Green Lettuce - Interview 11

Age at interview: 25

Age at diagnosis: 20

Brief Outline:

Green Lettuce had problems with anxiety, voices and paranoia. He is now much better and wants to set up his own business. He takes a tranquilizer (Diazepam) and a sleeping tablet (Zopiclone) but no anti-psychotic medication, and thinks time has helped the most.

Background:

Green Lettuce wants to be an entrepreneur, lives in the countryside, is single and has no children. Ethnic Background' White British.

More about me...

‘Green Lettuce’ said that he was once just ‘normal’ and had friends, played pool and was his ‘normal self’. Then he started getting really bad anxiety and paranoia. He felt that people were talking behind his back and that people were watching him all the time. Green Lettuce started to hear voices in the third person, conversations going through his head, and found he was able to predict what was going to be said in conversation and on the television. He also felt his thoughts were being broadcast to everyone. Eventually this got so bad that he would not leave the house as the voices said they would kill him if he did. He went to the GP who prescribed him anti-psychotics, anti-anxiety medication and sleeping pills. He said that the doctor ‘seemed to be in a rush’ and that now he has a different doctor and a support worker. Green Lettuce said that he had been taking Risperidone for about a year and it made him feel ‘worse’ and ‘didn’t do much for the voices’. He said that the range of anti-psychotic medications didn’t do much, saying ‘the only thing that’s helped really is time’, although Seroquel did offer help for a very short time.

 

At one point Green Lettuce was supposed to go into hospital but couldn’t see a doctor there, so phoned his dad up to take him home. He thought that everyone was against him and that they were all trying to make him worse. He even doubted that he was speaking to his Dad on the telephone. At home he thought he was going mad and didn’t ‘have a clue’ what was going on. He didn’t think he could get any help but he found that the anti-anxiety tablets helped more than the psychotic medication. The Lorazepam helped him ‘calm all [his] thoughts down’.

 

He eventually started going out to see his friends a bit more and felt a lot better. His friends thought that it was because he smoked so much skunk that he was feeling paranoid. At the peak he was smoking 2ozs of skunk a week or ½ oz of hash a day. He was an infrequent user of ecstasy, taking two pills, and was once spiked with ecstasy. Green Lettuce has had some bad reactions to weed and drink in the past, blacking out for minutes at a time. He said that his friends helped a lot to make him feel better, but also posed a problem because they were smoking weed. He found that the more he talked to people the more it helped, as it was blocking the voices in his head. He also had a support worker, who came around every week to see how he was getting on, and appreciated this help. He then had some cognitive behavioural therapy which helped him ‘get back into a normal routine’, and the support worker took him out for walks. He found information on psychosis on Google and read up on it.

 

Green Lettuce then went to college to do a course at a residential college; this was a success, but he did start getting drunk, which made him feel ‘better than normal’, and it was easier to ignore the voices. He felt he drank less when he was at home. Diazepam helped a great deal. After leaving college Green Lettuce has looked for a job, but because the market is so competitive he is thinking of setting up on his own as an entrepreneur. Green Lettuce would move for a job but likes the peace and quiet of a rural environment, despite the difficulty of getting to places, and living on benefits doesn’t allow him to run a car.

 

Green Lettuce doesn’t take anti-psychotics at all and is on Diazepam and Zopiclone. Although Lorazepam is stronger (in some people’s opinion) its effects last only a short time. He prefers Diazepam as it has a longer half-life. Green Lettuce spends his time going on short walks, mending computers, and looking for a job. He sees his GP once a month but no longer feels he needs a support worker. 

Green Lettuce had felt paranoid and explained to his friends why he hadn't been out.

They were a bit like wondering why I hadn’t been out. And I just explained it.

 

Just said that I had really bad like paranoia and stuff.

 

And what was their reaction?

 

I can’t really remember but... They said it was probably to do with how much, weed I smoked. It definitely was.

 

Were you smoking skunk?

 

Yeah.

 

Stu… well quite a lot of it at the time, like two ounces a week. Which is like it’s about £40 a day for quite a few years. And if I couldn’t get that, if it was like hash it would be half an ounce a day or like, well just double the amount, equivalent to skunk, because hash is so much weaker. This didn’t, it wasn’t right.

 

And can you remember why you were smoking that much skunk?

 

I actually thought I needed to. Because my friends did, and I started smoking it as well, and then I smoked it all the time. Because I lived around it basically. Just smoked it as soon as I got up. Soon as I went to, well soon as I got up all day, well my hours changed, I was awake all night and I slept in the day like. I was, I went to sleep at like 9 a.m. in the morning and then got up at like 7 p.m. and it worked like that for a couple of years.  

Green Lettuce had extreme and confusing reactions to smoking weed and drinking alcohol.

I’ve had like weird things happen before like when I was smoking really quick, and really strong stuff I was... I was blacked out, hit my head on concrete, and like apparently I was like kicking a door because I was in like an archway thing. And I was like unconscious for like five or ten minutes. Then I woke up, and it was like a bit of my brain just vanished into thin air. It’s ridiculous. I don’t know why. But that’s happened before, although it was different circumstances. It was in a concert and I had a beer and someone must have put something in it. Because I drank some, and then I, within like two minutes I’d blacked out and I was on the floor, and then my mates didn’t know, but I think I was unconscious for like ten minutes.

 

Well they couldn’t see me, because they was just packed. People were probably walking all over me. 

 

Green Lettuce had different members of a mental health team visit him at first.

But I was soon referred to my, a support worker and he came round every week and talked to me. And she saw how I, she saw how I was getting on. And that helped a lot as well.

 

And what were they like?

 

Yes, they were good.

 

Was it a guy, woman?

 

A guy. I had different people come round to begin with, but I only saw them one time, and they were just talking about general stuff, do with what Psychosis, and, but I didn’t see them again till… I’m not sure. But the main guy I saw every week or two for about two or three years I think. He visited me at college as well.

 

And what types of things was he talking to you about?

 

He was just asking if I was getting better, really most of the time. Then I think I had some cog… I can’t

 

Cognitive behavioural therapy?

 

Might have been that. Some woman came round.

 

CBT?

 

Yes. I had to write my, get my days back into normal routine and write down when I got up, what I was doing all day. In Ex... on the computer and that helped. It got me back into a normal routine.

 

And did you like the woman that came round?

 

Yes.

 

What did you like about her?

 

She was just easy to talk to and. Would listen to what I had to say. That’s about it really.

 

And what about this guy, this support worker that came round for two years. Why did you like him?

 

The same reasons really. And he gradually got me to go out more, because like he would drive me to the beach and stuff, and go for a walk, and... 

Green Lettuce now only takes diazepam.

And what was it like coming home from college?

 

Yes, it was nice. To see my parents and brother again. Just a break from what I was doing every day really. And I drunk, drunk a lot less and that helped a lot.

 

What was the problem with drinking too much? How did it feel?

 

Well I didn’t really want to be drinking that much all the time. You get liver damage and so all the rest of it. So I cut down.

 

So was it just for health reasons really?

 

Yes. So I got prescribed diazepam by the doctor, and that helped, that’s helped a hell of a lot.

 

Oh really?

 

Yes. That’s actually taking all the voices and stuff away actually.

 

Really?

 

Yes. Because it lasts so long. If I take it, like I take half and half like, half about ten and then half about 12 or something, of what I take, and chills me out a lot and makes it easier to sleep. And it lasts into the next day, well into the next day. Nearly until I take it again.  

Green Lettuce had support workers come to his house; he talked about 'general stuff' and they helped get him back into a 'normal routine'.

But I was soon referred to my, a support worker and he came round every week and talked to me. And she saw how I, she saw how I was getting on. And that helped a lot as well.

I had different people come round to begin with, but I only saw them one time, and they were just talking about general stuff, do with what? Psychosis, and, but I didn’t see them again till… I’m not sure. But the main guy I saw every week or two for about two or three years I think. He visited me at college as well.

 

And what types of things was he talking to you about?

 

He was just asking if I was getting better, really most of the time. Then I think I had some cog… I can’t remember what it’s called, some therapy.

 

Cognitive behavioural therapy?

 

Might have been that. Some woman came round.

 

CBT?

 

Yes. I had to write my, get my days back into normal routine and write down when I got up, what I was doing all day. In Ex... on the computer and that helped. It got me back into a normal routine.

 

And did you like the woman that came round?

 

Yes.

 

What did you like about her?

 

She was just easy to talk to and. would listen to what I had to say.

Green Lettuce talks about living in a peaceful rural location with his parents, but he had to move as his neighbour was harassing Green Lettuce's family.

It’s just so peaceful, there’s just hardly any noise at all. It’s an easy life. 

 

And what do you think about living here? Is it just the peacefulness that you...?

 

Here it’s a lot, it’s very quiet. Where I lived before it was in a village, but we were on the main road through, so you know, basically it wasn’t too bad, but the neighbour was annoying. That’s part of the reason we moved I think.

 

oh right.

 

He used to spy on us all the time, well, when I was outside or my Mum was outside he was just looking through the window all the time, and like cutting flowers down, and spraying them with hose.

 

Yes, it was pretty bad, and he was liking banging on the walls, when I played music and stuff, even though it wasn’t very loud. He phoned the police up loads of times as well. But like slam doors. One time he came in, into the house on his own. Like without even being invited, like through the back door I think, and knocked on my brother’s door and asked him to turn his music down. Yeah. 

At one point Green Lettuce thought that everyone in the hospital was trying to wind him up and make him worse, so that when his dad phoned he thought it wasn't really him on the phone.

At one point I was meant go to hospital for a day and overnight. I can’t remember the exact reason why, but I just didn’t like it at all, so I phoned my Dad up and came home. I didn’t even believe, like, because I was trying to get to see a doctor and they were just saying that you have to wait, and I was waiting like four or five hours it was ridiculous. I couldn’t see anyone. So I, and I couldn’t believe that they were lying, because at this time, obviously I thought everyone was, was against me, and I thought they, they were just doing it on purpose, made me worse. It did. That actually made it worse. So I really did thing they were just trying to make me worse. Even though they probably weren’t. It was just they were too busy. 

 

And then when you said everybody was against you, did you also think about your family and friends?

 

No. Not really. When I went, I was in the hospital, I didn’t bel… I thought like when I phoned my Dad up to get him to pick me up from the hospital, that it wasn’t actually my Dad on the phone, even though I knew it was his voice, but I thought it had been someone from hospital winding me up. And I had to like ask him questions that only he would know, to prove that it was him. That’s like what I was thinking at the time. They were just winding me up.