Camille

Age at interview: 44
Age at diagnosis: 24
Brief Outline:

Camille had wanted to breastfeed her baby but was not able to do so due to miscommunication and lack of support in the maternity ward.

Background:

Camille is of Black African heritage and works as a nurse. She is in a relationship, and has a 16-year-old child and a nine month old baby.

More about me...

Camille was diagnosed with HIV over 20 years ago when the HIV pregnancy and infant feeding guidelines were very different from now. When she had her first child, she was advised to have a cesarean and formula feed. Although she did not breastfeed her older child, she insisted on a vaginal delivery because she knew she had an undetectable viral load. The guidelines nowadays recommend that pregnant women with an undetectable HIV viral load, should have a vaginal delivery.

Her partner is not living with HIV. She has had some difficulty with him sharing her HIV status with others, without her permission.

When she became pregnant with her new baby, she wanted to breastfeed, and she knew that this was an option for her. However, when she gave birth there was a delay in her milk coming, and she was only able to give her baby some of the colostrum (the fluid your breasts produce in the first few days after birth, it is thick and golden in colour). From the maternity ward she had called a support group for breastfeeding support, but it was out of hours so she could not get the support she needed. The staff on the maternity ward advised her to formula feed, which she did. The next day she began producing lots of milk but the maternity staff told her it was too late and she could no longer switch to breastfeeding.

Camille believes that non-HIV specialists should have more training and support to understand infant feeding within the context of HIV.

Camille felt better supported in breastfeeding decisions by her main midwife who had more knowledge about HIV. She thinks other nurses aren’t trained to deal with HIV.

Camille felt better supported in breastfeeding decisions by her main midwife who had more knowledge about HIV. She thinks other nurses aren’t trained to deal with HIV.

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I don’t particularly blame the nurses because they’re just, they’re just doing what they believe is safe for the baby isn’t it, so they’re not trained to deal with things like this because it’s just general, so if for example the nurses who have a bit of background about people who are HIV positive I don’t think they would have just dealt with it the way it was dealt with no, I believe that if they were trained they would have obviously given me a bit more support. I know how busy it can be on the wards even while I was there I can see how busy like nobody has that time to be patient enough to say ‘okay, let’s wait’ they just want to do it now and get along with it, you know, so the support obviously wasn’t there and because it was out of, I believe that my main midwife out patient, if she was there she would have supported me a bit more because she understands because that’s her speciality, isn’t it, she was with me along the way to say ‘yeah, if you want to breastfeed’, so she was there to support.

Camille felt she wasn’t given a choice about whether to take medication to stop her breastmilk.

Camille felt she wasn’t given a choice about whether to take medication to stop her breastmilk.

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Yeah it wasn’t a problem, he brought it yeah and I love it when things happen to me naturally I’m a believer of natural things, I remember they gave me tablets to dry up the milk and I have a choice isn’t it, I didn’t have to tell them that I just threw it away and let it dry up naturally, you know, you can’t just play with people’s bodies like “take this, do that” I can choose what I want to do, so I threw it away and then once your, don’t breastfeed it stops anyway, I don’t have to take anything to dry up anything, but I didn’t bother to explain to them I just had the choice to throw it away and just let the natural process takes its course, so that’s what I did, so yeah.

Camille wanted to breastfeed to bond with her baby and provide the best possible nutrition.

Camille wanted to breastfeed to bond with her baby and provide the best possible nutrition.

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Because I know that obviously in terms of the nutritional value it’s better than cow’s milk, isn’t it, naturally that’s how it’s supposed to be. So, I wouldn’t have wanted anything else than to give the baby what I know nutritionally is 100% better and not only that the bond, you know, between me and the baby, you know, even just the few times I connecting to each other, you know. So it was, it was a bit emotional for me, you know, that it didn’t happen.

Camille did not have adequate breastfeeding support when her baby was born with jaundice, and the restriction on mixed feeding forced her to switch to formula.

Camille did not have adequate breastfeeding support when her baby was born with jaundice, and the restriction on mixed feeding forced her to switch to formula.

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He had jaundice and the lack of awareness and the nurses who they obviously are not HIV trained background, they did not know how to support me. I did call there was a group there was a lady that gave me the number as well, they also deal with people with HIV and give support in terms of surrounding breastfeeding. I remember that evening I called them, but maybe they were out of office, if they could support me at that time I really, I didn’t want to do it

The first day I breastfed, it was good like I said I was really happy doing it and I was just caught unaware. The decision was just instant, “he needs this amount of fluid” you know, and my milk is not producing it like give me a chance, it didn’t make no difference though, for you to know that it wasn’t necessary because despite the formula milk it still didn’t get rid of the jaundice so I had to stay there again, so the problem was nothing to do with breast milk or anything like that because it still didn’t go, until they did further treatment and by that time the breast milk was gushing out, so the support was really poor.

I’m happy that he’s healthy you know, but what can you do, it didn’t happen the jaundice messed up everything that they would have at least supported me, you know, because just the following morning the breasts were full of milk, because the reason why he was put on the other milk is because they said I wasn’t bringing milk enough but again, that doesn’t even make sense because I think the first day or so the milk sometimes doesn’t come out, so long as you have the liquid gold, so the following day it was obviously a lot, but it was too late because they said that I couldn’t do combination, so once he was started on that one, that’s it, you can’t do both, so I had to just concentrate on the other one.

Camille’s friends protected her when another friend asked why she was not breastfeeding.

Camille’s friends protected her when another friend asked why she was not breastfeeding.

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One of my other friends, when I had my son she was at home, thankfully that day and one of one of my friends came here and then said “Oh [participant name], I’ve never seen you breastfeed this baby” and my friend who is also like me said “oh really, you have not, I’ve seen her countless of times” so that just shut her mouth [laughs]. So she was there at the right time to answer questions, she said “no I’ve seen her many times so you’ve not had the opportunity to see.”