Interview 33

Age at interview: 62

Age at diagnosis: 61

Brief Outline:

Diagnosed with lung cancer in 2002, treated with chemotherapy, and radiotherapy

Background:

Manager of delicatessen shop (part-time), married, 2 children

Says that chemotherapy is so horrible that it makes him cry.

The chemo that I'm on now is one of the strongest ones that there are and it really knocks me over. I have it on a Monday or I go on a Monday and it takes me 'til about the Friday to recover from it. You just feel totally spaced out as if you've been sent to the moon but you're still on earth. It's a most horrible feeling and I just wouldn't wish the feeling on anybody, you know you just want to do things. 

You go and do them and you get to the point when you know you can't do it. And, you know, I have a damn good cry. I cry every day you know, and that helps. Don't you ever be afraid to cry even if you're a man. There's no shame of it. Well I don't think so anyway.

Not at all.

No. I mean sometimes I wake up in the night and the tears are streaming down my face and anybody'd say, 'What's the matter?'  

My wife came into the bedroom the other night and said, 'What's the matter?' I said 'I just want a cuddle.' And that's all I wanted and I was alright after that. But no, never be ashamed to cry as I say even if you're a man. I do in the morning. I wake up, the tears are streaming down my face. Don't know what I'm crying for but I'm having a damn good howl.