KJ
KJ has had recurrent thrush since her teenage years. Recurrent thrush has impacted her mental health, gender identity, and sex life. She self-manages the condition using over-the-counter medication and clothing choices.
KJ (she/her) is a straight, gender fluid person. She lives with her husband and works as a cleaner. Her background is white British.
More about me...
KJ has had recurrent thrush since she was a teenager. Her symptoms have included heavy discharge, itching, burning, and pain. KJ said “it felt like my bits were on fire”. Over time, KJ has found that the intensity of thrush has calmed down, but it occurs more frequently, every few months.
KJ reflected on how fashion trends of the 90s, such as scratchy nylon underwear and the “teeniest-tiniest little thongs”, were not helpful for vaginal health. In her mid-20s, KJ started to embrace her masculine side more and switched to breathable cotton underwear which helped with reducing thrush. Recognising the role that clothing can play with recurrent thrush, KJ chose to wear looser clothes instead of restrictive leggings or jeans which can trigger or worsen symptoms.
During her 30s, recurrent thrush worsened and would appear suddenly and unexpectedly. KJ described it as feeling “here we go again” every time it would crop up.
In terms of healthcare, KJ had seen nurses and had swabs taken that came back positive for thrush. KJ felt that was redirected to the pharmacy to buy medication off the shelf. KJ found that over-the-counter fluconazole tablets would clear thrush symptoms in a few days. She preferred these to pessaries which she found messy to use. She sometimes also used thrush relief cream.
Living with OCD and anxiety, KJ wondered if being in a state of high stress made her more prone to thrush. KJ thought that recurrent thrush found a “prime breeding ground when you’re all hot and flustered”. KJ’s experience with recurrent thrush has been intertwined with other health issues such as vulva eczema (which she manages with a topical steroid), IBS, and thyroid issues.
Recurrent thrush also impacted KJs’ sex life and gender identity. Being gender-fluid and non-binary, KJ expressed that she felt comfortable with her body but not with its biological functions. Penetrative sex could be uncomfortable due to recurrent thrush having a physical and psychological effect. KJ said her husband offered support, empathy, and patience which were key to managing these challenges.
While KJ did not find recurrent thrush “debilitating”, it made it harder perform physically demanding work. KJ said “I’m always sort of aware of it, you know in the back of my mind”.
To manage thrush, KJ has put together what she calls an “apocalypse bag” which carries spare underwear and other items she has found helpful to soothe thrush. She spoke about adapting a “soldier on” mentality which she felt was characteristic of the 80s generation. KJ felt she had to “get on with it”.
KJ has found support among close friends, including those who have had similar experiences. Despite being an open person, KJ has found herself feeling embarrassed talking to a chemist. KJ said she speaks softly about the matter due to feelings of stigma.
While KJ was not offended by the feminine packaging of thrush products, she understood that other non-binary people might struggle more with the marketing of products or with being misgendered.
Looking forward, KJ hopes to learn more about how thrush might affect her in her older years. KJ encouraged other people to not ignore recurrent thrush and to seek out medical help.
KJ explains how recurrent thrush felt during a flare-up.
KJ explains how recurrent thrush felt during a flare-up.
Yeah, and it’s not as severe I think now that... I mean it can be uncomfortable and not nice, but I don’t think... I remember the earlier experiences with thrush being really quite severe and horrible, and really not nice, and really sort of like burning, red raw, split skin, you know really not nice, you know almost like when you just want to stay in bed and you don’t want to go far and you just want to sleep and sort of try and sleep it off and... you know but now I’m sort of obviously... I’ve not had anything that severe, you know a severe episode.
KJ was unsure if menopause would bring relief, but looked forward to her “ovaries packing up” and hoped thrush would stop. At the same time, she expected she would need to keep an eye out for other changes in her vulval and vaginal health.
KJ was unsure if menopause would bring relief, but looked forward to her “ovaries packing up” and hoped thrush would stop. At the same time, she expected she would need to keep an eye out for other changes in her vulval and vaginal health.
I’m looking forward, to be honest, I don’t... I need to do a bit more homework I think about thrush, like in my older years, you know thrush and older women, that you know it would be nice to sort of learn a bit more about that, but I’m looking forward to having the... because I haven’t got kids, I... I know this is... this obviously I... I don’t joke... well, I have joked about it, but I... because I haven’t got kids and stuff, I just want to... like when my ovaries pack up, I’ve said like I just want to throw... and I used to say to my late mother-in-law, bless her, that I’m going to throw a party when my ovaries pack up, because obviously I don’t want kids, so... you know I’m going to you know celebrate not having any you know functioning ovaries anymore, you know I’m not bothered sort of thing, and... and you just... I just kind of want it all to.
You know so... but definitely, I will... you know I’m wise enough to sort of be a lot more vigilant about things going forward, you know especially lady’s stuff down... you know anything related to that. You know when I have obviously the menopause. You know I do believe that I’m going through perimenopause as well at the moment you know because I’m still getting the hot flushes and stuff, you know so I will be looking for signs obviously with that, you know going forward.
KJ discussed speaking quietly with the pharmacist due to ‘all that stigma rubbish in society’ about thrush.
KJ discussed speaking quietly with the pharmacist due to ‘all that stigma rubbish in society’ about thrush.
I think there is a stigma around it, but I’m kind of like... I’m quite an open sort of person, so I’ll just... I’ll just be like... you know I wouldn’t come out loud and go, ‘oh, I’ve got an itchy nu-nu,’ you know like or just say something... you know I’ll sort of... but I won’t think twice about saying... I must admit, when you get to the chemist and you sort of... I always approach a female chemist, and I’m always sort of like quite quiet, so there is... you know and trying to keep it very like: you know [mumbles] ‘I’ve got thrush,’ sort of, very on the down low, you know sort of when I’ve got it, so yeah, I do think there is a... there is a... a stigma there, you know it’s not something you know you can talk about, sort of, there is still that stigma rubbish in society about it, definitely.
KJ described how thrush could start at any time and disrupt events.
KJ described how thrush could start at any time and disrupt events.
The worst is when you’re out and about, that’s the worst, is when you’re in the middle of like... I mean obviously I’ve learnt to deal with it, but you’re at an event or something, and you’re... it starts happening and you’re like, ‘whoa, this is... this is shit,’ and you know like a concert or something like that, and... and you just want to... you know – not great.
KJ found the tablets cleared symptoms quickly.
KJ found the tablets cleared symptoms quickly.
But because it’s kind of like I get it and I know what it is and then I just go and get the medication, I’m able to sort of deal with it then and there and just go, ‘right, okay, I’ve got it, deal with it, get sorted, move on,’ sort of thing you know,
you know I’ve had... you know I’ve been all right in the last few years I suppose just having that slight recurrent episodes where I can just and get a tablet and within a few hours... you know a few days I’m all right, I’m fine, and I just get on with it and I deal with it, and I’m kind of like, I’ll get it and then I just wake up and think, ‘oh, it’s gone,’ you know the tablet’s obviously done its job and I’m all right.
KJ says she is from a generation (born in the 1980s) that just accepts and “soldiers on” with health problems like recurrent thrush.
KJ says she is from a generation (born in the 1980s) that just accepts and “soldiers on” with health problems like recurrent thrush.
I think they were just... I just accepted it I think. I was just like, ‘yeah, yeah, whatever, I’ll just get on with it.’ And you know... I’m coming from that 80s generation of kind of like you just get on with things and you just soldier on and all this like mentality, you know, and I kind of think sometimes that is engrained in me sometimes a little bit. You know I’m not... I mean you see it every day when you... you know when I’m out and about, and in this day and age I just think, ‘God.’ Sometimes I feel really young, you know I’m quite a young 42-year-old, and then I think, ‘oh God, no you’re not,.' Some of the things that you grew up with, you know like this mentality... pardon me, and you just kind of get on with it and soldier on and you just... like I... like I say, when I get it, I just go to the chemist, get the fluconazole and boom, get on with my day and I just think, ‘OK, fine.'