Interview 13

Age at interview: 56
Brief Outline:

Had benign lump around age 42, which was surgically removed. Attends for routine breast screening. Results have been normal.

Background:

Self-employed, married with no children.

More about me...

Her naturally lumpy breasts sometimes make her mammograms difficult to read.

Her naturally lumpy breasts sometimes make her mammograms difficult to read.

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Okay the one before this time, I went to Hospital and they did the mammogram and then they called be back in for another mammogram, you know they said "wait outside" and when they called me back in again I thought oh gosh what's happening. And that's when they decided that my breasts were naturally lump, that's when that all came about. My breasts are naturally lumpy. Sorry I forget things now and again. But I did get scared, when the said wait outside for your results and then they said oh we want to do another mammogram then I kind of went oh oh here we go.

So they did another one and sent you back home? 

No, they did another one, then they called me in to see the consultant and he felt me just to check me out and it was he who said that I'm naturally lumpy and they don't want to see me again so great. 

And you got a letter two weeks later or three weeks later was it? 

Yeah, confirming that I'm fine.

She wondered if having larger breasts would make mammograms more painful.

She wondered if having larger breasts would make mammograms more painful.

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I didn't know what to expect and I was quite surprised when this machine squeezed me so hard, I thought Oh God, you know [laughs]. It doesn't hurt but it's not very comfortable and I was amazed at how flat your bosom could go, do you know what I mean. It doesn't hurt but it's not something you enjoy.

They make you feel comfortable. They do it as quickly as they can because the pressure they put on your breast is quite intense for the moment but it doesn't last long, it's very quick so I wouldn't like bigger bosoms, I think it must be harder for people with bigger breasts, I don't know, maybe it is I don't know.

Smear tests bother her more than mammograms.

Smear tests bother her more than mammograms.

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They're very good, they know what they're doing. They must know it's not particularly pleasant having your bosom squeezed to bits so they're quick and they're good you know, they're very good.

So now you go for mammograms every three years. You've never missed an appointment. Do you also go for other kinds of screening as well like cervical smear tests?

Smear tests, yes I do. Now those I don't like but I still go, I dread those, when I get my appointment I think oh God, whereas I don't think that about the mammogram I just think oh I've got a mammogram but with the cervical smear I think oh God and I really don't look forward to it [laughs].

She does not worry about her mammogram results until they arrive.

She does not worry about her mammogram results until they arrive.

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Before getting the results if it's two to three weeks, do you worry in that two to three weeks?

No, no I don't, I give it a thought and then I forget about it and then all of a sudden the letter comes and I think oh oh. Just before I open it I think oh, but I've been lucky.

She was very scared until she was told her breast lump was benign.

She was very scared until she was told her breast lump was benign.

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Did you think a lot about it or did you manage to keep your mind focused on other things?

At first I was terrified thinking oh God, you know I'm going to die or you know, worse scenario, I think, I actually think if I'm really honest, you, you think oh God I've got breast cancer, I'm going to die and you have to get your head round that, you think well if I'm going to die, I'm going to die, do you know what I'm saying. So you kind of like you think well I've just got to get on with it, you learn to accept. You live in hope that it's not you that's going to get it but you kind of think well I have to accept it if it is. 

Is there anything you know now that you wished you'd know then when you were going through the anxiety and the worry. What could have made it less for you?

The only thing that could make it less for me was to know that it was benign because I think that the moment you have a lump, until you're told it's not dangerous you'll worry, and I don't care who you are I think you'll worry. Yes benign was the best word I could hear and so until then no you worry. Okay you live with it and you get on with your life but at the back of your mind you think oh God you know. It's there. 

She felt anxious when she found a lump because she thought it was cancerous.

She felt anxious when she found a lump because she thought it was cancerous.

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Well a lump, you can't really miss I don't think, it poked out at me, just, I wasn't even looking for it, I never checked myself and the minute I found it I thought 'I have cancer' which I suppose everybody does. So obviously I went, I got an appointment and I was sent to the [hospital] up in London and they did a mammogram of course and they made, they went in with an injection and pulled out some cells.  

But I couldn't miss it, it pointed out at me and I just immediately thought oh I must have cancer, you always think the worst don't you. People said things like "oh if you can move it then it's a cyst and da, da, da".  Everyone said different things but in your head you think right I've got cancer. I'm not really a pessimist but then I was, but luckily enough it wasn't. 

At that time you thought it might be cancer. How did you feel before you went into the screening unit?

Very nervous, very nervous, well it changes your life, you think the results when I come out of here can change my life and obviously it wasn't an immediate thing, I had to go back a few times, they were kind of monitoring me, scanning it, mammogram, they were doing various things, x-raying it and I think they obviously weren't sure.