Steve
When Steve first met his wife, over 30 years ago, she had already had ECT for depression. During various periods of depression, she had ECT when nothing else worked. Only recently has Steve described himself as a ‘carer’ and says that there are long periods in between episodes of depression where his wife is well.
Steve is a graphic designer, is married and has two children. He describes his wife’s ethnic background as White British.
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Steve’s first experience of serious mental health problems was over 30 years ago when he met his wife. His wife had already experienced mental health issues before they met and had already been treated for depression using ECT. Steve thinks that ECT has worked for her when nothing else has. He described how there used to be ‘a positive response’ within days of his wife having ECT, and that within a week she showed signs of a ‘strong recovery’. During these early admissions to hospital, Steve received guidance from his wife’s parents, as they had had previous experience of their daughter’s condition and treatment. He would also find out about ECT through his wife’s account, not via clinicians.
Steve described how although his wife was diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder, “99%” of the episodes were when she was depressed. His wife would experience suicidal thoughts, not want to wake up in the morning and go into ‘a complete black hole’. In the early days, she was treated at a private hospital close to where they lived. He described how the psychiatrist usually made the decision to perform ECT within a week of her admission and she would have around six sessions of ECT. Later, his wife experienced a period of postnatal depression. After ECT treatment she had to be reminded what her second child looked like. He thinks her memory was significantly affected in the short-term but Steve thought that that memory loss may have helped her get over depression in first instance, helping ‘jump start’ her out of depression.
Steve felt that his wife’s depression can come seemingly out of the blue, and that there are long periods between episodes where she is not depressed. When she was depressed, his main responsibility was to take over the care of their two children. Now the children are grown up, he relies on them as well for support and understanding when his wife becomes unwell. It has been only recently Steve began to think of himself as a “carer”. He met with his local MIND group and was told he was entitled a bursary for a break. Steve has preferred talking to people one on one, and not with a group.
Now one of his roles is to notice signs of when his wife is starting to over organise lots of activities i.e. when she starts to become unwell, and to step in and cancel some of her arrangements for her. Although he feels able to speak to friends about his wife’s mental health, Steve has been a little more cautious about telling people his wife works with about her mental health. He has found that previously people have been a bit ’squeamish’ about ECT and that they didn’t know very much about it.
Steve’s wife is now treated by the NHS. She is treated as an outpatient which Steve prefers as he thinks the atmosphere in the wards isn’t therapeutic. He had difficulty arranging transport for his wife after the ECT sessions, as he wasn’t always available to pick her up. Steve gets the impression that ECT is increasingly used as a ‘last resort’, and yet is the only treatment that has really worked for his wife’s depression. He also has noticed that whereas she used to respond within the first few treatments to ECT, she now has 10 treatments and may only respond after the course has finished. His wife gets anxious when ECT no longer works as fast as it used to.
Steve googled his wife’s condition and found that things listed for ‘the signs of depression’ were similar to his wife’s illness. He found internet forums for carers interesting.
Steve googled his wife’s condition and found that things listed for ‘the signs of depression’ were similar to his wife’s illness. He found internet forums for carers interesting.
Steve describes how his wife’s depression looked ‘from the outside’. There were peaks and troughs, but when it got bad she usually had ECT and felt a lot better within a week of being home.
Steve describes how his wife’s depression looked ‘from the outside’. There were peaks and troughs, but when it got bad she usually had ECT and felt a lot better within a week of being home.
Although Steve wasn’t able to attend any meetings he was in contact with his local MIND group, which organises meetings for carers. He wasn’t sure it would be beneficial to him and had mixed feelings about groups.
Although Steve wasn’t able to attend any meetings he was in contact with his local MIND group, which organises meetings for carers. He wasn’t sure it would be beneficial to him and had mixed feelings about groups.
And then I had an interview with them, with MIND, a person from MIND, and basically they were then telling me about the MIND setup and did I want to go… They were basically just telling me what was available to me as a carer in terms, they were starting up local meetings basically and they were going to have an introductory day. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to go to any of them because they were when I was either working or on holiday, but I’ll probably try and get to one or two of them, but I think they were kind of groups. They were putting together groups of other carers to get together, and just exchange knowledge and give advice I suppose, but there were quite sort of casual type things going on, but that was my sort of introduction to the carers meetings, yes.
And I know you said you haven’t been able to get to the carers meetings since?
I haven’t no.
What are your thoughts on having a bit more of a, I guess formalised involvement, in that sense?
I probably wouldn’t be that keen on sitting with a group, but I suppose something smaller than that, you know, I don’t mind talking to people in the profession to, to give them my experience whatever that is, but no I think the group thing would be too wide an area, it would be just people there from completely different areas of care to myself. I’m not sure how beneficial it would be. I might go to one, just to see what it’s like, but I’ve got sort of mixed feelings about it really.
Steve’s wife first had ECT in the 1970s and has had several courses of ECT treatments over the years. Steve thinks that although ECT does work, she now seems to need more treatments before she responds.
Steve’s wife first had ECT in the 1970s and has had several courses of ECT treatments over the years. Steve thinks that although ECT does work, she now seems to need more treatments before she responds.
But I guess in the early days when she was younger, she noticed it almost immediately, and she would tell you sometimes, even after one treatment of ECT she would definitely get a sort of buzz, a positive effect from it and I guess that’s what she looks back to, and she measures that by what she’s having, had recently, but yes.
When Steve’s wife was transferred from a private to an NHS hospital he noticed it wasn’t a relaxing environment for her. He felt it was better for her, and for the NHS, when she had ECT as an outpatient.
When Steve’s wife was transferred from a private to an NHS hospital he noticed it wasn’t a relaxing environment for her. He felt it was better for her, and for the NHS, when she had ECT as an outpatient.
So the rest of the time she was just waiting there for the next episode.
Steve said he didn’t really consider himself a carer, more a husband.
Steve said he didn’t really consider himself a carer, more a husband.
Hm.
Would you the first time when you were getting advice of your wife’s parents, and your wife’s first admission, have described yourself as a carer then?
No. And it’s only recently I’ve been, I’m calling myself a carer, because my wife’s psychiatrist and the local MIND group have referred to me as a carer. I never really considered myself to be a carer. She’s my wife, my partner, and that’s just part of, that’s just the way life is, you know, and I know it’s a corny thing wedding vows, but sickness and health, I mean it could have been me. And you know, it’s just the way it is and she’s the one now and again with the illness and when she has the illness then I try and you know, do what I can to not so much look after her, but just juggle the other things that have to be done when she’s not here. So I don’t really see myself as a carer and it’s only recently that I’ve started using that term I suppose.