Fatima
Fatima discovered that she had HIV in 2016 when pregnant with her first child. Her husband also has HIV and their family do not know about their diagnosis.
Fatima describes her ethnicity as Asian. She is married and has two children, a 3-year-old child and a 3-week-old baby.
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The country that Fatima grew up in does not allow non-nationals with HIV to live there. As Fatima and her husband were not born in the country, she was given temporary medication, and was asked at each medical appointment when her and her husband would be leaving the country. This caused Fatima great distress and it took her and her husband one and a half years of struggle and two solicitors to get the correct visa paperwork in order to leave the country and come to the UK. This has been a horrible experience for her. She feels embarrassed and ashamed due to the way she was treated by the system there. She has been seeing a psychologist and has been troubled by fear and depression ever since.
Fatima had a low immune system throughout her pregnancy and was troubled by symptoms which caused pain, and also infections, for which she was unable to take antibiotics or painkillers, due to allergies.
The doctors in her previous country told Fatima not to breastfeed her first child, because she had not been taking HIV medication during her pregnancy. She was given tablets to stop her breast milk. Fatima recalls the huge relief she felt when their eldest child tested negative when they came to the UK. Fatima and her husband have made the decision to formula feed their second baby as well, as they don’t want to take any kind of risk.
Fatima says they have been given formula milk free of charge which is really helping financially. Family members have asked why she is bottle feeding her child, because they do not know about their HIV. Fatima has told them she is bottle feeding because her “breast milk is not coming.” Feeling unable to tell her family about her diagnosis has been very difficult for Fatima.
Fatima considered abortion because she was worried about HIV transmission.
Fatima considered abortion because she was worried about HIV transmission.
My point of view for HIV was like, ‘I’m going to die’ and I think, you know, came into my mind that thing because I haven’t studied a lot about this disease and all those things so then when I came over here and when they spoke to me the doctors, you know, when they spoke to me regarding this thing they have explained everything regarding this HIV thing that with the medication it’s just a normal thing, you know, like as if you are a diabetic patient.
It’s just taking the medicine, so they have explained me and all and with the on my second pregnancy also, I had a fear I don’t want my child to get infected with this thing. I had a fear, I had really a bad fear of this thing. I was, I have booked an appointment to abort my child also.
So, I told the HIV team, you know, regarding my fear and everything, why I wanted to abort it. I told them everything regarding that thing and they explained to me, you know, “It’s completely normal and you don’t have to face anything. You’re taking medication and it won’t, probably like 99 per cent it won’t affect your child. Only 1 per cent of the children you know, they get affected with this thing.” But, you know, my fear was like it I don’t want that thing to haunt me, you know, always in my mind. So that’s the thing why I was going to abort my child, but then they have explained me, you know, I just went with the flow, you know.
Fatima felt well taken care of throughout her pregnancy by her midwife. When she was struggling with her mental health the midwife helped her to access support.
Fatima felt well taken care of throughout her pregnancy by her midwife. When she was struggling with her mental health the midwife helped her to access support.
I just visited the GP once but and the midwife I used to visit and she was like wonderful lady and the way they used to when they have taken me, care of me throughout my pregnancy and they have explained everything. I used to tell them everything, you know, regarding my fear, regarding my, you know, mental this thing which I was facing, you know, depression and all. I used to tell them everything regarding this thing, so they have referred me to the psychologist also which I’m taking decisions, you know, they have referred me regarding this thing, and they have helped me a lot with, you know, to cope with all those things.
Fatima feels there needs to be social care support available during pregnancy.
Fatima feels there needs to be social care support available during pregnancy.
No, the thing is that, you know, I just like to add about over here is that normally the HIV people need a lot of support, you know, with this thing. You know, I haven’t got that kind of support, you know, or in in the sense, you know, because I was not unwell, I wanted someone to help me out so for the social care or something like that, you know, is to help them out for the pregnancy because some people can cope with the pregnancy, some people cannot. You know, so I just wanted this thing to be like, you know, at least the social care support, you know, for the people who have, who are, you know, diagnosed with HIV, they really face a hard time, mostly those people, you know, those who doesn’t have anyone over here, you know they are like, their family’s not over here and their family’s living in some other country and they need support.
Fatima grew up in the Middle East, but her nationality is Indian. She describes when she and her husband were diagnosed in a Middle Eastern country.
Fatima grew up in the Middle East, but her nationality is Indian. She describes when she and her husband were diagnosed in a Middle Eastern country.
The protocol in my country is like, you know, the patients who are ill, with HIV they have to leave the country. We are ex-pats over there, so we have to leave the country, so it was a horrible experience for me. I went across to many things and over many hurdles because this thing was a taboo subject, you know.
It was a taboo subject in my country, and I used to get, you know, I used to feel, you know, when I used to visit the hospital in my country also, I used to feel that, you know, it’s quite embarrassing for me, you know, to face all those things because they used to look at me the way, I’m an unusual. They used to ask questions and they used to, you know, it’s a taboo subject, you know, how other people talk all behind you all those things.
You have to leave the country so it was a horrible situation, and I don’t have anyone else, my husband he just arrange this thing the Health department and he requested them, you know, just to give us the time so that he could come, so that he could take my family to London.