Benjamin - Interview 20
More about me...
In August 2010 Benjamin. went to his GP complaining of a tight and shiny foreskin. It had been like that for about a month and he suspected that he might need to be circumcised. The GP referred him to a urologist who, after taking a biopsy, diagnosed penile cancer. Benjamin underwent a glansectomy and then, following medical advice, had the lymph nodes in his groin removed (lymphadenectomy). Benjamin has been dissatisfied with the outcome of this operation. In the immediate post-operative period about 400mls of fluid was drained from his groins each day. He returned home after ten days and continued with the drainage for five weeks. He continues to be troubled with lymphedema in his groins and lower abdomen.
In 2007 Benjamin had undergone surgery and radiotherapy for bowel cancer. In 2011 he was called back to hospital for a routine check-up and MRI scan. This detected more cancerous cells in his penis which resulted in him undergoing a total penectomy. He wasn’t totally surprised by this as he had been feeling hard lumps in his groins and his penis had retracted. He was discharged after five days and the district nurses took over his care. After two or three visits, as he was mobile, they asked Benjamin to see the nurses at his GP practice instead. At first he visited the practice three times a week, now it is only once a week.
A few days after his discharge from hospital Benjamin decided to drive to a local pub for some lunch. After eating he felt extremely ill, only just managing to get home before collapsing at the bottom of the stairs. It seems he was suffering from an acute bout of food poisoning which impeded his recovery. It hasn’t however put him off eating out as he goes out most lunchtimes. He finds this is preferable to going out a night because by ten o’ clock he feels extremely tired.
When he was first diagnosed with penile cancer Benjamin was given an information booklet about the condition which he found helpful. He told a couple of friends about his condition when he had the glansectomy but has chosen to keep silent on the subject of his penectomy. He considers it an intensely private matter and fears he would be ridiculed by his friends if they found out.
Benjamin feels that his illness and subsequent treatment has had some impact on his daily life but not in a substantial way. He gets very tired in the evening and now has to sit down to use the toilet (which he finds himself visiting a lot during the night). He has discomfort when he sits in his car for any length of time (owing to the lymphedema) and feels that this may curtail his love of motoring holidays. He thinks he may have to substitute his three annual motoring holidays for coach trips instead. He still feels confident about his self-identity and masculinity but his confidence has been dented regarding his mobility. Since having surgery he manages to walk to the local shops, but no further.
Benjamin is currently awaiting a decision from the radiologist as to whether he should have a further course of radiotherapy. There is some indecision about this as he has already undergone one course after surgery for bowel cancer in 2007.
Benjamin told some people that he had part of his glans 'the bell shaped end of his penis' removed but didn't tell anyone about the full removal of his penis because they might make fun of him.
Benjamin told some people that he had part of his glans 'the bell shaped end of his penis' removed but didn't tell anyone about the full removal of his penis because they might make fun of him.
I think for the glansectomy, the first one you know, I think I mentioned that a time or two to some of my friends but other than that I’ve not – I’ve told nobody about the removal. The only folks who know about that are the practice nurses down at the surgery, doctors and whatever, I mean I haven’t told my sister and she’s diplomatic enough not to ask me. She knows I’ve been whatever, yeh, but she never asks me to go into detail so… there we go. It’s my business, I don’t think it’s anybody else’s.
Are you happy with it being like that or would you prefer to have someone who you can talk about your emotions with?
No, I think you know, it’s my business and I don’t need, I don’t want to talk to anybody, friends or relations about it... it’s just there.
Well it’s a bit private isn’t it? And it’s a bit delicate. What do I say? Well you know I can’t go out and say to the mates “hey, I’ve just had my penis taken off” because they’d just take the mickey wouldn’t they? [chuckles] It’s my thoughts and my decision, I’m telling, I’ve told nobody. As I say there are folks who know, obviously the nurses and doctors. I’ll say this about the practice nurses down there, nobody laughed [chuckles].