John P - Interview 25
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John P was having a shower and happened to look in the mirror and thought that his right nipple seemed smaller and flatter than his left nipple. He checked it again a few days later but said he didn’t take too much notice of it ‘being a male’. In retrospect he thought there was some discharge which had made his nipple slightly dry and crusty.
One of John's nipples became flatter. He showed his wife, who worked in a hospital and had met a man with breast cancer. In retrospect, he realised there had been some discharge.
One of John's nipples became flatter. He showed his wife, who worked in a hospital and had met a man with breast cancer. In retrospect, he realised there had been some discharge.
Well my story, I think it’s a little bizarre in a way, Kate the problem as I call it, started, I call it a problem because breast cancer was the furthest thing from my mind when the problem, as I call it, started. I was in the bathroom, stripped off for a shower or something, and I happened to look in the mirror and I thought, ‘that right nipple, it seemed to be slightly smaller and flatter than the other one’. But, being a male I took no notice. Two or three days later, another look, I said honestly I took no notice whatsoever. I don’t know what was going on inside my brain, what I thought it was, I haven’t got a clue. Anyway a few weeks passed, and I said to my wife one night, we were getting undressed ready to go to bed, and I says, “Look at that nipple compared with that one”. And, “Oh my God” she said “you need that checked out”. [name] works at the hospital so she, you know. So being a male, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ok love ok”.
John's wife and daughter both knew men could get breast cancer and encouraged him to see his GP. They made sure the nurse saw his nipple when he went for a routine blood pressure check.
John's wife and daughter both knew men could get breast cancer and encouraged him to see his GP. They made sure the nurse saw his nipple when he went for a routine blood pressure check.
The next morning she says, “John I’m telling you, you need to get that checked just to be on the safe side”. “Yeah, yeah, yeah”. Anyway what I didn’t know was, she’d told my daughter, and a couple of nights later, a lovely summer’s evening, I was out cutting the back lawn. And I’d got my shirt off, and my daughter came down the back path and, straight away she said, “Dad, that wants looking at,” she says “because I’m telling you straight men can get breast cancer as well as women”. So I says, “Yeah ok love, ok”. Anyway she kept on to me all that night, “Dad are you going to go to the doctors and have that looked at?” I said, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah”. And I’ll tell you a funny story attached to this part, in a moment… So, a couple of more weeks probably passed and they kept on to me and I have to go to the GP’s surgery periodically to have my blood pressure checked. So the practice nurse, I said to my wife and my daughter, I says, “To keep you two quiet, I says next time I go to see the nurse, I’ll show her see what she thinks”. Anyway a few weeks later I had to go for a blood pressure check, and, the nurse, smashing girl, you know “you ok, blah blah blah ok”, “yeah” I says, “When you’ve taken my blood pressure I want to show you something see whether it’s worth bothering the doctor with”.
So anyway she took me blood pressure you know, that’s fine. She’s now “what’s the problem?” So I undid me shirt and I says, “Look at that nipple compared with that one”… So she says, “Well ok” she says, “Jump up on the bed” and she pressed and what you called it, (cough) – and I’ll never forget she says “John” she says “I think to be safe we’ll get the doctor to have a look at that, just to be on the safe side”. And it still never registered big time that it was something serious you know. I think I thoroughly expected the doctor to say, you know, that’s, that’s fine that’s no problem. Anyway she made an appointment to see my GP, [name of GP] and I went a few days later. And she, you know she says, “You’re a bit concerned about one of your nipples John” she says “Let me have a look”. She had a look, up on the bed, pressed you know, felt, by this time, the nipple had gone a little bit on the hard side compared with the other one, but it still no. So anyway she says “John” she says, “to be safe, I think we’ll send you to the hospital and get the hospital to have a look at that”. So I says, “Ok [name of GP] ok”. Anyway she says, “I’ll see to it and the hospital will be in touch with you”. Anyway I was home about two hours from the GP’s surgery and the telephone rang and it was the hospital. “Mr (Name) you saw your GP this morning”. So I said, “Yes that’s right”. She said, “Well I’ve got an appointment for you”. And then something just slightly, I thought well, ‘My God that’s very quick, you know for a hospital, normally you make an appointment and you don’t see anyone for six months or something like that’. Ok, fair enough.
So anyway she gave me the appointment, and it still never registered with me, this sounds bizarre as I say, I don’t know what was going on in my mind, certainly not breast cancer, and my wife did say that she says “John,” she says “you know, are you prepared for what you might be told at the hospital?” “Hmmm” you know. So anyway the appointment came around and we went to the hospital, saw the surgeon, he examined me and I went for a core biopsy and mammogram, what you ladies have. And he said, you know, “Ok we’ll be in touch with you”. The following week I went back and it was then that one of the consultants said, “We’ve examined your core biopsy and we’ve found that some of the cells are cancerous”. And it wasn’t until then that … ‘I have breast cancer’. And I’ll be quite honest I just bit my lip and looked at my wife and… I didn’t know what to think or say, or, or anything.
John described his hot flushes and night sweats as a 'pain in the bum' but said they were not a major problem for him. He also wondered if tamoxifen had made him gain weight.
John described his hot flushes and night sweats as a 'pain in the bum' but said they were not a major problem for him. He also wondered if tamoxifen had made him gain weight.
I’m on tamoxifen.
John had mixed feelings about telling people. Sometimes he thought people were embarrassed and felt sorry and uncomfortable. Sometimes he wished he hadn't said anything.
John had mixed feelings about telling people. Sometimes he thought people were embarrassed and felt sorry and uncomfortable. Sometimes he wished he hadn't said anything.
But I have… mixed feelings telling other people actually.
John always made a point of saying he had male breast cancer, otherwise he thought other people might think they had misheard him.
John always made a point of saying he had male breast cancer, otherwise he thought other people might think they had misheard him.
And earlier on you were saying about your friend who’d felt more comfortable about calling it chest cancer and you had to... men’s breast cancer and use the phrase male breast cancer. Some people have, some of the men that we’ve talked to have not liked the term male breast cancer because they think well, nobody says female breast cancer, so why should you say male breast cancer, but I wondered if you had any views about you know what…?
John had a shock when he first saw his scar and still feels a bit different at times because he only has one nipple, but he thinks it must be devastating for a woman to lose a breast.
John had a shock when he first saw his scar and still feels a bit different at times because he only has one nipple, but he thinks it must be devastating for a woman to lose a breast.
We touched on the subject once about reconstruction and I think the nurse said, “I’m not sure whether they do much for men John anyway” she said, “I’m sure if you ask they probably could”. But I wouldn’t bother Kate. To me that’s more surgery. And it’s not as though I’m a young fella you know, I’m not running round on a beach six months out of the year, you know. I certainly wouldn’t bother with that you know.