Cat - Interview 25

Age at interview: 45

Age at diagnosis: 29

Brief Outline:

In her teens Cat thought people were laughing at her, and later in her 20s was referred to a psychiatrist. She felt people were 'whispering' and 'plotting'. Cat has been admitted to hospital twice as a voluntary patient. Now she lives in a flat, does evening classes and has a support worker to help in practical ways.

Background:

Cat is Unemployed, single and has no children. Ethnic background' White English.

More about me...

Cat was having problems in her teens, but didn’t know what they were and used to think people ‘were laughing at [her]’. When she went to university she asked if the lecturers had heard any rumours about her. In 1995 she left her place of work suddenly as she thought there was ‘plotting’ going on, and then when visiting her Mum she couldn’t get around a supermarket. Cat’s mum thought she should get help so she went to see her GP, who referred her to a psychiatrist. Cat says that she used to be depressed but isn’t now, though she still thinks that there is ‘some […] whispering going on’ that makes her feel ill ‘in the head and in the gut’. Particular situations make her feel unwell, such as being on the bus. She found the first psychiatrist she saw ‘pompous’, but the second ‘seem[ed] to know her stuff’. This was particularly relieving since in Cat’s family there have been two cases of medical negligence. Through this psychiatrist she has accessed CBT which she said helped her a lot. The first psychiatrist she said, used to say ‘double the dose’ but didn’t give you any ‘concrete guidance’; the second has ‘helped [her] a lot. She ‘forces herself’ to go to the GP surgery as they are quite ‘kind’, but she is suspicious of the receptionist. Currently she is on Clozaril but in the past she has been on Sulpiride, Flupenthixol and Prozac.

 

Cat used to live in a hostel for nine years and got ‘so paranoid’, but now she has got a flat with the help of her psychiatrist. She talks to the psychiatrist about ‘voluntary work and family issues’ as well as ‘a variety of things’. She lives in a big city, close to her sisters; with home she has a fluctuating relationship. Cat was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, and she ‘suspects they’ve got it right’ as she does sometimes ‘feel peculiar in the head’. She sees that it is triggered by stress, low mood, and thinking that someone is going to harm you or you’ll harm yourself. Sometimes she finds it very difficult to leave the flat, particularly at the weekends when it’s busy. Cat has been into hospital twice, both times as a voluntary patient. She found it ‘ok’ but was suspicious of a couple of staff. Before this time she was seen by the crisis team, who tried to help her out of her ‘psychosis’ and to talk to her family. When the team saw her she was paranoid and her flat was full of newspapers.

Cat first found out information about mental health through a Good Housekeeping magazine at a local library. She thought at this point she had depression. Before becoming unwell she didn’t have much knowledge of psychiatry, but thinks now she should have gone to see a psychiatrist earlier in her teenage years. She went to a drop-in centre, and attended some workshops on depression which were ‘quite good’. She doesn’t have much to do with the general public, who may be ignorant of mental health issues, but has found that if you stay ‘within the mental health area’ then you can expect people ‘should be educated and informed’.

 

Cat goes to the local gym to lose weight and because she has ‘a lot of time of [her] hands’. She has some friends nearby, does evening classes, and goes to the theatre from time to time. She has found her friends quite supportive, and they help her with day-to-day tasks as well. Occasionally she misses going to activities, and would talk to her psychiatrist about it. She thinks that having a good doctor, supportive friends, her own flat and her interests are important in her ‘mending’. She thinks recovery means that you are ‘able to function, hold down a job, [have] relationships and a home life’. She feels she is ‘not very near’ those goals and she feels quite paranoid. Cat has a support worker, who helps her with ‘practical things’ like going to the shops and in ‘just small ways’ but ‘helpful’ ones. Cat encourages people who have been diagnosed with schizophrenia to get information about it, because ‘once you’ve got knowledge about your situation then you’re empowered’. Then you will know you’re not ‘imagining it’, and it may be a ‘relief to know what the symptoms are’. She suggests putting all your thoughts on paper before your appointment.  

Cat felt in her teens that people were talking about her. She left her place of work suddenly as she thought people were 'plotting' and then collapsed in a supermarket.

Well looking back I had problems in my teens, but I didn’t know what it was and I used to think people were laughing at me, and following me, and I thought they were telling stories. And when I was doing my law degree many, many years ago I asked one of the lecturers if there were some stories going around about me, and he said, “No, it’s in your imagination. “ And I still think that there’s something going on, but when I ask, challenge people they say, “Don’t get paranoid. Go and see a doctor.” So that’s it really. And I didn’t get help until at least in Easter 1995 because I was left place of work suddenly because I thought plotting was going on and then I was playing in an orchestra and I thought that there was like rumours being passed round, and it got to the stage that when visiting my Mother in Gloucester, at the family home, I just couldn’t get round Tescos. Almost collapsed and my Mother said, “You should come to help.” And I said, “Look, I don’t feel very well.” So anyway I went to see my GP there, the family GP and he sent, he referred me to psychiatric doctor and the rest is history just… 

Cat joined a gym as people had advised her to lose weight and she had 'a lot of time on her hands'.

You were saying before that you were going to the gym a bit and so on. Is that something you’ve done for a while now or …?

I started in December. I haven’t been to the gym for about three weeks, because it’s been so hot. It made me feel faint in the sun and like direct sunlight. And then I went on holiday for ten days. So now, once this week has finished I go on Monday next week. I’ll go then. And then continue. I was going five times in a week.

But it’s just, yes, I just procrastinate and I just think there’s something else I have to do, you know. Do one thing and then do something else.

And why did you start going to the gym?

Because I’m about fifteen stone and people were asking me when I was going to lose weight. I had a lot of time on my hands, and that seemed like a good idea really.

And have you enjoyed it or …?

Some of it’s a chore really, you know. But I like some of the machines more than others, so …

What types of exercise suit you best?

Well there’s a machine where you just lie back and you just raise your leg up like that and I find that really good. And I can close my eyes while I’m doing it. I find that quite relaxing to do. I do that twice. And then there’s a treadmill and then there’s cycling and you know, knees and your legs and various leg raises, stomach crunches. Yes.

And have you noticed any difference with your mental health after you started going to the gym or …?

Yes, sometimes I feel better, you know. Yes.