Pregnancy

I mean the physical side of things changes, doesn't it? Was that something that concerned you at all or were you both?

No, I think it was more because my husband wanted me and [laughs] I wasn't bothered [laughs]. 

[Laughs] And how did he cope with that then?

He understands, you know, he knows and he understands. And I think what I'd say, as long as you, you have hugs and cuddles and you're nice to each other and, you know, share time with each other and you are loving with each other, then that's more important in that sense, so as long as he gets, you know, as long as you get your cuddles and that, then we're fine.

But I think I'm quite lucky that I didn't have really, really terrible symptoms during my pregnancy. I felt actually the happ-, the healthiest I've been for ages, and mentally I think it made me feel much more stronger than I would normally have felt [laughs]. So yeah -

Tell me about that, feeling stronger mentally, how?

Just like, I mean, for example I do think a lot of people say, “Women and their hormones”. And obviously because I was going through the whole thing of “Do I want to be with my boyfriend or not?” sort of thing, you know, a lot of people think it's just your hormones and stuff. And I do, I do believe that, yeah, your hormones make women more feisty - not feisty, but I think you, you're in a position, my theory is that women when they get, are pregnant, go back to cavewomen mentality. And it's not necessarily a negative thing. It's just that - because I believe that, because for most of the human existence we've actually been living in a kind of stone-age like way, and technology, a technological society for such a tiny time of our existence, that mentally we do revert to a sort of cavewoman thing. So, you know, you want have, you want things to be right. You want to know that when this baby shows up that you're going to be supported and things like that, you know. If things aren't very well in your life you want to make, you want to make sure that it's going to be well, basically. So I think, you know, so I think that's another thing that affects relationships with men generally. I think men are quite quick to say that you're having a “hormonal thing.” “Well, she's hormonal, your hormones are going wild,” and this and that. And it's not. I just feel it's that women actually know what they want more when they're pregnant, and they're quite happy to say what they want when they're pregnant. And instead of actually acknowledging that that's the reality, people are just prepared to say, “You're upset because of your hormones, don't worry”, to keep the status quo, when the reality is that maybe certain things need to be changing, justifiably and realistically, and people don't want to face that, so they just blame hormones.

I read about domestic violence and stuff when I was at university. I did quite a few things about that. And it's been shown that most women who experience physical violence, the first time they're actually hit by their partner is when they're pregnant. That's quite a big time for when a lot of the physical violence starts for women. And I think part of it might be because women do get a bit more feisty. If you're with someone and they're not working or, you know, they're just hanging out with their mates all the time, or something like that - or they're behaving violently or whatever, or they're drinking - you're perhaps more likely to say, “Look, this is the deal,” or whatever. And perhaps, and obviously I think your hormones probably do make you more emotional, but I think that maybe that's the time when women will say, “De, de, de” a lot more, and might - a situation may occur in which a woman gets hit, you know what I mean? And I think there's that. And also I think as well that for a lot of men who haven't had very good childhoods, I think seeing a woman pregnant is a, makes them feel more stressed out than they might do normally. Because obviously if you've got a bad childhood behind you as a man and then you're confronted with a pregnant woman having your baby and then all the pressures that means on you then I think that can make men maybe more aggressive, in their unconscious way. And might lead to stuff like that happening. That's my theory. It's not something that's [laughs] been proven in real life or anything like that.