Immunisation

I guess partially because I've worked in Africa and there are, there's a very low rate of vaccination in the country that I was working in [country] and you know, I saw lots of people with polio for example, you know, they couldn't walk and, and you know, it's such a common occurrence to see someone with polio that you know, “Oh yeah that person has polio, that person has polio.” And, it just, and also, because I was working with, in education for women I also learned that there's so many children, you know, are dying of things like measles and, you know, lots of these preventable diseases so I think that made me quite pro-vaccination, because I, in fact I think vaccinations are miracles.

So I guess for me making the decision to immunise my children wasn't a difficult decision because I think immunisations are wonderful, and, and I know, I know that, that there can be side effects but I think if you look at the statistics of if you didn't get the immunisation and what are the chances of becoming ill with that, of the child becoming ill with that disease, versus if you look at the statistic of if you get the immunisation what is the chance of having a side effect. Then I would think that it's much riskier not to be immunised.

Well, I'm not sure that I, there was really a decision to make. I didn't really waver for very long because I think I just believe that vaccinations are a good thing and that the risks of not having a child vaccinated vastly outweigh the risks of anything that might occur from the, the vaccination. And I think that in everything you do in life carries a certain risk and you've got to live with that really, you can't expect everything you do to be risk free.  

So I, you know, I was aware that there's, there's probably all sorts of research out there claiming that, you know, this side-effect and that side effect but every time we take drugs there are side-effects and people do it all the, all the time. And I think there is a little bit of slight unwarranted fear about injections just because of all the publicity and because of the, particularly obviously around MMR.

And actually for that reason I didn't really do any reading or [laughs] I didn't really want to look into it because I knew if you start looking you'll obviously find people who've written a report saying, link, you know, there's a link with autism or other sort of risks. And I knew I was going to do it anyway so there was no point in frightening myself or focusing on sort of tiny risks when actually the, I knew, you know, that the benefits were gong to massively increase that massively over-ride that. So I didn't really, I didn't really think about it too much.
 

I think this decision is the hardest decision I've had to make as a parent. I only have one son and I had him quite old. I was thirty-eight when he was born. I lived a lot of my life. I've worked and I'd always felt like I, yes, you know, most of the time I know what I am doing. I'm a teacher. I'm not, you know, I'm not a head of department or head of my subject or anything. I'm a jobbing teacher. I like my work. I'm fine thank you very much.

And you have a baby and you haven't got a clue what you are doing. You know, no one can tell you how your life will change. I'm sure every, every new parent's life changes in different ways. And you're constantly having to make decisions about everything' about what time to, to feed; what time to change a nappy; what, should I put him down to sleep; or he is crying should I pick him up and; should I give him the vaccination and, and, I think the first couple of vaccinations were fine because, you know, that's what's done and you've got so many decisions to make. And, and now because he's slightly older and I'm slightly, I mean it's, it's still you know, it's still a minefield being a parent. You are constantly unsure whether you're doing the right thing or not but I'm slightly more sure of what I am doing now. So I can, I can make a decision about this and hopefully feel at the end my decision is, is the right one. I'm feeling more confident as a parent now but it, it is the hardest decision that I've ever had, had to make regarding my son.
 

But it did become, you know, sort of really anxiety-inducing thing for the whole of the first year. And all of my friends who had children that age were, it was kind of, the main topic of conversation was, 'What have you read? What have you seen? Who have you spoken to? Have you got anything that's going to sway it one way or the other?' And I think the hardest thing, particularly with the MMR, was that you felt whatever you did you were endangering your child's sort of well-being. And that's, you know, which was what made it such an incredibly tough decision. Because it wasn't just, 'Is it going to be good for them or not so good for them?' It was kind of like, 'Am I being socially responsible as far as, you know, everybody else goes? And am I risking my child's life and health and all the rest of it in order to be socially responsible? And if I don't immunise, then am I risking my child's life that way round as well?' 

So it was a kind of, you know, it was a really, really big issue. I then basically read everything I could get my hands on and spoke to anybody who could possibly bear to have another conversation about immunisation with me. And in the end I didn't feel that the evidence or the research against it at the time was strong enough to warrant me not doing it. And I, you know, I then thought about having them all done individually, and just thought, 'Actually, I know I'll end up doing half and not doing the other half, and then I might as well not have started in the first place'. So we decided just to go for it and I was holding my breath and praying that it was all going to be all right.
 

And then I think when I came to the booster one at 8 months that was fine, I just went ahead and did it. But I did start to worry after that when the 13 months sort of started to come up that the MMR thing, you know, this whole big debate. So I think basically I did a lot of reading, I spoke to a lot of people, spoke to about three or four different doctors, and I was very, very tempted to go for the single jabs, and I was prepared to pay the money because I was just too, you know, too concerned about the, the link with autism. But then, I don't know what it was, it was almost as if there was something inside me that suddenly just decided to get, to get her done. 

And I'd spoken to a very good private doctor who'd convinced me that actually there was nothing wrong and he would go ahead and do the triple jab. So I went ahead and I booked her in and I got the, the injection done. And then literally the next afternoon at nursery there was a mumps, or was it, no, there was a measles case. And, and I don't know why I, but I just, you know, there was obviously something inside me that I had to do it that particular day, and then the next day this measles case came up. And, and she was, you know, she was fine, she hasn't, she hasn't got it. And so far she hasn't shown any strange behaviour, things towards the, the MMR. So I think in the end I was quite happy that I made the decision because, you know, having measles obviously is ten times worse.
 

So, I talked to my GP, who I've always trusted implicitly. We have a very good relationship. And she said that the MMR was, was safe as far as she knew, and gave me some anecdotal evidence. And that was the first time I thought, 'But you work for the NHS. I bet that's not true what you've told me'. Which now, a year after he had the MMR, it's quite a bizarre thought to think that I would have thought that about my GP. But then I moved on from her to my consultant, who I see about my condition, and I just happened to drop in that we were thinking of giving our son the MMR, and what did he think? And he was actually very, very full in his opinion and said, 'I think it's worse if you don't give him the MMR than if you do. I think the risks are greater'. I came out from seeing him, and had the same feeling of, 'Yes, but you work for the NHS'. Which even now I can't really believe that I thought. But because potentially I was going to damage my son, then I didn't trust anybody really. So from, from that information then I read things in the paper, which I read and then felt completely unsatisfied after I'd read, because I didn't feel any wiser really. So then I went on to the Web, and that was equally opposing views, and I was left thinking, 'Well, I've got to make the decision myself'.

And I talked to friends, who said that if their child had been a girl, then, yes, they would have immunised. But because all three of my friends had boys, then they said, no, they weren't, they were going to go for the individual jabs. So I then spent time looking for clinics who would immunise, and I found one that seemed a possibility. The cost was phenomenal. I think it was about '150 per injection. And then it, because of the time we wanted to have it done, then there was a, a shortage of the mumps vaccine, so we wouldn't be able to have that anyhow. So it seemed, you know, when I found that out, then for a few weeks we toyed with the idea that it would probably be best to give him the individual vaccinations.

But also, amongst my group of friends then I seemed to be the only person who was vaguely concerned about the injection and not having it on time. So my friends were saying, 'Oh, yes, we, yes, we really must look into that'. And I was thinking, 'But if I delay it any longer maybe he's going to get the infections anyhow'. So I felt there was a bit more, I needed to be a bit quicker really in making my decision.  

So I think I then phoned a friend in the States to say, 'Well, look, we're thinking about getting these injections done individually'. And she said, 'Right, yes, there has been quite a lot of, lot of stuff about that in the press in England'. She said, 'I only know that if I hadn't given my child the immunisation, then she wouldn't have been allowed to go to school in the States'. And I don't know why that piece of information just switched me into thinking, 'Okay, we'll go for it'. But we decided at that point that we'd go for the MMR. I think probably what she said combined with my dissatisfaction in having the individual jabs done privately, then I think that's probably what switched my decision.