Indira - Interview 08
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Indira has been caring for her aunt who has Alzheimer's disease for five years. She believes older people deserve to be treated with respect.
Indira is from India, where she set up and ran a charity for destitute older people. She became a carer when she came to the UK at age 60.
More about me...
Indira is 65 year and from India. She came to London five years ago to care for her aunt, Maria, who is 85 and has Alzheimer's disease. Back in India, Indira ran a charity for destitute older people, but when her cousin contacted her and told her that their aunt had been found unconscious in her flat and that she was now in a psychiatric ward in hospital, Indira agreed to come for four months initially.
Indira was shocked by the conditions in which her aunt was living, both at the hospital and at home. At the hospital she had been groped by a male patient and Indira didn't think the health professionals dealt with it properly. Indira was also shocked that no one in had intervened as Maria over the years had gradually been reduced to beg for food and to live in abject poverty. Possibly due to her Alzheimer, she had signed papers which gave her bank the Right of Attorney for what she had inherited from her wealthy husband, but which she did not receive.
When she arrived in the UK, Indira didn't know her aunt. Maria had grown up in Ireland where her family had hidden their Indian identify by pretending to be Spanish. As a result Maria never wanted any contact with her Indian relatives. Because of Maria's anti-Indian feelings, Indira has not said that she is her niece despite now having lived with her for five years.
Indira misses her work and her family back home. She finds her current life hard, but says that she has made a promise to care for Maria and to make sure she has a good and dignified life. Her aunt can sometimes be very angry and difficult to deal with, but what Indira finds hardest is to have to put up with the way in which Mary is treated by the home cares who come in to change and wash her. Indira finds some of their behaviour rude and disrespectful to her aunt. She has made complaints about some carers, but does not feel her concerns are always taken seriously.
Indira is member of several charities that provide help to her and her aunt.
When the home carers left their aunt in her own waste, Indira and her cousin believed it was a...
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When the home carers left their aunt in her own waste, Indira and her cousin believed it was a...
My cousin phoned up the home office and said, 'I want someone to come right away to check what, how the carers have left her.' So the lady said, 'I'll get someone to you'. Somebody did come. Now that man said, 'I'm sorry there's nobody here that I can send'. So my cousin said, 'in that case, I would have to call the police and make an official complaint that this is how my aunt has been abused'. So the moment he said police, he said 'OK, tell me what it is and I'll take the matter up with my seniors tomorrow'. So my cousin explained everything to him and I had to clean the mess, because I didn't have, I don't do photography, I don't have a camera here, but I had to clean that mess, because I needed to do it. But I wrote, -then my cousin wrote a, sent a letter again, saying that 'please investigate this or I will take criminal, I mean, I will take action as criminal assault', because it was nothing less than an assault, because the. You see, she was fully dressed. This is evident that it has been placed there after she was fully dressed. Now how can anybody do such a thing? They don't like me, fine. They need not come to my house, just as I have a right to say, 'don't send so and so'. They have a right to say 'we don't want to go there'. So why come here and expose my aunt?
She says home carers need more training.
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She says home carers need more training.
She finds some of the home carers very rude to her aunt.
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She finds some of the home carers very rude to her aunt.
She is sad she could not be with family members in India when they were dying.
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She is sad she could not be with family members in India when they were dying.
She says professional home carers make remarks because she is Asian and Muslim.
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She says professional home carers make remarks because she is Asian and Muslim.
Indira and her cousin decided to stick by their aunt when others gave up.
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Indira and her cousin decided to stick by their aunt when others gave up.
She is happy with the sitting service and grateful that the voluntary organisation can send the...
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She is happy with the sitting service and grateful that the voluntary organisation can send the...
She says you need to look after yourself first to look after others.
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She says you need to look after yourself first to look after others.
I do go. I do go, because I do feel it's necessary, because I've understood that it is important I keep my mind and my wellbeing is also important. But I will not make it absolute, because absolute is her. But I do understand that if I want to be doing a good job, I must first see to myself. And I do see to myself. Once she's asleep at night, I do go for a movie now and then, a Hindi movie, because I'm so homesick, and I do enjoy seeing scenes of India and all that, hearing my own Hindi language spoken. So all that, you do find, -you must look after yourself. I think that's another message to the carers, look after yourselves, because your wellbeing is vital to your job. Without your wellbeing, where is you and where is the person you are caring for, so that is there.
Look after yourself, do your best and don't give up even when you feel down.
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