Testicular Cancer

As far as my sex life was concerned three weeks after I had the operation we managed to have full sex. So if you can imagine even though it's [the operation] very invasive, there was no real problem. You have to be so careful because you're very tender, especially where the incision was. The swelling had gone down quite dramatically by then. But it was still, still say orange size! Or small orange size, Satsuma size or maybe or whatever, on that side, but there was still, the, the actual effects of the swelling wasn't stopping us now from enjoying sex if we wanted sex. I was finding, I wasn't as, shall we say randy as I normally was but within two weeks of the first time I was back to being my normal self, if not more than my normal self. I, I found that I wanted sex more. Maybe that's a psychological thing of losing the testicle I don't know but it was, it definitely was the case and it hasn't gone away yet; to my wife's annoyance! But no, so as far as sex is concerned it doesn't seem to have an affect at all. My wife has also explained that as far as she's concerned it doesn't actually look that different from the time before, unless you're looking straight on and normally it doesn't get in the way of our sex life anyway. But uh, no there is no, thinking about it there was no, it hasn't affected her at all. But that's our relationship.

I thought so originally, I wondered was I going to function the same way er you know what was sex was going to be like in the future. The very first time I was terrified, I wondered you know have they tied up all the tubes up properly, you know am I going to have a leak or something. And it was, it was nerve-wracking it was worrying. I needn't have bothered it's not affected me physically since and that was what 17 years ago. Had no, no side effects, I'll still go swimming, whatever.

So for young men who might be watching this and thinking, Oh my God will I be able to have sex again, or something, can you just repeat that sex is just the same with one.

It's exactly the same er you will not know any difference. You'll be as nervous as hell the first time, just you know to wonder, worry. Don't worry, I don't feel any differently now to when I was 18. There's been no, no effect at all, even psychologically. I don't, I'm not aware that I still have one testicle and not 2. I sometimes get the sensation that I've got 2. You sometimes can feel them moving and I can feel the missing one move er but they say you can feel a leg that's been amputated. I never think about it now.
 

Did it affect your libido for a while, I mean during treatment?

No actually it didn't, no it didn't affect anything like that, no. Me wife thought it would and it should, uh and I said 'Don't worry about it, it'll only burn you!' 

Were you told to take different precautions when you were having chemotherapy?

Well funnily enough, because I was having chemotherapy it was in me system you know. I was told, uh, I wasn't told, no, I wasn't told to avoid sex or anything like that. I don't think they actually thought I'd be capable of it to tell you the truth! But me being an awkward bugger, I obviously I was, yeah, I've still got erections through and after treatment, yeah.

And they didn't tell you to wear a condom or anything like that? 

No, no. Mind you I just used to tease the Mrs and say 'It'll burn you girl!'

But she didn't notice any difference?

No.
 

Speaking totally from personal experience there is no discernible difference in my sex life from before I had testicular cancer to after I had testicular cancer. There are, of course there are emotional changes, there are things that you find that affect you. You will find that the first 2 or 3 times that you have sex with a loving partner you will be very, very emotional because it's almost as a relief that things happen, that things work. Nothing stops, you know you haven't lost a limb, it still works, it works on 2 levels. You have to chemically get it to work by making sure that you have the HRT but more important than the chemically get it to work you have to psychologically get it work as well. Now I'm sure that everybody knows that if you totally screwed up, you've had a hard day, you're tense and whatever, even men in the prime of their health sometimes it don't work. That is not because of the testicular cancer, that is because you are totally stressed out. If you have a loving partner and someone that cares and understands there is no reason whatsoever that you cannot have a full and fulfilling sex life. 

If you sit there for an hour before and say, "It's not going to work, I'm going to be a failure, I'm going to be a flop in bed," and all these things, it won't work. But remember one thing, when you get into bed or when you start to make love for the first or second or third time, with somebody and that person knows that you've had testicular cancer they are going to be so caring, they're going to be so wanting, they're going to want it to work for you so badly that it will work, I guarantee you. It might not work the first time, it might not work the second time but there is no clinical reason whatsoever why it shouldn't work and the caring, loving person that you're lying next to will want it to work for you so much that they will work with you to make sure that everything is as good if not better than it was before.

What I would say, well quite a big factor, which I had forgotten about, the final operation because of where it is, I was told that it can affect ejaculation. And they did say "Have you got your sperm banked?" I said "Yes." He said "Well," the urologist said "it is rare but because the nerves that control ejaculation run, are running very close to where the tumour is we may have to remove those as well and you might not be able to ejaculate. So it meant you wouldn't be able to have children in the regular way. And I said "Oh right okay." I thought oh well, again it's the lesser of two evils really, you either cut it out, and have that risk, or you leave it in and then have the risk of it possibly coming back. So I just, well there was no sort of contest for that. But it has, it has actually, it doesn't affect, I can't ejaculate, it doesn't affect erections or orgasms or anything like that but I can't have kids normally now and so. 

But your sperm is frozen?

Yes and we're, well we are in the process now of finding out what we've got to do to actually make that happen. So er that's, I suppose that is the only, the biggest effect that has had on me is that.