Edward
Edward (played by an actor) and Marella formula fed their first child but are planning to breastfeed their unborn baby.
Edward is White British and does not have HIV. He lives with his wife, Marella, who is living with HIV. They have a two-year-old child, and Marella is eight months pregnant.
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Edward met Marella a number of years ago. Before his relationship with Marella, Edward had not given HIV much thought. Marella gave him a lot of information about HIV and Edward “took it upon myself to kind of learn as much as possible”.
Marella and Edward decided to formula feed their eldest child, because at that time the BHIVA guidelines changes which enable new mothers to breastfeed under certain conditions had just come in. They both agreed that it was all very new, and they did not want to take any risks as they entered new parenthood. But this second time around, with their as-yet-unborn child, Edward feels the information has “flipped”. Edward wants to support his wife’s decision to breastfeed this time. He had enjoyed formula feeding their eldest child, and felt there was “less pressure” on Marella to feed when they formula fed.
Edward felt that his wife being so informed about breastfeeding helped him to support her decision. Edward felt the “appointments with consultants and stuff are so few and far between” to have eased all his concerns about breastfeeding, and the additional information that his Marella gave him helped.
Edward did not know much about HIV before meeting his wife, Marella (played by an actor).
Edward did not know much about HIV before meeting his wife, Marella (played by an actor).
I would say it was something that probably never really crossed my mind until I met my partner and it was, the information was, was given to me quite well and structured by my partner, I think it, it was in one breath quite a shock and the wealth of information that was obviously provided to me because again it was just something I had absolutely no idea, almost to the point, you don’t think it exists, you know, it’s not something you hear about every day and yeah I, very, very quickly learned what was what and I think naturally being quite an inquisitive person I think I sort of took it upon myself to kind of learn as much as possible even outside of the information I was given.
Most of Edward’s information came from his wife, but he also discussed infant feeding with doctors and midwives and was given a document with the latest guidelines (played by an actor).
Most of Edward’s information came from his wife, but he also discussed infant feeding with doctors and midwives and was given a document with the latest guidelines (played by an actor).
A lot of the information was from my partner and since we’ve done the initial bits and pieces we’ve had consultations with the doctor, we had an appointment just last week where this, this whole thing was discussed, that was with our consultant and midwife, and the information that they had, the guidelines were, were again handed to us then but I had already seen those guidelines albeit I can’t sit here and say that I remember everything in there because I think there were quite a few pages to it but we, you know I took them away again and I have read them and will probably continue to read it until the day the baby comes so, yeah [laughs].
Edward and his wife, Marella, have decided to breastfeed their second child, after formula feeding their first, because they are more confident about the low risk this time round (played by an actor).
Edward and his wife, Marella, have decided to breastfeed their second child, after formula feeding their first, because they are more confident about the low risk this time round (played by an actor).
I was shocked at the difference in the information that was being provided and it just, it for me flipped it, it flipped everything on its head because the decision was so quick last time, you know you almost thought well it worked last time can we just, you know, stick with the same process and now we had to make a, a decision, you know, completely against what we did the first time round. So I like a winning formula and the first time was good and we think, you know, why change it. But it’s, yeah, I think once I got like to grips with the information that was being provided and started to look into it and knew, you know, the risks that are still involved, however, you know, the ways of preventing them were, they were clearer and yeah I think it’s very different this time round.
Edward enjoyed being able to bond through formula feeding their first child, but is fully supportive of his wife’s decision to breastfeed their second child when the baby is born (played by an actor).
Edward enjoyed being able to bond through formula feeding their first child, but is fully supportive of his wife’s decision to breastfeed their second child when the baby is born (played by an actor).
One of the things I enjoyed the first-time round was that we could it put less pressure on just one partner to feed the child and for me as the male of a child I thought it was important for me to find at least some way to try and bond with the child when they were younger, so giving the opportunity to bottle feed early doors was quite, was quite helpful. Obviously when it came round to the second one knowing that as my thought process the first time probably took me a little while to be fully convinced I was very much lead by my partner actually saying that it was something that, that she really wanted to try and it didn’t take a huge amount of convincing for me but, you know, it’s one of those things, normally the decision is hers, you know, we make most decisions combined, that sort of decision is hers and if she wants to, she wants to go down that route then I can only fully support it.
And I think, I think what it was, again the impressions that I’ve got from my partner is that we, that she really wants the, again also the nutritional side of it but for her I think it’s the bonding side of it that’s really important this time and I don’t feel that that was lacking the first time round possibly but maybe it will help even more so this time.
Edward felt that it was important for medical staff to share clear information about infant feeding early in pregnancy (played by an actor).
Edward felt that it was important for medical staff to share clear information about infant feeding early in pregnancy (played by an actor).
I feel that if it wasn’t for her knowledge of it I think it would be a very different story, I think if perhaps we both went in as blind as I may have been or as uninformed as, as we were having not been presented with the information, I don’t, I don’t feel like the conversation would have gone the same way, I feel like the appointments with consultants and stuff are so few and far between that it doesn’t, I almost feel like you’re too far down the road before that conversation’s even started to happen and you could already made a decision or if you have made a decision and then you start to learn about it, it makes that decision even harder when I don’t think it should, I think the information should be made a, perhaps a bit clearer at the start.
The nutritional gains of breastfeeding in the early days and stages of a baby’s life were important for Edward (played by an actor).
The nutritional gains of breastfeeding in the early days and stages of a baby’s life were important for Edward (played by an actor).
I do understand that there’s some science behind it. I mean if, if the, the earlier, certainly the earlier stages and the nutrition that they gain from it, from that early days again that, that’s, that for me is obviously an important thing.