and have something to eat. Then we go into the school and do some music workshop. 

 

Devon started doing a course and felt that he didn't need medication anymore, so he stopped and became ill again.

Then the warden there, said if I wanted to go and do a course, to do youth and community work. So they got me on a course doing youth and community work at the [name of institute]. So I did that for two years and then I was on my way to do my exams to be a youth and community worker, but what happens was, at that time I wasn’t living with my Mum. I was in my own flat in the community, which the mental health nurse got for me with the warden and with the Day Centre organising. 

 

So I lived there and I was at college. But what happened was that was my own fault, I thought, oh Devon, you don’t need no more medication, you’re at work, and you’ve college, and you’re doing this. So I stopped my medication. I didn’t take it any more. And then I got ill again.

 

So the nurse realised that, and he said, “Devon you’ve got to go back to hospital.” So they took me back to hospital again and I went back on the wards again. But the same thing happened, after being on the ward for a while, I responded to treatment again. So they said you can leave after a while. And then I went back to day hospital and then after doing that I went back to my Mum’s place, no back to my Mum’s place, then back in the community again. And that was in 1983. And I’ve never been back to hospital since. o that’s my early years.

Devon first became involved with the church when a minister from Africa asked in a church service if anybody wanted to be prayed for.

So, tell me about your local church?

 

Oh yes, I got involved with the local church after leaving the hospital, after leaving hospital and I went to the Day Centre and that closed down. And not much doing then. So what it was, I was in my flat, I was in the flat for a long time, day in, day out, nothing to do, you know, I didn’t want to go to the local resource centre because that’s all they do, is sit there, and give you a meal, and play scrabble and cards, that weren’t no good for me. 

 

Anyway what it was it was really raining heavily, and the wind was blowing one, one Christmas and the place was dark. I looked through the windows, darkness everywhere. I was thinking this is it, this is hell. Anyway I screamed out of the flat, I said, “Someone help me.” This is true. And not long, the next day the Minister from the local church came round selling calendars. And he said to me, if he was going to see me in church on Sunday. And I said, “Of course I’ll come to church.” I only said that because he’s a minister. Anyway I bought the calendar anyway.

 

And the funny thing is I said to myself afterwards, I said, Hang on Devon, there’s only one person that can help you, and it must be God. Because the doctors can’t help me. Because I’m still the same. So I said, let trying going to church and see if it’s any different. So the next Sunday came and I went to his church, but I never went in. I didn’t have the bottle to go in. I went up to the door. Oh no. So I went straight back home. And then I tried again a couple of weeks after that. And I went in this time. And I felt ashamed. As soon as I got in there people were nice to me, yes, people were nice. They said, “Hello. How are you.” Shook my hand. I’ve never seen that for a long time, you know, and they said, “Oh you’ll be fine.” And they I start singing hymns and they were preaching. But I remember at the end of the service, there was a minister from Africa there that Sunday, and he said, “Anyone who wants to be prayed for, come to see me at the end, at the end of the service.” So at the end I went up to see him, and I said, “Oh can you pray for me, I’ve got mental health problems.” So he took me downstairs into a little vestry room. And the local minister was there. Both of them came in and I told them what happened to me. How I got mental health problems, and they both laid their hands on me. On my head and prayed for me. And they said, “Will you give your life to Jesus Christ tonight.” I said, “Yes.” And I gave my life to Christ there and became a Christian.

Devon talks about the people who come to Sound Minds to make music, and says they wouldn't go to...

Every single person that comes to Sound Minds have changed. I’ve seen it [claps] important everyone’s changing. They become more, I would say, it breaks down social inclusion. Because many of these people that come into Sound Minds they’re got long term mental health problems. They don’t want to go to day centres. They don’t want to go to other resources. They all want to come to Sound Minds. Because music is what gives them sort of satisfaction. Stimulates their mind, and makes them creative more, and they start writing songs. They write their own songs. There’s about five, I play, I play drums, you know, with five different bands here. And all five bands the members will write the songs. No one told them how to write music or write songs. They just used their own gift, their own talent it’s true and the songs are beautiful. Excellent stuff. Excellent music. That’s the time people ring us up. “Can we have Channel One Band playing at our event please?” “Can we have the jazz band at the …?” It’s amazing, and they all get paid to do the gigs. It is value, we’ve got money in our pocket. So we don’t have to go and buy chicken or some of us go to the corner shop and buy chicken and chips, you know, but some of them set themselves up in doors and start buying proper food and cooking it. That brings satisfaction to them, but makes them more healthier. You see them going to the local chippie and buying chicken and chips. It’s amazing what Sound Minds turned out to be.