Covid-19 in the community

Everybody, in our family, everybody knew and the people whom we had met two to four days earlier. We asked them as well, that they should get tested. We said, “you’ve been identified as at risk from our (positive test)”. We didn’t want that somebody else should have a problem because of us, right? It’s not like it is something to hide, Tanvi [Researcher’s name]. So, we have this problem, and we cannot do anything about it, you know? So, what is the point of hiding it? If I have it, and I know these people were in contact with me. So then if I hide then those people. Something bad could happen to them, isn’t it? So, their health, before anything goes wrong. So, the better thing would be that everyone also gets tested. So, that if they are positive then they can get treated quickly.

We actually wrote an e-mail to everybody to let them know, you know, keep out kind of thing, we wrote an e-mail just, because we have so many old people, our neighbours, we just wanted, you know, to, black and white this is how it is and then you can choose another way around our house or, or whatever you want, yeah. No misunderstanding.

And, of course, then I felt terrible on the day of getting tested positive the following Friday. Of course, I was backtracking those people who I’d seen within the last two weeks. I thought, I could’ve got it wrong about contracting or getting infected at the football. It could’ve been days before that. So then, of course, I was in a rather tired state just trying to contact those people who I’d had close contact with in the previous two weeks. And hoping to goodness that I hadn’t infected any and luckily, I hadn’t, surprisingly.

But then the parents were very very supportive about it and you know it was not like it was my fault. But luckily, I would say that it was good in a way I did not have any other children because you know there are times where I have about five children in the house. So I do not even want to imagine telling each and every one you’ve got to isolate, you’ve got to isolate, but yeah it was…it [laughs]. But you do feel, I don’t know, I don’t know about other people… do you need to feel guilty about it because I don’t know? Sometimes it was like oh god it’s because of me she has to isolate kind of a thing. But then it’s not my… it’s not anybody’s fault really is it?

I also feel that it’s shocking that a government is trying to absolve responsibility for taking control of a pandemic and busy telling people that actually your behaviours are on you. If you want to do something, you should do something. If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. Beyond wearing a mask and washing your hands and social distancing which nobody understands what social distancing means. This is the concept that makes no sense to anyone. These were the three key messages that kept being pumped out but then there were things like, “well if you want to go somewhere, you can go somewhere but if you don’t want to go somewhere, don’t go somewhere." Just absolutely ridiculous and very dangerous and the whole ethos of that messaging is to blame people individually for a pandemic rather than taking responsibility for a well-messaged clearly defined public health strategy that is going to save lives. It’s just damning, and I feel that for those people who are sceptical of the medical profession anyway or who are scared quite frankly you know, they that’s very confusing and very damaging.

We have to follow the rules because we have to be seen to follow the rules, and we don’t actually have to sit down and decide how vulnerable we feel. When things relaxed in whenever it was, July or August it was actually quite traumatic for us, because we suddenly had to say to ourselves, okay, how far are we going to take this now? Because we don’t have to do all these things, but actually we’ve got really used to it, because we’ve had to do all kind of risk assessments and we’ve been on the front lines of, when we have had Covid cases and we’ve had to go speak to Public Health England and bodies we are we are all too aware of the risks, and actually, are we comfortable going to indoor gatherings? Do we feel like we shouldn’t be wearing masks? Are we comfortable having people in our home? Are we comfortable with all these things? And I think we probably have almost fluctuated perhaps between extremes of feeling that, just because the government wants the economy to open doesn’t mean, for us, it sort of from a religious perspective it’s always been about the threat to life. You know, why are we allowed to close our synagogues, denying people the most basic religious practices, because of threat to life. So just because the government decides it’s more important for the economy to reopen or schools to reopen, doesn’t mean that the threat to life has receded, in which case we would have a religious duty to take precautions.

I think that I was wrong, and I think that it was irresponsible and I do think that I paid the price for that, but I also at the same time, was very aware that on a macro level, that’s not just interpersonal responsibilities, I was very angry at the government because they were doing piss all. Like they were doing nothing ,and I remember at the beginning being like I’m so grateful that I’m not in Italy, like, Italy sounds really scary and it’s everywhere. And then in hindsight once we had then became and surpassed Italy, I thought oh wow, like Italy actually did a lockdown. And they actually like I’m fairly sure that they provided food for their citizens and, and I started looking, instead of being like scared looking at other countries like, what was it like Vietnam had like 10 cases or something ridiculous. Even China itself, was very, very like heavy on the lockdowns which obviously there’s you know, it’s more complex than that but in contrast, I felt very strongly and still do feel very strongly that our government was not doing one cent of what it should be doing, and that on a greater level they had a responsibility which they shirked, to protect the population.

I think it’s the stigma of saying you had a virus. You had the virus, people thought the virus was some kind of a germ, put it that way, you know. Or you were dirty and that’s why you got the virus, you know or people wouldn't want to know you, you know or they would keep away.

And yeah like what, did you tell your daughter, I’m thinking, was she worried about you?

No, no, no, I didn’t, no, I kept it from her [laughs]. No, ‘cos she’s a performer and I don’t want her to be thinking of other things and thinking, “oh when is dad-” because the news was, it was, it’s pure doom and gloom in March, April, May when you heard of the death counts and this and the numbers going up and so on. So, that, that was kept from her, no, I wouldn’t have shared that with her because that would have just sent her into scare mode, fright and it’s either fight or flight or what have you. So, no, I, I, didn’t want her to, to have that at the back or front of her mind, ‘cos it would detract from what she does in, in her profession. So, she was not told.

We didn’t speak with our family because my mother has high blood pressure, so I worried about her. So sometimes she’d call to us, “Oh how are you?” “Oh I’m alright thank you. I’m busy so sorry, I can’t speak with you.” “Okay no problem, next time.”

You know, don’t really want to tell people because like you know social pariah, that you’ve got symptoms, or you’ve got a positive test. Because also it was quite bound up in like moralisation for me, having to tell people like “Oh I had corona.” Because in my mind that inferred that I had been being irresponsible because I was at uni.

Even there is a tendency among the, particularly Asian community, if one who has got Covid, they did not want to expose it. They felt that like, the Covid is a kind of sin. Sorry?
 
Like a sin did you say?
 
Yeah, yeah. They think that, yes, it’s not a good thing. So if we have Covid, if people know, other family members, or other friends know, they think themselves that they are not good people. But yeah, it changed, because this, Covid has got widespread on the wider community, then they realise that it is not an offensive thing. So.

I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. Because I thought to myself, you know, if I don’t tell this person and I’m not going to have to tell them in the future and you know and keep going on about it. I don’t want it to be a ‘oh my god they’ve had Covid,’ you know I don’t, I just want it to be done, over and finished with. And I just want to not think about it and you know, what’s done is done and it’s done. I don’t want to keep reliving it if that makes sense.

No, I actually spoke with both my manager, I spoke with some of my colleagues, those that I felt that I needed them to know that I have it. I spoke with my local church, everybody that I had it, so I didn’t have that stigma of people looking at me in a certain way stigma and saying, ‘He’s got it we need to stay away from him’, or what have you, no. That stigma, I didn’t feel those things. But it’s out there, people tend to be more silent and private and internalise those things. I’m not one of those kind of persons. I, I think that speaking out about it was important for me anyway. It bring, it brought awareness. It also brought people closer to me that reached out to me that probably would not have done that before…

I might have mentioned it on Facebook, yeah, I did, I did because I thought there’s a lot of people who are not taking this seriously so I’m saying, “Look, you know, for all those who don’t believe Covid’s real, I can testify it’s very real.” And then a lot of people sent me message and a lot of people said, “If you need anything-” so as a community, you know, I think that’s probably what’s helped us get through it, you know, because we, we were in trouble, people looked out and helped others, you know.

Everyone was very nice about it because so many people who, with it, you know, everyone knows someone that’s had it I think and also if they know someone who’s had it, they know it’s not like a joke. We’ve suffered for it so and I think so everyone was very sympathetic.

Initially, I was hugely embarrassed. I didn’t want to tell people. I thought, it’s a dirty word and it’s not one to be bandied about. And then actually I changed my mind about it because the reception I had from those people that I did tell was, you know, one of full empathy, sympathy and understanding. I think maybe because of the way I got it or I felt I got it.

I don’t know why I felt guilty you know the fact that I was letting the wee girl’s mum know about it but she was being, she was being so understanding about it. She said don’t worry about it at all. I guess also due to the fact you know that the wee girl’s grand mum is a nurse so she understands, you know it can catch you from anywhere.

I’d been isolating for almost three, well I’d had the virus almost over three weeks, and , there was a, an event in, where I live and I wanted to watch a swim and I I knew my friend was going. I said “Oh, can I, shall I meet you there?” And she was like, “I don’t want to meet you”, she said, “you’re still coughing”. And I said, “But I, I’ve had it weeks now I’m allowed out.” No she just wouldn’t, she just wouldn’t. And that, I cried.

She messaged me, she said you know Sarita I am glad to know you are feeling better but rather than starting you know this next week we’ll wait a week more just to make sure and I said to her I don’t quite like the tone of the text because she said just to make sure the virus has left your house. and I said what does that mean? I mean how, it doesn’t make sense [laughs]. So I told her, I said look I am not going to take another test. I said because, I said I don’t know if you are aware or not but the virus can stay in my body for as long as 90 days without it being infectious after my 10 days infectious period is over so there is still a chance if I can take a PCR test my test will come back as positive even though I am no longer infectious.