Mental health: ethnic minority carers’ experiences

I know in Japan, so I really don't know, but I only know one example as my grandparents. When I, when my grandfather had cancer he had a big operation, my grand mum, at the time she had really dodgy legs, and her knees weren't that well at the time. In her late 60s, from her, although they both lived in central Tokyo, my grandfather was in hospital more than six month, and it took about, one way to get to the hospital from my grandmother's home, to go, -about one hour. Because included quite a long walking distance, and my grandmother couldn't afford taking taxi every day at the time, but she visited my grandfather absolutely every single day, no break whatsoever. I think that is in the blood I think. But a different generation began to act different way. Around my generation still we do have that attitude, if you're married, if you have child, or children, or someone to look after we don't put our self before anybody else. We do the opposite, put our self on the side, your first priority is to whomever's most vulnerable, and then the next is about you, which doesn't come up to surface very often. But I didn't force myself to do that I don't think, no, if so probably I wouldn't be here.

Over there, one thing good over there, we have, when he was in New Jersey, we have two meetings a week, on Tuesday, it's the parent and the patient, if I have a patient there, I will, -I can go in there and the patient and the parent, and there will be a head nurse or a psychiatrist or somebody there to organise the meeting. And my son can say anything to me and I can give a good, -and I can answer him back. Then a psychiatrist will say, -will tell my son he is wrong or I am wrong or something like that, you know. A friendly, -this thing. And to me, that is very, very helpful, because sometimes -you don't say things in anger, things go better. My son has his view, I have my view, or my son wants something, I will say, “I will try my best to do it”. And that is very helpful. And on Thursday night, seven to nine, it's only the parent meeting and the parent can voice the concern and every, -about the medication, can ask any question and can give all their views, which is, to me, is very helpful too, which we don't have it in this country. And to me, to me that was very good, because one Sunday I went to see my son in the hospital and my son says, “oh there's no toilet paper” and my son say, “the patient had to use their underwear to clean themselves”. So I was a little bit worked up, or something. I went to the office and here this woman, black woman, big black woman was sleeping on the chair. And I woke her up. I say, “excuse me, excuse me, there's no toilet paper in the toilet, and the patient need toilet paper”. And she looked at me, she says, “who do you think I am? A supply person?” And I was, was really very annoyed. I say, “you're lucky it's not my son otherwise I get a lawyer in”. I would get the newspaper in too. And one thing was good, I was able to bring the matter up at the next meeting. The person which chaired the meeting was surprised, and she said to me, “I'm glad you brought that up. We will look into the matter”. And next week she came back, she apologised, she says, “yes it did happen, and she made excuse for her. She has been working double shifts”. But I said “that's no excuse”, you know. And she says, “thank you, thank you for giving attention to the hospital. We'll make sure it won't happen again”. Because to me, all these meetings are important, because you can bring up what you see, you do not like, or you think is wrong.