Martha ' Interview 16
Martha suffered from secondary infertility. After she had her daughter it took 4 years to conceive her son. She needed IVF.
Martha is an American writer, living in Scotland. She is married with two children. Ethnic background' White American.
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Martha got pregnant quite easily with her first child. When her daughter was 14 months old, she and her husband started trying for a second child, but nothing happened. After 6 months she started to worry but waited until a year before going to see her GP. They were told that they would have to wait two years before referral, but she managed to persuade them to start with a few hormone tests. She was finding infertility very difficult to cope with, and so after a few months more went for some private investigations. Her husband’s work insurance covered their initial tests, although not the fertility treatment itself. The tests could not find anything wrong, so Martha was given the diagnosis of unexplained infertility. At two years after starting to try for a child, they went to see a private clinic about IVF, and still had to wait a further six months to be seen. In the meantime they tried Clomid, which gave Martha horrible side effects, and did not work. At the clinic they initially tried IUI, but she hyperstimulated. They next tried an IVF cycle, but Martha was put on the same dose of drugs, and hyperstimulated again. However, doctors decided to collect some of the eggs and fertilise them, and then froze them. They had to wait a few months for the hyperstimulation to abate, and then got pregnant with their son with the first frozen embryo transfer.
Martha felt that her GP did not give them enough time when she went to see him with concerns...
Martha felt that her GP did not give them enough time when she went to see him with concerns...
Martha had conceived easily with her daughter but had difficulty when she started trying for a...
Martha had conceived easily with her daughter but had difficulty when she started trying for a...
Martha found that people couldn't really believe there was a problem with her fertility because...
Martha found that people couldn't really believe there was a problem with her fertility because...
Well it was horrible. It was completely awful. And I mean I am not someone, I suppose I am not someone who deals with uncertainty very well anyway. And I think that just really pretty quickly into it, it got to be quite a big thing, especially for me, you know, to have people saying, “Oh well.” This is the thing, as everybody, especially as you have got one. Everybody’s reaction is, “Oh you have had one. There is nothing wrong.” You know, and they somehow assume, may be this is putting too much on people for me. But to me it felt like people somehow assuming that you must be doing something wrong. Because there is no way that this couldn’t be happening because you already have a child. So yes. So I mean it is not only that it is sort of a problem for what going on for you, but you are not getting an awful lot of support, at least I wasn’t from, you know, anybody else either, so… yes.
It was difficult to go through infertility treatment while also looking after a young child.
It was difficult to go through infertility treatment while also looking after a young child.
Martha had secondary infertility; a prescription for clomiphene was the first step. She found the...
Martha had secondary infertility; a prescription for clomiphene was the first step. She found the...
Martha was hyperstimulated with the drugs given to her for her IUI and found it was even worse...
Martha was hyperstimulated with the drugs given to her for her IUI and found it was even worse...
So I phoned up the ward, and they were great. You have to come up here. I don’t mind coming up here, but it was quite late at night and they said, “Okay. You can go down to Borders. The local hospital. So I did go there and basically they couldn’t do anything. They just sort of watched and made sure I didn’t get worse and it didn’t get worse and so I just kind of stayed where I was for a couple more days until they did the egg collection and then even after that, they do the egg collection, for a while you feel better because all the stuff has sort of been drained out. And then it all fills up again and so it takes weeks to go away. And the reason why they won’t, apparently why they won’t do they, they won’t transfer the embryo if you have had that, is because if you actually got pregnant after that you would end up really, really, ill for kind of several months, whereas if you let it go away and subside and whatever then ultimately it goes back to normal. So yes…. it is pretty horrific yes.
Martha found it incredibly frustrating to be up against something that she could not find a way...
Martha found it incredibly frustrating to be up against something that she could not find a way...
I think also because I am quite [huh] really I am quite driven and quite sort of self motivated. I’m a writer you don’t have to be like that you are working by yourself every single day, to do something, and I am just like that. I am someone who I never quite, I never really take no for answer. And if somebody tells me, “Oh that is not possible.” I am like, “Oh yes, it is.” And that is kind of my attitude towards most things when I think generally it has been true in my life. You know, there has been a way through almost everything. As long as you kept at it, and you know, you stuck to it. And I suppose in the end that is borne out too, you know, here because I did have [son]. But at the time I wasn’t looking at it that way obviously because I wasn’t on the other side of it. And what I just kept thinking was, I can’t believe that I am up against something that I can’t actually find a way around. you know, that was always hard. It was like, because suddenly you are faced with something that you can’t do anything about. There is nothing. You can’t control it. you know, there is nothing you can do. There is nothing, or you know you can try and for a while you do all these weird things and you are eating this and taking that and this is all before you are getting any sort of real medical treatment. Going to acupuncture, going to reflexology. You know, and you think there has got to be a way, one of these things, and everybody tells you oh this will work, that will work. And you could spend all day doing these things and I do think there was a point at some point, I just realised there is nothing I can do to make this happen, like there is nothing more that, you know, that I can do. And I think that was also quite important in that okay this is my cutoff, you know, having this cutoff because I think as long as it was going on I couldn’t stop thinking well there must be something I have missed. There must be something I can do, so yes, in that way, it was quite difficult.
Martha had secondary infertility after her daughter was born. She felt it was important to set a...
Martha had secondary infertility after her daughter was born. She felt it was important to set a...
Martha who had secondary infertility and IVF feels she will never be able to put the infertility...
Martha who had secondary infertility and IVF feels she will never be able to put the infertility...
Martha had no idea what treatment entailed before she started.
Martha had no idea what treatment entailed before she started.
But I realised as I sort of went into it. I had no idea what it entailed at all. And I think, I think it is this thing that is kind of thrown around and people always just assume that there is an option and first of all they assume without any real understanding of how often it doesn’t work, you know for one thing and just the physical and emotional toll it takes on you. You can’t, well I mean I can describe it to you a bit, but I don’t think anybody has, you know, I think generally the way it is portrayed, you know, the way that people sort of view it, nobody has any clue what it is actually like, you know, what it does to you to go through it. I actually think it is quite dangerous. I think it is a dangerous assumption that we all have about it. And again I am not sure that that applies to me specifically because first of all, I never thought I would be going through it, and by the time I was going through it, it was because there wasn’t really much choice. Well there was a choice but there wasn’t a lot of choice if we wanted to do what we wanted to do. But I think ] I there is a danger of it becoming a kind of part of people’s life plan, you know, if I wait to have kids oh and it doesn’t work, oh just have IVF. And it is like, it is not like that, and it isn’t easy and it doesn’t necessarily work and you don’t have any idea what it is going to do to you, you know, or anything. So yes, and I think, not that it would, like I say, it wouldn’t have changed what I did but it also might have been nice to have a bit of an idea of how horrible it could be before I actually went into it, instead of suddenly being in the middle of it, realising how horrible it was.