Depression
Depression: hope, advice and wisdom
Hope
First, many people we talked to wanted to make it clear that they had been severely depressed. That is, they know what it was like to be in absolute despair. Secondly, they stressed they were speaking from experience when they said that recovery from episodes of depression was not only possible, but probable. A woman who had a severe debilitating depression that lasted five years (she was on incapacity benefit all that time) felt qualified to talk about how life could be turned around and be enjoyed. It was pointed out that even though everything can look very bleak while depressed, people mostly recovered from depression, and things do tend to get better over time. Several people with severe depression had not realised early on that recovery was possible (see 'Getting better from depression'). They also said that recovery should be thought of as a gradual process.
While people may be sceptical, there is life after depression, and life can improve.
While people may be sceptical, there is life after depression, and life can improve.
Says people with depression should hang on during the worst of depression because things are...
Says people with depression should hang on during the worst of depression because things are...
You very likely will get better but you need time. And you needn't be too hard on yourself and think that you're a failure and you've got it all wrong... you cannot see the end because your circumstances are such that you're locked into this cycle of hopelessness, you can't function, your brain doesn't function, and you can't believe then that you're going to be okay as a human being, in which case you've just got to hang on.
It's lovely if you've got the support and encouragement of those around you, but you're not necessarily going to get that, and we needn't pretend that you will. But as I say most people do get better with depression.
Help seeking and giving
'Doing nothing' is probably not going to help. People emphasised that people who are very depressed need to get professional help rather than think they can do it on their own. Even if doctors seemed unable to understand, or provided poor help in the past, they are the first port of call. If nothing else a GP can help with medication and referrals to other professionals (see 'Help with depression: General Practice' and 'Help with depression: psychiatrists & other mental health professionals'). It was recommended that people try to find another doctor if the one they have is unhelpful. If you are not wanting medication, you can get other kinds of help, such as a referral for counselling.
Argues that the depressed person is the best person to overcome the depression, but they need to...
Argues that the depressed person is the best person to overcome the depression, but they need to...
Says doing nothing about depression does not help - it is better to try to be active in getting...
Says doing nothing about depression does not help - it is better to try to be active in getting...
It sounds like you been active in dealing with your depression?
I was thinking that before you came, you know, but I have been a positive person. I haven't just sat back and I haven't accepted drug treatment because I don't think they solve the problem. It may be that some people have chemical imbalance or something like that and that's a different matter. If the cause is physiological then maybe you need some drugs. But if the cause is psychological then you need to do something in order to think in a different way.
Some also stressed that in a deep depression you need to see a professional without delay, since you are probably not thinking clearly enough to really help yourself. Some emphasised the need to take action if medication was not working after the allotted time (e.g. ask for different medication, get referred to a psychiatrist who has more experience with medication). Several people pointed out that a wider network of help may be available to people in distress than they might at first believe. The advice to those who know a person who is depressed was to listen and offer practical help, including helping the depressed person in completing tasks, helping them to seek professional help, and advocacy. Interview 28 recommended the use of touch, “because when you're perhaps too ill even to speak, then you can be touched”.
Argues that very depressed people need to accept help from doctors, including medication, at...
Argues that very depressed people need to accept help from doctors, including medication, at...
I mean I can judge situations in retrospect, but at the time, I was almost immobilised, inert really. Yeah it was.... I would sit in a darkened room with my arms over my head for hours, feeling so wretched I didn't want to eat or drink. So I was totally.... almost totally withdrawn, so you're not really able to make any judgements and that's it....
Urges very depressed people to get medical help without delay because they are not in a position...
Urges very depressed people to get medical help without delay because they are not in a position...
That's hard to do because we tend to trust what we think, especially if we think it is as powerfully as we do. But if you can just say, "No, actually at the moment, I'm ill and what I think is probably wrong," that's good... the voice that says to you bad things seems incredibly undeniable and it's not. And if you could just try and say, try to act as if it's not, then that's really good. And again you will not believe it, but you get better and not very, not very far away from now, you will feel better.
Advises those who are not responding to medication to ask for a different medication or for...
Advises those who are not responding to medication to ask for a different medication or for...
And my personal experience is.... is go for a younger doctor who has had more recent training in the more modern anti-depressants. And particularly, I know, you read stuff about people saying Prozac has done this, done that, you know, but any drug, you know has some side effects you know, and don't let that put you off because living with depression is far worse than any side effects. And I... I don't have side effects I don't think. Perhaps I would say I'm not quite as sharp in my mind as I used to be, but maybe that's just because I'm getting older [laugh]. But I am certainly smart enough to be able to function extremely well and do a challenging job that demands my brain to work.
Argues that people in distress may have more help available to them than they think. (Played by...
Argues that people in distress may have more help available to them than they think. (Played by...
So what I would say to anybody who is reading this, and that is in distress, is that you're going through a process for a reason. And that may be difficult to read. You're having feelings, maybe thoughts and feelings that you think are unusual or that are distressing you, but help is out there. In lots of different ways, and lots of areas.
I know in my local area there is a 24-hour mental health line now, and there is The Samaritans, there is Depression Alliance. There are people out there who are the same. Although you may not think it, your friends and family would want to know that you are in this distress and would want to help.
You may think.... It may be difficult for you to reach out, and I understand that because I didn't for a long time. But I would really urge you to reach out if you can muster anything, reach out because there is help out there.
He needed a lot of help when very depressed, and says that friends and family can assist the...
He needed a lot of help when very depressed, and says that friends and family can assist the...
And I wanted to finish by saying that the worst thing you can say to a depressed person is, "What have you got to be depressed about?" It is really as useful as saying to someone with hayfever, "What's the point of sneezing at flowers?" Depression is an illness over which a person suffering has no control.
Instead of searching for a possibly non-existent reason for a person being depressed, if you know someone who is having problems, offer them positive help. Offer to help them open their mail, offer to help them with their daily correspondence, check that they are able to get up in the morning. When I was depressed I was unable to cope with many daily tasks, it was only with the help and support of those around me that I was able to function at all.
Develop a 'recovery attitude'
People recognised that it could be near impossible to think positively while depressed. However, as Interview 24 said, even when depressed, you can still try to cultivate a belief that you will eventually get better. Additionally, as Interview 24 and many others pointed out, the person with depression had to be the person to take responsibility for getting better. Even though others can help, when all is said and done, ultimately it was up to the person to get better.
Argues that those with depression ultimately need to take responsibility for recovery, although...
Argues that those with depression ultimately need to take responsibility for recovery, although...
It is a case of not allowing yourself to forget that you can do something for yourself. You can get yourself out of it. In fact, the only person who can get yourself out of it is yourself, and no one else. It doesn't mean to say other people can't help you, therapists, medication, whatever, going to classes, there are other people who can help you. But you have actually got to do an incredible amount of work yourself. Developing that self-belief "I deserve the best".
Several people argued that, once they were feeling well enough, people with depression can help themselves by becoming the expert in their illness. Additionally, although it may seem strange at first, one way of developing a recovery attitude is to 'aim low'. One man in his 30s reconciled himself to “the possibility that my life might be absolutely dreadful”. This actually allowed him to be more positive and helped him in his recovery from a lifelong low mood and episodic depression which finally began to improve several years before he talked to us. Others talked about it as taking “little steps”, e.g. Interview 14 said “do a little thing and win, rather than trying to battle against a huge thing. I'm sure that's the way to do it, easy bites”.
Setting small tasks or 'mini goals' is a way of feeling you have achieved something, rather than...
Setting small tasks or 'mini goals' is a way of feeling you have achieved something, rather than...
Lowering expectations can be a way of feeling better about yourself.
Lowering expectations can be a way of feeling better about yourself.
Another example of a recovery attitude is seeing depression as ultimately happening for a reason, and even as being a 'beneficial' way for the mind to protect itself, and ultimately guide you to finding better ways of living.
As when an over-loaded fuse blows, she feels that depression has come for a reason, making her...
As when an over-loaded fuse blows, she feels that depression has come for a reason, making her...
I think it's (depression) definitely made me stronger, definitely, definitely. Because I have been a bit perfectionist in the past but I'm, also I'm very honest, I can't kind of, I can't handle false, so I feel like I've been honest in that I've kind of gone with the flow and tried to... tried to deal with it, you know. I'm not... I definitely learned a lot from it. I think, I think it was almost like, what's, what's the thing when you know, like a fuse going, like a fuse going when, when there's overload or whatever. It's like a fuse going, it's for a reason, it's like you're body is telling you, stop, hang on, maybe you need to go, turn around, go in another direction. So, I think I've learned a lot and it's, it's been very useful, yeah.
Thinking about depression as a way of changing her life, rather than as the enemy, helped her...
Thinking about depression as a way of changing her life, rather than as the enemy, helped her...
So it can be seen as not the enemy?
As part of the whole story. No, not the enemy, not the enemy. It's not helpful to think of it as an enemy. And it's not helpful for me to think badly of myself because I'm depressed. It seems to me it's ok, in the sense, I am ok, not the whole of me is depressed, a part of me. This depression is a manifestation of a malaise, of a need to become more whole. That's how I look at it. If I am depressed, then I have the opportunity to change. I get to a point, when the depression is not so severe, I get to a point, and only I know when that is, and I know in my bones, when I can choose either to change certain ways I live, attitudes I have, or to go back to the old ways which will probably result in another depression. It's rather like having a dream, which is telling me something. I take no notice so it recurs and recurs until I do.
Last reviewed September 2017.
Last updated October 2012.
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