Pregnancy

Did you always see the same consultant?

Yes, I always saw the same consultant. Unless he happened to be on holiday which was only once, but I always saw the same consultant, and he was the consultant who made the final, well, the final discussion with, he gave me the final discussion as to the possibility that the baby I was carrying was big in proportion to my hip size and pelvic size and general wellbeing. 

My sugar, blood sugar level started to rise very much towards the end of my pregnancy. It didn't develop into pregnancy diabetes but it was beginning to rise. The baby was growing very rapidly and appeared to be engaged very early on. She was engaged probably a good seven weeks, eight weeks, before I was due, my due date was end of January. And he then started to talk to me about the size of my baby, which I became very concerned about and I was a bit concerned that it might be too much, get stuck and cause brain damage or anything like that, which has happened in our family, sadly. And he advised me to think about the possibilities of having a caesarean and the possibility also of trying natural labour, but in any event that there was any difficulty at all, a caesarean section would be given. But, at that stage, having had a scare, all I wanted was the safe arrival of the baby, and having gone through lots of discussions with my husband, very difficult decision, we did decide to go for an elective caesarean, 14 days before she was, sorry, 21 days before she was due, but I was actually given a caesarean section 14 days after that date. 

So, my baby was born at 39 weeks, and that was fine, no problems at all. I could say to anyone, have no fear, it's a happy time. The hospital were wonderful, you go in, it's all done on the day, the baby arrives safely, very calm, very contented. I was absolutely fine.

Were you disappointed at all not to be able to have a natural labour?

I was disappointed not to have a natural labour, but on the other hand, at the time, you're only thinking of the safety of your baby. I had no idea of the consequences to my health of having a caesarean, and it's a long recovery. It's not a quick snip and, you know, you're out and you're about. It's months of rehabilitation to build up your strength again and your stamina.

Tell me about that. What were you told before the caesarean about what it would be like for you getting over it?

Before I had the caesarean I was given very little information about my after care, my - sorry, what can I say? - recovery. I was given very little information about my recovery, what to expect, what it would be like. I was given every book under the sun, every bit of information about the baby, how it had happened, and the risks and the benefits. But what no-one tells you is, once you're home, quite how difficult it is physically to cope, even though I had 100 per cent support from my family. For three weeks I had constant support, after those three weeks it was still very difficult physically lifting, bending down, putting the washing on, running up the stairs, and you think you can do something, you go to do it, and you just feel a little bit of, ow, no, that's a bit early. In terms of looking after the baby there's no problem; the only difficulty was bathing. But there's very little information still, I believe, in this country, on how you as the mother heal, what happens internally. You have a check at six weeks after the midwives have checked at home, you have a check at six weeks by your local GP and that is it, after major surgery, no-one else has even looked at my scar, felt my internal muscles or anything.

What do you think people need to be told before they have caesareans?

Before women have caesareans they must be given more information. They must be given more information from people like myself and other mothers who can collate an information pack, what to expect when you get home, the benefits of having a caesarean, the downers of having a caesarean. And in the long run it's fine, it really is no problem, but people need to be a little more prepared just how difficult it is for the body to knit. It's a big operation, it is underestimated. Yes, you have a positive result at the end, but if anyone else was having a similar operation such as a hysterectomy, you wouldn't be sent out to work two weeks later, two days later, or anything; you'd have time to heal and mend. I would like to see, myself, alternative therapy given on the NHS for people who've had such operations. I would like to see a choice of massage to tone the muscles again, therapy classes for post-caesarean women. There must be enough women to make a class to strengthen the abdomen and doing things like that, and just to really get people together who've had the same experience and to get your strength back far, far quicker than perhaps if you were unaware of quite how much work is needed.

Okay, so who first broached the idea of a caesarean? Was that you?

Yeah.

Because you were so shattered?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah and, you know, they said, “Oh, you know, you don't have to do that,” blah, blah, blah. The doctor was like quite happy to do it, the doctor who was on duty. He said, “Well, you know, it seems like a sensible idea.” So I mean, so it's difficult, really. I think, I think it was more me that sort of was happy to go with that option really. I mean, and I'm quite happy because, in a way because I sort of feel I was so exhausted, and the thing is you can go for like hours in your birth, but then you've got the next day to face. You, it's not like you've got the next day of just, like, lying in bed and relaxing eating chocolates. You've got actually a baby there. So for me I can sort of see, “Well, he's come out healthy”, and yeah - but then I sort of think, “Oh, maybe I should have gone through the whole birth thing.” But I don't know if there's something in me that would have found that even worse [laughs] to go through or not, and so that's the thing as well. And I think maybe again, maybe being in a hospital - maybe in, if I think about it in hindsight, it was not, probably not the most comfortable atmosphere for me to be in. Maybe being, as I say, being at home for longer, longer would have been better for me in the long run, rather than being in hospital. Even though they were very nice. Because I think I'd have just been more relaxed. As a person, I think I feel more relaxed in my own surroundings, and around strangers and stuff I don't feel like so relaxed. I think maybe, again in a sort of subconscious way for me, that might have affected how I felt in my birth. That might have made it take longer. I don't know if that can happen.

Hmm. Or if these things happen on the, you know what I mean? Does a birth take a long time or are there problems because that's what's going to happen anyway? Or is there stuff that might be sort of happening - subconsciously that might make things sort of a bit more complicated or whatever?

Well, I mean, my waters broke about 9 o'clock on the Thursday evening, and then I was in hospital from that night, all day Friday and it was like, I went down to the labour suite probably about one in the morning on the Saturday morning, and then I was there all day [laughs]. I was there, I was there all day. So it was like, I mean, he wasn't born until about five to six on the Saturday, and I had a caesarean section then. But I just dilated one centimetre. And I wasn't sure, I think I felt a bit demoral-, I think I would have felt happier, because from my perspective I was like in labour from the minute my waters broke, but I don't really, you're not in labour until you're three centimetres dilated, which they didn't tell me till, like, you know, five in the morning on the Friday. 

So - because I had all these contractions for like well over twenty-four hours - so I thought, “Oh well, I'm in labour now”, you know. And they said, “You're in labour now”. And I think that demoralised me a little bit, because I sort of felt like, “Oh my God, I'm only just now in labour. How much longer am I going to have to go on for? I've been in, having contractions for like, you know, thirty hours.” And then, you know, then I was in there for like another twelve hours, and they said, “ Oh, you've dilated by one centimetre - actually it might be slightly less than that,” and like, “How much longer are you going to be here for?” you know. So I think, I mean I do feel now I should have carried on for longer, rather than having the caesarean. And they did say, “Oh, have an epidural and go to sleep” and then things like that, and then sort of, I just thought, “Well, what's the point of having an epidural?” I mean, I don't know. I just, I was so tired, I was sleeping through all the contractions and stuff like that. So a bit of me now feels maybe I should have, like, had the epidural and gone to sleep, and then woken up and seen if I was more progressed. 

And I was worried about the risk of infection. They say after eighteen hours of your waters being broken you have a higher infection risk than if you, than if you have the baby sooner. So that worried me as well, like thinking, “If I have an epidural what would happen there? Go on for another twenty-four hours? Surely this infection risk they keep telling me about, you know, is going to be worse?” and things like that. So I sort of was happy to have a caesarean section.

Was your husband trying to sort of talk to them or get them to do anything?

Yeah, yeah, he was, he kept asking them, you know, what was going on, why was it taking so long, why was I so drugged up? Because I really was a lot of the time drugged up. But he just kept saying that he got no answers, he just really thought that I was going to die, because no-one ever actually explained to him. And it was only when, that, when I, obviously had had him and the paediatrician came out and said to my husband, “Oh, you've got a boy.” And he said, “Oh, that's fine, but what about my wife?” You know, and she went, “Oh, she'll be fine.” But that was the first time he knew that I would be okay, after I'd had him, and so for a day and a half he actually didn't know what was happening to me. So that was quite scary for him, it was, because, as I said to you, there's a lot I can't remember so it, it doesn't seem that scary to me. But obviously to him, it definitely was, because, as I say, 2 weeks later he went and booked himself in for the snip. And that was it, no more children.