Mary - Interview 02

Age at interview: 72

Brief Outline: Mary often finds it very difficult to get to sleep, sometimes taking up to an hour to fall asleep. Mary finds that relaxation and meditation exercises help her to fall asleep, and help her get back to sleep if she wakes up in the night. Even if she has not had a good night Mary finds it impossible to take a nap during the day, although she may put her feet up in bed to have a rest instead. Mary hasn't been to the doctor about her sleep, but has tried some over the counter remedies.

Background: Married, 2 children, Renal Social Worker (part-time)

More about me...

Mary currently works part-time as a Renal Social Worker, a job she finds very interesting and which involves meeting many people. She is married with 2 children and six grandchildren.

 

Mary noticed a change in the quality of her sleep after the menopause, although thinks her sleep may well have not been very good ever since having children. Mary had bad asthma as a child and this also caused her problems sleeping. Occasionally her asthma bothers her now, usually if she has a cold. Mary finds it very difficult to fall asleep and tries relaxation and meditation techniques to help with this. Sometimes though, when she can’t get to sleep Mary puts the television on or listens to the radio, although she finds the radio better for helping her get to sleep because the television is too stimulating.

 

Pain from arthritis means Mary does have more disturbed sleep because she has to change positions in the night. The pain from a recent second knee replacement has made sleep even more difficult for Mary. Swimming and gentle exercise during the day help with the pain from arthritis and Mary feels she does sleep better if she has been swimming.

Mary has tried several different remedies for her sleep, but found by accident that antihistamines work well for her and so she continues to take them.

I have tried Nytol. I have tried the herbs. I have tried various things I think like that. But they made me feel a bit funny. The only thing I really like are the antihistamines.

 

So how long have you been taking antihistamines?

 

Quite a long time I should think about fifteen years on and off.

 

Okay how did you find they worked, how did you find out about it?

 

I think I can’t remember how I found out. I think I must have had some kind of allergy and had them and found that they worked. With the asthma maybe I had hay fever or something and somebody gave them. But obviously some antihistamines don’t make you feel drowsy but I obviously choose the ones that do.

 

Yes.

 

And I think the doctor once gave them to me because I occasionally one itches in all sorts of places and occasionally I think you get prescribed Piriton for that. So that might have been one of the times when it was prescribed.

 

But you didn’t find the Nytol worked for example. The herbal Nytol?

 

I didn’t like it. No I don’t know why I didn’t like it. I think may be it made me feel funny.

 

Feel funny the next day or when you took it?

 

Hm. I have tried Melatonin too, because melatonin is something if you travel a lot is supposed to be helpful.

 

Where you get that from?

 

You can only get it in America. Our Australian relations gave me some yes.

 

Did that work for you?

 

That wasn’t bad.

 

Because it doesn’t work for everybody?

 

Not as good a Piriton.

 

It sounds like you have tried a few things. Anything else, like lavender pillows or lavender…?

 

I had a lavender pillow somebody gave me once, and I don’t know if it made much difference. I think pillows do make a lot of difference actually. 

Mary and her husband sleep better when they don't share a bedroom, although they still do occasionally share the bed when their dog isn't in the room.

A hard pillow does stop you sleeping and also getting very hot at night. And with the menopause of course I got very hot and I still do get very hot and that is another reason why my husband and I don’t share a bedroom most of the time because I like the window wide open and he likes it shut.

 

Do you get hot in the night?

 

He gets cold. He is very thin and I am plump. So it works.

 

How long have you had separate beds?

 

Not all that long. We shared a double bed. We do occasionally. We do have a double bed together when the dog isn’t in the way.

 

But then you sleep better?

 

When I am with him?

 

When you are not with him?

 

I sleep better. I worry about waking him up. We are both quite light sleepers.  

 

Mary's dog sleeps on her bed and she is sometimes aware of him stirring and sighing in the night.

I have arthritis so that means I keep changing my position at night. And I also have asthma but that is under control with inhalers, except when I get a cold. Then it does keep me awake at night sometimes.

 

Does it cause you problems?

 

Otherwise I am fine and then I tend to wake up probably most hours, every hour and just look at the clock and turn over and go to sleep again. I have the dog with me, but he doesn’t interrupt me at all. I sometimes interrupt him. So he stirs and sighs.

 

Does he sleep on your bed then?

 

Yes he does. Yes. Yes. poodles are like that.

 

Here he comes on cue. Hello Toffee!

 

I am sure he would like to be on camera. So that is what I do. And then I would sleep on in the morning. I am not so good in the morning. But my husband comes in to get the dog about six and then takes him for a walk about seven. So that interrupts me and sometimes I turn the radio on and just listen. That sometimes sends me to sleep again. 

Mary doesn't see poor sleep as an illness so she would only see her doctor for problems sleeping during difficult times, such as bereavement.

Do you ever see a point when you sleep deteriorates that you might have to do something about it. I mean how bad would it have to be for you to go to the doctors and say I am really not sleeping well?

 

It would have to be quite bad. I don’t think I would go to the doctor about it. I don’t regard it as an illness or a problem. It is annoying not to sleep. Because one feels one ought to be sleeping because it is a waste of time really just lying there not sleeping, but no – well I would have to be quite bad. Well I mean, I think I do envisage a time, if I was bereaved, if I lost my husband. I would want sleeping tablets. I think I wouldn’t sleep. I know I wouldn’t sleep then.

Mary realised she had never slept very well, and that this may be because of having bad asthma as a child.

Well… no, there wasn’t a strict routine at all but I had very bad asthma as a child. So probably I didn’t sleep very well. I have never thought about it actually until you mentioned it this moment but no I got a lot of asthma. I was off school a lot.

 

Because the treatment then wasn’t so good?

 

Oh Ephedrine they gave you. They boiled kettles and things. And my Father would spend a lot of time helping me. At night actually. I remember that now. I hadn’t thought. I may have never slept very well.

 

Although actually when I was about fifteen my asthma sort of stopped until it came back when I was about forty. So I did have some time. But then I had the children so may be there wasn’t, may be in my twenties I slept well.

Mary also wasn't sure whether it was the menopause that was the start of her sleeping problems, or having to be alert listening for her children.

Can you think back to when this type of sleep you have got now…?

 

I think it started with the menopause. Although I think it might have started when I had children. I mean I think once you have children you are much more alert to waking up. I don’t remember before having children having any problems with sleep at all. And then I remember waking up with the children but mostly it is since the menopause.

 

You have had more disturbed sleep you are saying. And what about getting to sleep. The time it takes you to get to sleep. When did you notice that?

 

When did that start? Probably in the last ten years I think. I haven’t really sort of analysed it.

 

So it was like a gradual onset?

 

It was a gradual onset yes and it is not because I have been particularly worrying about anything although of course we all know that once we start thinking about things that keeps us awake more than anything else. So I try very hard to shut up, shut off and forget anything that might be worrying me.