I did have to deal with it in a special way with both of them because one of my sons has separation anxiety disorder, and he actually does worry about me constantly dying. It’s the phase that they go through, and that I’m not going to be here when he comes back. And due to a difficult marriage break up and things that in the past, that have happened in our personal life, he’s more worried about that now and closer than ever to me.
And so it was a very, very difficult situation and I had to think about how I was going to tell them. I had to get over the shock myself, and then I had to think about it. So on the way back from my diagnosis I decided to tell my autistic son, because he was well on the ball, he knew I was going to hospital and he knew that they were taking out these bad things from Mum and that. But what I told him was that they’ve got some, you know, I bounced around the kitchen as I told him, and I said, “Now they’ve got some cells in there,” I said, “but they’re not that good, and they’re going to take them out. And it’s going to be over and done with in no time, and everything’s going to be fine.” And I left it like that. And he was fine with it, he was great. He didn’t worry about anything, and I thought good, I’ve dealt with it that way.
And so the same again with the other one. Now of course when they told me that there was more there, I knew that I had to tell them because who knows what it could progress to and, to be honest, I felt really, I didn’t feel right not telling them, and you can’t keep something like that from your children. You can’t you because where’s the trust, you need a lot of trust in a family and we’ve always had that. We’ve always been open and been able to tell each other anything, and I think that’s what you need to be doing in that case.
So I knew that I needed to know how to do it. So I just chose one day, and funnily enough it just, it was meant to be, because this was the day I was going to tell them and I’d been researching myself that particular day, but because I had a very nosy young child who’s always wanting to see who I’m talking to or what I’m looking at, and I think deep down inside he’s a very bright young man, knows full well that I’m researching something to do with breast cancer. So he says to me, “Mum,” he said, “He said you’re researching a lot,” I said, “I know,” I said, “I’m doing it for a friend.” He said, “Oh Mum,” he said, “Give me a bit more credit than that.” He’s eleven years of age. And I said, “Well guess what. I am, but I am also researching for myself.”
It was as if it was meant to be because I knew one way or another he was going to suss things out, because you just can’t keep it from them. So it was my opportunity, and I said, “Right okay,” I said, “Guess what, I’m researching it for a friend who wants me to research it for myself also, because there’s a possibility that I have the cancer cells there.” And I did it with such a, you know, a bubbly outgoing attitude, and I said, “And guess what, you’ve seen me now, since I’ve been to the hospital for the last 3, 4 weeks, and what have I been like?” He said, “Mum you’ve been fantastic.” I said, “Exactly.” And I said, “Guess what, that’s how I’m going to stay.” I said, “Because this is just another challenge that we’re going to get through.” I said, “We’re going to do it together.” I said, “How about that,” I said, “And what are we?”
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