Cervical Screening

Well first you have a brief consultation with the, with the doctor who reviews where you are and when you last came and so on. Then you're asked to go next door and take off your lower garments, if you've got a dress on you can keep that or if you've just got trousers on you take those and your underwear off and you wear a gown. 

Then you come back in and you sit on a sort of short couch and that, when you're sitting on it you slide your bottom down to the end of it and your legs are put in kind of like people, one imagines people used to be delivered of child, your knees are hooked over a support so your knees are in the air and then the couch is raised and the doctor sits at the end of it. There's, where I have mine there's a TV camera system so that the examination, the inside of your vagina, whatever, is shown on the screen in rather gory detail which you can or you may, don't have to look at. And if you want, what is seen can be explained to you on the screen. 

I've had varying kind of responses, sometimes I feel I'd rather not look at that and sometimes I have a look at it and it's shown to me what, what it means. There are often, because this is a teaching hospital where I go, often medical students present and I'm always asked if that's okay and I always say it is okay as it's very important for them to have learning experience, particularly important to be with a very good doctor who has very good way of handling patients in that situation. 

And the procedure is there's an insertion of a spatula I think to take a smear and later there's an application of a solution of vinegar to the walls of the vagina because I think that solution helps the, show up the cellular formulation. May be it comes before the smear does it, I think it comes while it's looked at on the camera and that stings a little bit but only, only mildly it's quite bearable. 

And it's very brief and I think there's a nurse attending who slightly mops you up if you need mopping up and you slide, the couch is lowered, you slide off it and go next door and get dressed and then come back and talk to the doctor again and another appointment is made if you need one. And you're told that you'll get the results of the examination in a couple of weeks. Sometimes that happens, sometimes it doesn't. 

It was not an unpleasant experience. The clinic was situated in the maternity unit. It was very calm, it was very well organised. I imagined I'd be kept hanging about for a long time because one generally is on this sort of visit. But once I'd registered my presence I was told there'd be a 15 minute wait or so, I was probably early. And I had a cup of tea and was called in due course. 

I was then taken into a separate waiting room from the main waiting room for that particular clinic. I was the only patient there along with a secretary and other administration staff I suppose. A bright, cheery pleasant room, lots to read on the walls and was then introduced to the nurse, before the doctor, who took me through what was going to happen and asked me if I had any worries, about the procedure rather than the condition, or potential condition. And then went in for the treatment after a short while. It was very organised, very easy, friendly, they were very caring.

The doctor was superb as was the nurse, just the two of them in the room. They offered to let me see the cervix on the video screen. I declined that, I felt that was more than I needed to see at that stage. I did say I might look afterwards but didn't need to see the procedure taking place. I was told that it wouldn't be painful, just uncomfortable perhaps. When the biopsy was taken I believe there was some dye used at one stage and when the biopsy was taken it would be like a little pressure or prick but in fact I didn't feel a thing. 

It was all very civilised for an undignified condition. And the good thing was I was assured by the doctor at that stage that she didn't feel there was a problem there at all. She said it looked all very healthy and it really wasn't, she said she would be very, very, very surprised had there proved to be a problem in the long term. So I came out of there feeling very positive and, well pleased with the result I suppose.

Again it was an, you went into hospital even though it wasn't under a general anaesthetic in a treatment room type area. I think in some respects also the fact that I was quite concerned about it being possibly painful is the fact that when you have a general anaesthetic you don't know what happens to you. 

So with a colposcopy it's a bit like a smear but it takes longer. So you're there with your legs in the air sort of feeling very vulnerable, quite exposed and the doctor is sort of, rather than a smear it's over and done with in quite a relatively short period of time. The colposcopy they have to really make sure they can focus on the cervix so therefore you've got the speculum in which is quite uncomfortable and they may need to tweak it around a bit so you're sort of trying to relax as much as possible. And once they actually can see the cervix they paint something on it which shows up the abnormal areas, sort of like a vinegary type solution which does sting slightly. So, and you're just anticipating the next sort of thing, so it's quite nerve-wracking even though they try to reassure you. 

And then when they take the colposcopy it is, it is like taking a little nick out of the skin and again you're anticipating that and you read about it, so you know it's coming. Perhaps it's best not to know I don't know and that point it is, as with anything if you get a slight pinch it is quite ooh, ow. And then afterwards you bleed a little a bit.  Fortunately I didn't bleed a great deal, but you sort of then, sort of feel right bleeding for a bit, a while afterwards so a bit of discomfort. But I think it's how undignified the whole thing is really and you can't get away from it. You know there's no, you know you're sort of, you're under a general anaesthetic, you don't care whether your legs are akimbo and everybody is staring but when you're actually there it's sort of a little bit more embarrassing really.

I didn't approve of it but because the consultant, well I think you've got no choice. I was in there for about 45 minutes and then things the consultant said to me they was going to do turned out wrong. Because what he said to me was I didn't see what I had done and I had to get undressed behind the screen and then there was three consultants in the room and one nurse, me and my partner. He said he'd give me a little spray to numb the area which also was a lie because it turned out to be an injection which I'm not keen on but it was done anyway. It lasted about 20 minutes, he took a biopsy and told me to stay off my feet for a couple of days, come and get the result in 4 weeks which I was so traumatised by I didn't turn up for the results.

Yes the nurse did pretty much actually yeah she did she said "Right this is what I'm going to be doing now” and, that's when she said "because you can have a look," and I was going "No it's okay." She did, she did explain what she was doing now and that she was, that's right yeah because she said "Right I'm going to be colouring," they use some sort of dye so that the abnormal cells stand out, they must catch the colour so that you can actually see them. So that's what she said "I'm putting some dye on," she said "it may a sting a bit," which it didn't at all, which was quite a relief. I thought I don't ever remember stinging and it didn't, so that wasn't a problem.

She was going to take away the piece of skin, flesh, whatever you want to call it. So muscles all tensed back up again thinking this is it, I'm going to feel this, she's going to cut me and I'm going to feel it but she sprayed some mild anaesthetic on it and I didn't feel a thing. It was over and done with. She said "It is so minute," she said "I can hardly see it," because the nurse had the jar there ready for it to go into liquid and preservative or whatever. I didn't look, I couldn't bear to look but she said it is so minute and that was the end of it.

Afterwards I drove, I drove there, I had a car and I drove there and when that was over, even though it wasn't too bad when I got back to the car I was like in shock I think and I sort of burst into tears and I was sitting at the steering wheel going "I can't drive," and I was shaking. Only because I find it, it's quite invasive and it's quite a traumatic thing and because I'm so sort of prudish and squeamish and it's all sort of, it's quite an emotional thing even though nothing really horrible happens it's just suddenly it sort of hits you I think but I wasn't actually that bad the second time I think.