TIA and Minor Stroke

And I also found myself talking to the other people in the ward gave me a sense of comradeship. I didn’t feel quite so alone in the sense of where I was going, though, as I said, they were to me rather terrifying, that they were so completely not wanting to know what was happening. And here was I avidly trying to get hold of my spreadsheet and find out what my temperature was and what my pulse rate was. “What drugs are they putting in this wretched drip?” and this kind of thing.

Apart from the effects on myself, the biggest effect has been on my wife and my daughter. And they are just supportive. I think the first 24 hours they were very concerned. Fortunately my wife came to the hospital with me, and at the end of the consultation I made sure that she came in to meet with the consultant so that we both heard the same message about what had happened, the cause of what had happened, and what was going to happen in the future. And because we have a fabulous relationship in which we can talk about anything, I can tell her, I was happy to tell her - not happy, that’s wrong. I was able to tell her in the first 24 hours I was frightened. I don’t mind saying that.

And I’ve worked, I worked seven years underground, so I worked in mines, I know what it’s like to be frightened, and quite, it’s okay to say you’re frightened. It’s all right. And if you can tell your partner, “I’m frightened”, then they understand, to some extent. And they’re there and they, you know, I’m confident that Martine, my wife, will cope with whatever happens, because we talk about it openly. And the same for my daughter. You just say, “This is what’s happened. This is what I feel about it.” And it’s good to share that. And with, with friends.

One of the things yeah, in actual fact it comes to mind, one of the things that never happened, I never actually sat and talked to anybody, you know, any therapist or anything like that, you know, “How do you feel, Richard?” You know, “What, what’s your problem?” “Well I, my emotions are shot to pieces.” You know. “The little things make me cry”. “My emotions come out. When I get angry and frustrated, I swear. I’m not that sort of person.”

Keep friends. Keep friends. Keep the channels of communication open with friends and family. If we can’t do it the way that we normally do it do it another way. I found talking on the phone very difficult. And I still do. Email. There’s Facebook. There’s Twitter. However old we are. There’s postcards. There’s letters. Meet up with people for a coffee. I’ve had to learn that I need to do that otherwise I become very isolated.

I’d certainly tell them, everybody at work, they know what’s happened. And I’ve also spoken to them about what to do if I start to behave strangely, because I want, I want them to be able to feel confident to just dial 999. You know, let’s not delay. Let’s get some help. Because I’m concerned that if I have a stroke I may not be able to explain what’s happening. I want them to recognise the symptoms and deal with it. And because I travel and work in very remote locations because of my business - I’m talking about the middle of Siberian forests, or out in the Sahara, or up on the Canadian ice fields - I need to tell the people I’m with what has happened. I need to be very honest with them and say, “Right, I’ve had this. This is my concern. And this is what I want you to do about it if these things happen.” And that’s something that just feeds into a safety culture which we’ve had as a company, as a group, for all our working time, and which we’ve inherited and learnt from the major oil companies we work with, who are very concerned about individual safety and are extremely good at it.

I would say talk about it if you’ve got a neighbour or a friend or somebody that, you know, is quite happy to come and sit with you.

I filled in a contact on the email and they sent me and she phoned me and I think, if I remember rightly, it was within a couple of days she was here to have a chat and see what she could do to help. She also put me in contact with the local stroke club. Unfortunately, as far as that’s concerned, I haven’t been able to bring myself to go yet.

The people that I’ve spoke to are just of any age. At the time I would have preferred to speak to more younger stroke survivors and I did look for young support groups which in the area where I live there isn’t any. Or not too far away, there’s not any services there either. So that was a bit difficult but at the time you just make do with you, what’s there for you.