Interview 23 - Carers of people with dementia

Age at interview: 62

Brief Outline:

Has been able to cope with caring for him at home. He attends a day centre and he has regular respite care. Doesn't feel ready to consider full time residential care for him but has felt it necessary to look out for homes which might be suitable.

Background:

Carer who had been a teacher looks after her partner, a former policeman, who has Pick's dementia at home. Diagnosed in 2000. Between them they have 3 children.

Further information about this participant can be found on socialcaretalk.org - Carers of People with Dementia

Her husband's dementia had undermined the equality of their partnership. She reflects on how much he would have hated this situation.

The big ethical decision is I have had to take over [my partner]'s life and that's not what he wanted. As I've told you before when we got together it was as an equal partnership, both, all of our, both of us had grown up children and families away and we got together as equal partners and he did not want anything else. And now that's, that's a problem, it isn't a problem it is a situation that's arisen because of his dementia that he would absolutely hate and detest. But it's inevitable.

You know you could go on about the driving, the money, those are the two, two of the biggest and the loss of, the complete loss of independence. Not being able to go anywhere on his own.