Sabrina

Age at interview: 33

Brief Outline:

Sabrina started experiencing urinary incontinence after she had a difficult birth. For two years, she has wet herself when active, laughing, coughing, or in the evenings. Sometimes she wears incontinence pads and is thinking about talking to her GP.

Background:

Sabrina works part-time in customer care for a bank. She lives with her partner and her young son. Her ethnicity is White British.

Condition: urinary incontinence

More about me...

Sabrina experienced a difficult birth with her first child when she was 31. She remembers being “pulled” around a little bit” during delivery and having to have an extended episiotomy (a cut in the area between the vagina and anus, called the perineum, during childbirth). The stitches from her episiotomy became infected and she had difficulties recovering on top of being a new parent. Sabrina is not sure if she wants to have another child because of how traumatic her experience was.

Sabrina started experiencing urinary incontinence after her son was born. At first, she did not think much about it because she was focused on being a parent. Sabrina’s urinary incontinence started to become more of a concern when she was going back to work after maternity leave. Although it does not happen every day, Sabrina says it has become a “normal” thing for her to wet herself. It often happens when she is active, laughs, coughs, or sneezes. Sometimes it happens when she is relaxing with her family in the evening. When she is home, she manages by having a shower and changing her clothes, but when she is out, she sometimes wears adult incontinence pads.

Sabrina’s urinary incontinence has made it hard for her to be as fully active as she would like to be as a mum. She wants to play with her son but often has to sit and watch because she’s concerned about wetting herself. Her partner and other family members understand, but Sabrina wishes she could be the one playing football with her son. People have often told Sabrina that urinary incontinence is something that happens to women after they have children. Sabrina knows that childbirth can be difficult, but she does not want to have this condition for the rest of her life. She wants to have control over her body again and is thinking about asking her GP for help.

Sabrina’s partner used to make comments about her incontinence, but he now knows how much it bothers her and tries to be supportive.

My partner, he doesn’t, he just doesn’t even really bat an eyelid anymore. At the start it was kind of like, “Again.” Like “Come on,” like “Again.” And we joked that we’d have to put a lining on the sofa cos when my little one was so small it happened a lot, but now because he knows how much it does bother me, he doesn’t, nothing’s really said unless he’s trying to be supportive.

 

When it happened when we were out, and I got really, really upset, I think it dawned on him just how much it bothers me. And so he always tries to kind of, especially with his family, he, he always kind of be like, “Oh she’s been, she’s been really busy today, like it’s nice for her to have a sit down.” Just to kind of deflect the fact that I’m not joining in.

Sabrina hasn’t seen a doctor about urinary incontinence. At first, she felt it was “just like ‘I’ve had a baby, it happens’”. Now her symptoms are impacting on her more, she is planning on seeing her GP.

I hadn’t thought to see a doctor before, to be honest. Just because as I said, I just thought it was, this was it and that I’ve got to deal with it. I am gonna go to a doctor and say just because it’s got, it’s not just that, it’s now got an impact on, on me, it’s not just wetting myself, it’s, I don’t do half the things I want to do, because I’m worried about it. So I am, yeah, I definitely want to go to see somebody else and try and help and see if there’s anything that they can recommend or give me, or yeah. Cos, I don’t, I don’t want to be that mum that just sits there and watches. I wanna be a part of it.

Pelvic floor exercises were the last thing on Sabrina’s mind with the demands of having a baby.

So he, yeah, he keeps going on about my Kegel exercises, which is all very good for him, when he’s just sat on his computer and just playing games at the end of the day. But it’s just the fact that you forget to do it. Like when, and as soon as you have a baby and they tell you, “It’s so important to do it, do it at times that you know, it’s really important to do it when you brush your teeth, or when you do something every day,” and I don’t know about them but when you’ve got a newborn baby, the last thing you, you’re thinking about when you’re brushing your teeth is, ‘Oh let me just squeeze for ten seconds and see if I can hold it.’ Like it just doesn’t even cross your mind, you’re kind of thinking like have they been fed, are they quiet, can you hear them? Like can I get some sleep? Then you’ve got your partner, and you’ve got animals, and just everything else, like squeezing down there is the last thing that comes to your mind when you’re brushing your teeth when you’ve had a baby. And even now when he’s old enough to, to, to sort of be his own person and stuff, I think once you have kids you just, you just don’t think about yourself anymore. You are the last thought for anything, and yeah. Like even when days, where it’s happened an hour later it’s, it’s gone, like the fact that I really should be doing exercises just isn’t, isn’t the thought anymore. It’s got to get the dinner on, or snack time, or has he had a poo, I’ll do his nappy. It’s like, everything else just is at the forefront of your mind, and your body just, you just whack a big pair of pants on and you whack some clothes on, and as long as it hasn’t got anything on it, then you’re good to go. Like you’re lucky if you get a shower of a day and let alone get to do some exercises.