Elizabeth - Interview 21
Elizabeth had a wide local excision, radiotherapy and is taking tamoxifen for five years. Work helped her to stay positive and focussed throughout.
Elizabeth is a single nurse and ward manager. Ethnic background / nationality' West Indian
More about me...
Elizabeth was diagnosed with DCIS in 2007 after her first routine mammogram at the age of 49. She was a nurse and had her tests conducted in the hospital in which she worked. She found waiting for the biopsy results worrying and got the results while she was at work. After hearing that she had DCIS, Elizabeth went back on duty. She didn’t feel like talking to anybody about the diagnosis because she was taking in the news herself and dealing with it the best way she could. She said, ‘I went into this mode of just dealing with everything by myself and not talking to anybody about it, apart from a couple of people like my carers or my boss.’
Elizabeth is taking tamoxifen for five years and said she didn’t like taking it or the side effect she was experiencing (perspiring). She said her job kept her busy throughout the time she had DCIS and that, now, she sometimes forgets she ever had it.
Elizabeth was interviewed for the Healthtalkonline website in 2008.
Elizabeth, a nurse, said it was only when she developed painful symptoms that she found out she'd woken up during the anaesthetic, but wasn't worried or angry.
Elizabeth, a nurse, said it was only when she developed painful symptoms that she found out she'd woken up during the anaesthetic, but wasn't worried or angry.
I was sitting waiting with the wire stuck in, yeah, sort of…. But it wasn't unpleasant. I was just worried about waking up and ironic she said we wake everyone up, but then I didn't, I woke up before I was due to wake up.
How did that feel, waking up? Did you knew where you were?
Elizabeth, a nurse, worked throughout her three weeks of radiotherapy. She found it tiring but ate as healthily as she could and drank lots of water.
Elizabeth, a nurse, worked throughout her three weeks of radiotherapy. She found it tiring but ate as healthily as she could and drank lots of water.
The hospital where I worked was much more convenient for me. So I had this hospital.
Yeah. And you noticed that during this time you were a bit more tired than usual, or.
I think it was just, the whole thing was, because I used to leave home at five-thirty in the morning.
And not get back home until?
And not get back home sometimes until about six in the evening. But sometimes I was lucky, I would get home by noon or even earlier sometimes. Because I think the girls at the hospital were pretty helpful and pretty understanding so they would make it, sometimes they would change my appointments for me. And I think out of the whole three weeks, I only had about two afternoon sessions. Most of them were in the morning where I could just come in and have my session and go straight home afterwards. But still putting in an hour into my computer just to get my work up to date, you know, so.
Yeah. Did you know what to expect with the radiotherapy?
I didn't no. I didn't know what to expect. I was told I had to drink lots of fluids, had to keep my immune system up. And I wasn't quite sure how I was going to do that because I'm not a very good drinker, I never drink and I never eat.
So through the day you don't drink much water?
Elizabeth, a nurse, felt anxious when she hadn't received an appointment for radiotherapy. She was also concerned about the possible effects of radiotherapy on her heart and would have liked reassurance.
Elizabeth, a nurse, felt anxious when she hadn't received an appointment for radiotherapy. She was also concerned about the possible effects of radiotherapy on her heart and would have liked reassurance.
And the bit about the radiotherapy may affect my heart, that used to give me a panic attack at night when I first had it because I used to think, “Oh my goodness me.” You know, I think they’d zap my heart because it's not beating as it should do. But then I still snap out of it, you know, because I could have been ringing NHS Direct every night after having my radiotherapy just telling them that I think my heart has been zapped because they told me it could affect me. But I’m a very, in that sense of the word, I'm very controlled and just think, “Right, you rang them two nights running, you'll have to stop this, this is not going to be good enough. You know, there's nothing wrong with your heart, just get on with it.” And that's what, and then I never rang them again so.
You rang them and did you feel reassured from the call or …
Well, I never got through,
Oh right, you just talked to yourself about….
Elizabeth, a nurse, said she had all the information she needed and it was easy to read and understand.
Elizabeth, a nurse, said she had all the information she needed and it was easy to read and understand.
Did you at any point look up more information about DCIS or breast cancer generally?
To be quite honest I looked up nothing, I read nothing. I didn't want to know anything. I just dealt with it as they were looking after me. I just left it all to them.
You trusted them.
I trusted them and I didn't do anything. I didn't read anything. I didn't look up anything. I didn't ask any questions at all.
You just felt you didn't need to know?
Some people do not know what to say or ask inappropriate questions. Since coming to live in the UK she has learnt to be self-sufficient but has one friend who is a very good listener.
Some people do not know what to say or ask inappropriate questions. Since coming to live in the UK she has learnt to be self-sufficient but has one friend who is a very good listener.
I think some people just can't talk about it. And some people don't know what to say, and some people overdo it. So it's you as an individual has to take the person or the persons that, the people that you know that you can pull from, the people who are going to still make you laugh and not give you gloom and doom about the internet. You know, about the internet and I've read so and so and I've read so and so and oh my god and does that mean? You don't, you know, need that, you know. And what about if you’re supposed to meet a man and make love to the person, do you know, it’s, “What do you think?” Like you don't need people asking you those questions. You just have to, you know, pick the people that matter most.
And who can support you in the way that you need.
That you need to be supported. I think the reason why I cope the way I coped is because I've been in this country for an awfully long time and I came to this country by myself. And because I never had a mum and dad, you have to do everything for yourself. And so there aren't many moments to cry and to feel sorry for yourself and say, “Look, you know, …” whether it's to do with money, whether it's do with a bad day at work, you know, there's nobody there. So you just have to get up and do it yourself.
Elizabeth, a nurse, chose not to tell many people because she said the word 'cancer' frightens and upsets people. Work helped her cope because it kept her busy.
Elizabeth, a nurse, chose not to tell many people because she said the word 'cancer' frightens and upsets people. Work helped her cope because it kept her busy.
Actually I was on duty when I got that result. I went to see the consultant by myself, got the results by myself and came back on duty because I didn't feel I wanted to talk to anybody at that time, I felt I wanted to deal with it the best way I could because I feel that sometimes when you talk to people, I think the word ‘cancer’ sets everybody thinking you're going to die anyway, you're not going to have very long. And I think your emotions run riot anyway because 1) you're waiting for some results, 2), you're not sure when you have the surgery what they're going to find, so that brings anxiety in itself much less to having people coming up to you, depending on how many people you tell, touching or hugging or you know.