Interview 31

Age at interview: 53

Brief Outline:

Had first routine mammogram in 2001, which was clear. 4 months later discovered a cancerous lump, that hadn't shown up on earlier mammograms. Treated for invasive breast cancer.

Background:

A secretary, married, with 2 adult children.

Her first mammogram was normal but a breast lump she found a few months later was cancerous.

I went for a mammogram in 2001, I think it was in October time. And I was delighted to hear I'd got the all clear. It came back fine, there was nothing on the mammogram. My friend had been diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks before me and she had gone for her mammogram as well but that's when they found a shadowy area on the mammogram which they were suspicious of. It turned out actually she was diagnosed then with breast cancer and I was devastated for [my friend] but at the same time I was relieved for myself that mine was clear. So, everything was fine until February the following year, 2002. And I found a lump in my left breast. I must say I'm not very good at examining my breasts on a regular basis but, I was actually reading in bed one night and got a funny sensation, actually just ran my hand over my left breast and found what I thought was a lump.

As time wore on and I was left waiting and waiting and I was called in to see the doctor. Well I think really I knew then that, what the diagnosis was, and I was told it was breast cancer. That was on a Tuesday and on Friday of the same week I saw a consultant who advised me to have a mastectomy, a full mastectomy. Which I decided to go for. So I was booked in for surgery inside a couple of weeks. 

Was upset that her cancer was not detected in an earlier mammogram, but accepts that mammograms...

A few years later then, when you turned fifty you had your first letter? 

Yes, for screening yes, aha.

And that one was totally clear?

Yes. Yes. 

And you just had a letter a few weeks later did you?

Yes, I must say now, I did, I felt very upset, I was very annoyed that when I was told by the consultant that I had breast cancer I thought, this can't be, how can this be? My mammogram was clear. But he informed me that there are some types of tumours, in his words, they hide, they can hide from a mammogram and a mammogram will not detect them, so that really worried me as well. I thought, well what's the point of having a mammogram if they can't detect all types of breast cancer? But I've been told, and I didn't really believe it at first, but from more information that I've read, that this can happen and it's just, it's one of the risks you take.

So that very first mammogram you had, that was in October?

October 2001.  

And then, just about four months later?

Yes, I found a lump myself.

Discusses having check-ups but didn't know what they would involve.

And after that, did you go for three-monthly check-ups or'?

Yes, three-monthly check-ups with the plastic surgeon, with the consultant and with my oncologist. And they gradually reduced then to every six months and I'm now down to every year. And a mammogram, I have a mammogram every year as well. 

So you have a mammogram every year. When you go for the check-ups, what do they do during the check-up? 

It's really just, they're very, very quick, they really just ask me, "How are you feeling? Is everything ok? Have you any worries, any concerns?" and I get, it's a full examination of both breasts and under my arms as well. And they sometimes do my lymph glands here and my neck and my back. 

Though her cancer hadn't shown up on mammogram, she supports breast screening.

So, in your words, what are your opinions about screening because in your case it wasn't picked up? 

I know, I must say at first I was really angry and hurt and I really was upset, why? Why was mine not picked up? But I would tell all women to go for breast screening, I really would, you know and I continue to go myself. I think it's something you just have to do. 

So, at one point you were thinking, well the mammogram didn't pick up anything, didn't pick up your cancer, what's the point of having it, but you've changed your views?

I have, I have because I say my friend, I mean hers was detected by a mammogram, so I suppose like everything else, that there's, nothing is one hundred per cent accurate, you know, and there'll always be, well I won't say mistakes about myself, but there'll always be ones that go undetected, you know. And I must say, I'm not very good, and never was very good at examining my breasts on a regular basis, but I do try and do it more often. 

She had a cyst which was aspirated and didn't return.

I had a cyst, I found a lump, there again it was the left breast, and I found a lump, this would have been about 1991/92. And I was in bed there again, I was in bed one night and I found this lump. And I remember looking at my husband and he was sound asleep, and I thought, oh my God, breast cancer, I've got breast cancer and I had myself dead and buried in a couple of months because of that. The age, I didn't know a lot about breast cancer, and thought it's, it'll never happen to me. I went to the doctor the next day, who, it was quite painful, the lump was quite painful, and she assured me that it, most likely, it would be a benign cyst, so I was referred to just our local hospital. And they did a biopsy, yes, and it was just a cyst. But the doctor, the hospital doctor told me that usually if it's cancerous the lump, it's usually a hard lump, like a pea, and there's no feeling in it. So she said that, "It's a good thing at least yours is painful, and if it's painful it's more likely to be a cyst." So that was fine, so for all those years afterwards. I just didn't give it another thought.

Did that feel soft that lump or..? 

The lump I found, cancerous or the cyst? 

The cyst.  

Yes, it did, it did, aha, as I say it was quite tender and painful. But once I'd had that removed, it was just a needle they did, to remove it with. I was fine and I say I didn't think about breast cancer an awful lot. 

So, was it just like a syringe to take the lump out?

Like a syringe, yes. Try and think of the word for it, aspirated, that's it yes, yes, they aspirated it aha. And I had a follow-up mammogram, and that was it, I didn't have anything else until I became....

Colleagues were an important source of information about breast cancer and screening.

Had you read much about breast screening or breast cancer at that stage? 

No, no I hadn't, I hadn't. 

Was it a subject that ever came up with friends or not really? 

It did come up because I work with a girl and she had been diagnosed when she was just 29. It recurred and I think she was maybe in her late forties, early fifties and we all knew that she'd gone through breast cancer and was going for regular check-ups. And we all sympathised with her but she was fantastic, she just got on with her life and was very, very good. So we were aware of that, or I was aware of that but it was just one of those things, just, it'll never happen to me. You know, it'll never happen to me, it's somebody else's problem. 

She had read about other people's experiences of breast cancer in a book.

Another friend who's actually a nurse, gave me a very good book and I wish, I can't remember the name of it but it was very good, and it's about different experiences of breast cancer. And a lot of these people were celebrities so it was, oh I'm trying to think of the actress, Lisa Goddard, Carly Simon, the singer, plus ordinary people, just ordinary people like myself.

And I thought, oh it was going to be a, what's the word I'm trying to say? condescending sort of type of a book, you know, and I thought, I don't want to read this. But I must say when I started to read it, I really got, it was fantastic. It really was very, very positive and very upbeat and everything. Plus they did, they were very honest and said they'd gone through the same things I had gone through, with the chemotherapy, with everyone feeling depressed whatever. So I say, I found that very, very good. 

She needed to blame her cancer on something and put it down to HRT.

I think it's been helpful to me, I think it's helpful to most women if they can blame it [breast cancer] on something. And I went on to, I went through quite an early menopause and was having problems and my doctor, I actually went to my doctor and asked if I could be put onto HRT. A friend of mine, work colleague again and friends, had been, they were on HRT and they were saying it was fantastic, they felt amazing, they weren't getting the mood swings which I was getting, and the hot flushes, you know, and irregular periods whatever.

And I went to my doctor, my own GP, and he was very good. He talked me through the pros and the cons, and said he wasn't too keen on me going onto HRT, and he did say that it caused, there was a risk of breast cancer. And it was just, I took on board for a while, but then I came away and the mood swings started again, and irregular periods, whatever. 

And there again, my work colleagues and friends were saying, "Go onto HRT, you have a right to go on it." And "Sure, it's fantastic, there's only a very small risk for breast cancer." So I went back to him again, and he really wasn't too keen on prescribing the HRT. So that was twice, so a third time I thought, I don't care what he says, I want HRT. So when I went to see him he was on holiday, and it was a locum GP and she didn't hesitate and she put me on HRT right away. 

So I was on HRT for I think just coming up to three years, yeah, just yes, just coming up to three years. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer I was told immediately to stop taking HRT. So I thought, well bearing in mind my lifestyle, and I don't smoke and you know, I thought, it must be the HRT. So [sighs] it helped me being able to blame the breast cancer on something, so I blamed the HRT. It mightn't have been that. My surgeon and another doctor did say that three years wouldn't be a long enough time to cause breast cancer on HRT but who knows, you know?