Interview 29

More about me...
She felt too frightened to give her other children MMR because of the reaction her oldest son had.
She felt too frightened to give her other children MMR because of the reaction her oldest son had.
And I personally don't know if it was something in the measles, something in the mumps, something in the rubella, I don't know. It could be one thing in any one of them vaccinations. It could be the fact that they're given as a threesome. I just don't know. So that's what makes me afraid to do it. And because they are live vaccines, would I be opening my children to the risk of something happening by giving them the vaccine? It's just such a hard place to be. I would like someone just to say to me, 'Do you know what? It's all right. You can have them done because I guarantee you they're going to be fine'. But even then I'd probably laugh and think, 'No, I don't think so'.
Now I'd need a cast-iron guarantee written in stone before I'd even venture down that path again. But then obviously as I've said I'm running a risk anyway, because they're, my children aren't vaccinated. So what, what infections am I opening, making them more susceptible to and what are the consequences of those? But I just don't know. I don't know which way to do it. I mean the amount of times myself and my husband have sat and discussed this, you wouldn't even believe. 'Well, should we or shouldn't we? Should we, shouldn't we? Yes, I will. No, no, I won't'.
She decided not to continue with the immunisation programme after her daughter had a reaction to the first set.
She decided not to continue with the immunisation programme after her daughter had a reaction to the first set.
My second son had his first, second and third primary jabs. My third son, he had his first and second, and had such a reaction to the second he never had his third. And my little girl, she had her first and hasn't had her second or the third, because she was very, very, very distressed for a good fortnight afterwards. And, it sounds terrible, but the fear of God is in you, when you see your baby come away from the doctor's surgery and to be so distressed. And you're living it on a day-to-day basis. And if it was like a case of she, you know, any of the children came home and they were like cross or, or upset for a couple of hours, but Calpol is working. But when you go into the next day your heart is in your mouth, and when you go into the next day again it, even more so. And then you're just permanently sitting there just waiting, waiting to have to get an ambulance, waiting to have to go to hospital and...
And what was she like?
She was just cross and she was miserable and she had swellings on her legs that were absolutely unbelievable. I mean, and upset, didn't want her bottles, didn't want any love, just wasn't consolable. And, and then I suppose you just get to the point where you're like, 'Oh, is this happening all over again? Am I going to have to do this all again? And this is my baby and look what I've done. I've done this because I've allowed her to go there as, as I did with my second or my third son. I've allowed this to happen, you know'. And then sort of you come out the other side. After sort of a week, ten days things are getting a little bit better and then after two weeks everything's back to normal and you're like, 'Thank God'. And then it's like, 'Right, the next one's due' and you're like, 'Oh, God, no, I can't go through that again. I can't do it'. And then obviously I know I'm opening the children to infection. I know, I am a hundred per cent aware of that. But the fear in me that my children are going to have the problems that their oldest brother has got is so overwhelming that I just can't do it.