Interview 16

Age at interview: 50

Age at diagnosis: 44

Brief Outline: Testicular cancer (seminoma) diagnosed in 1996, with secondary tumours in the abdomen. Orchidectomy, followed by 4 months of chemotherapy (each cycle over three weeks with one week in hospital, then 2 weeks at home), and 4 weeks (20 treatments) of radiotherapy.

Background: Contract Manager; married, 1 adult child.

Explains that he first experienced severe pain in his back.

Right well initially it started in around early 95 when I started having backache. And initially when I went to the doctor he diagnosed a trapped nerve in my back. And so for about the next eight months he was treating me for a trapped nerve and just giving me sort of painkillers during this time. At that time the sort of, there was no sort of, on the testicles there wasn't any sort of sign that I had anything else, it was just purely backache. And in about April 95 he sent me for a barium scan because he thought it was something to do, I was suffering from constipation and he thought that it was something to do with that. So I had a barium scan in April 95 and that was, there was no problem with that and from then on it just sort of went on. I was still working at the time and the pain and that was just horrendous, I was just sort of total pain. I used to come home, sit in bed, go to bed and just sort of sit upright because I couldn't lie down with the pain. And that carried on, going to the GP and just getting nowhere until round about Christmas of 95 when I saw a stand in doctor. And just at this time the left testicle had swollen up and dropped with the veins expanding.
 

Describes his experience of an MRI scan.

You remembered that you'd had an MRI, a magnetic resonance imaging scan. Can you say a bit about that please?

Yeah that's a bit like, it's like an extended CT scan. You're put into an enclosed tube, very claustrophobic and in my case it was done as a, it was done as sort of an experiment to see what they could actually see in compared to a CT scan. It was like a teaching hospital and they were interested in research. So they inject some dye into your veins, you're in this enclosed unit and you basically, you wear headphones because it's extremely noisy, it's like a magnet that's sort of revolving around you and there's a tremendous clonking noise. And they take a more detailed scan than a CT scan will take. It's, it can be sort of frightening I think because you're sort of, your head is enclosed, it's like being in a cave and you can't see anything and they've got sort of cameras on you so that you now they're looking at you and it's quite an experience really. It didn't actually show up any difference to what they thought anyway from the CT scan so it was just sort of something else that they did.
 

Explains that he found reflexology relaxing and enjoyable.

I mean I suppose (laughs) I was very sceptical and you know just sort of didn't really think that you know you could from manipulating your feet and massaging your feet actually believe that you know people could actually feel where you were feeling, experiencing pain and where there was a problem. But it does, it did actually seem very plausible. And you know she used to feel my foot and say "Oh you've got a pain in your back," for instance and you know most of the time I had got this, a pain in my back or I'd got a headache or such. You know and it was really very good. I found it very relaxing and more often than not I used to fall asleep and she'd wake me up and say you know "We've finished now," sort of thing.

So did the massage to the feet actually affect the pain that you were getting in the back or the head do you think?

I don't know whether it actually, I think it's more a sort of, it makes you feel better. I suppose it does really help you but I don't know whether that's because you just believe it helps you or whether it actually does. I suppose either way if it helps you then you know you're going to take this, you're going to take the, whatever you can get and if it helps then all well and good. And in my case I think it did, it did help and I did enjoy it and it used to relax me when I used to go for these, the reflexology and it was quite you know quite an experience, and quite enjoyable.

Worries that cancer might come back even though he knows that it is most unlikely.

Well I think a lot, you hear a lot of stories and how it affects you and it changes your life but I think in my case (laughs) I don't think it has. I think you know, I don't think it's actually, I think until I actually finish and get discharged I still think, I'm still, I still think that there's a tendency that it might come back and I think until I actually discharge myself I'm still going to think along those lines, I don't think I can, I can't get it out of my mind that it might come back.

Does that prey on your mind a lot?

It does yeah. And I know from all the reading and research that I've done that it shouldn't. I know that I'm sort of cured basically and I know that the chances of it coming back are minuscule. But I suppose I'm just, I've just always got that nagging feeling that it might.

Describes his fear that the cancer may return.

Well I think a lot, you hear a lot of stories and how it affects you and it changes your life but I think in my case (laughs) I don't think it has. I think you know, I don't think it's actually, I think until I actually finish and get discharged I still think, I'm still, I still think that there's a tendency that it might come back and I think until I actually discharge myself I'm still going to think along those lines, I don't think I can, I can't get it out of my mind that it might come back.

Does that prey on your mind a lot?

It does yeah. And I know from all the reading and research that I've done that it shouldn't. I know that I'm sort of cured basically and I know that the chances of it coming back are minuscule. But I suppose I'm just, I've just always got that nagging feeling that it might.