Psychosis (young people)
Social life and relationships with psychosis
People we spoke to valued spending time with their peers. Meeting friends socially could be an enormous support. A few people were concerned about how others might see them, or worried about not being able to manage intrusive thoughts, voices and images when they were in public. Being in a relationship was also a source of support for some, while others felt it was something else to manage and could cause more problems.
Since he left university, Peter has found it hard to socialise and thinks his self-critical intrusive thoughts make it harder for him to trust others.
Since he left university, Peter has found it hard to socialise and thinks his self-critical intrusive thoughts make it harder for him to trust others.
Yeah. Yeah, because I’ve kind of got into a, a thought pattern now of, kind of because I’m not doing anything in particular, or anything big, or yeah, definitely affects me sort of like that. Because I have - not necessarily purposely, although maybe I have done, where I have sort of distanced myself from people and not - Because you don’t see people on a regular basis anyway, it’s kind of easier to sort of lose contact with people. And, yeah. [siren in the background] I’ve kind of not so much gotten to that point of giving up contacting people, but sort of just kind of like - you get that sort of 'why bother' type thing, and. Yeah, I definitely haven’t met up with people as much, or done social things for quite a few months really. For a while. With sort of the exceptions of graduating. But yeah, I definitely think it kind of affects relationships, as well.
Right.
I think it definitely affects your trust in people, and things like that as well. Yeah. I think it makes me sort of not do things, if you put sort of a simple term on it like that. It makes it a lot easier to say "I’ll just stay at home and do nothing, or just do this," if I can’t be bothered to do something.
It makes it a bit easier to say no to people and stuff, you know.
For young people, being socially active is important for mental wellbeing, and plays a role in developing and maintaining friendships, pursuing interests and hobbies outside study, and getting on in work. But psychosis can interfere with this and make it harder to make friends.
Andrew Z loves socialising but when he has periods of psychosis his “buzzing thoughts” means he can’t concentrate on his studies or on socialising. Being unwell at the start of college meant missed out on a critical time for making friends.
Andrew Z loves socialising but when he has periods of psychosis his “buzzing thoughts” means he can’t concentrate on his studies or on socialising. Being unwell at the start of college meant missed out on a critical time for making friends.
I think being out of it for a while can make it quite difficult to get back into it, if you get what I mean, yeah. And it's quite frustrating when you are like you've had a psychosis episode and you know that lots of people have got to know each other in new accommodation and stuff and you've been out of it. So you kind of and they can end up assuming maybe he has been out of it because he's not interested in getting to know us, if you get what I mean. Kind of feels like it's too late, you know, over several months, he's never talked to us and therefore he's kind of maybe he's not interested. Obviously, how do you communicate to people that I have just had a psychosis episode and I am interested and I am even if you did do that and can still be several months where you haven't, where they've all got to know each other and you haven't.
As I said, it's quite, it's quite frustrating knowing you've missed out on stuff. But it's also quite difficult because you need to get like an episode and also you can develop anxiety you haven't experienced before, because of that.Lucy has a large friendship group. Now she can’t work she has less money for socialising and doesn’t feel like going out. She prefers having a friend over to her house.
Lucy has a large friendship group. Now she can’t work she has less money for socialising and doesn’t feel like going out. She prefers having a friend over to her house.
And then some days it's just too much effort to kind of get up and have a shower and get out of the house, and get to places on time. So I'm finding that people have to kind of force me along. So there's a couple of friends that really feel quite strongly that it's good for me to get out of the house and be around people, so I'll kind of say "Oh no, I don't think I'll come." And they'll go, "Are you sure?" And then I'll say "Yeah, yeah - I'm sure I don't want to come." And then they'll turn up at my house anyway, and be like "Well, you're coming." [Laugh]. So "I'm here now, you've got to come."
Socialising could put people in positions that made them anxious or even create triggers for a psychotic experience. Hannah finds that scary images trigger her visions. This can affect her in many ways and restricts what she can do: for example she has never been to one of the big theme parks because some of their rides are based on horror imagery, and she didn’t go to a friends’ paint balling party because she worried that the masks might trigger a psychotic episode.
Recreational drugs and alcohol
A few people whose social life involved drugs or heavy drinking felt this may have contributed to their first experiences of psychosis. Luke, who was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder, said that he had a lot of energy to socialise when he started a new job in the city, but he was “always the last one out”, drinking more than others and he began to have delusions. Luke said, “There's so many control points in my life now, which sometimes I resent. I'm 21, and I've got to control how much I drink, can't just go out and have a session”. Fran and Green Lettuce had used recreational drugs socially leading up to the start of their psychotic experiences. Many of their friends still used drugs and drank to excess and it could be difficult to be around them.
Fran lives in an inner city flat where alcohol and drugs are everywhere. She wants to move to the countryside where she can get the peace and quiet she desperately needs.
Fran lives in an inner city flat where alcohol and drugs are everywhere. She wants to move to the countryside where she can get the peace and quiet she desperately needs.
So moving will be really good for you?
Yeah. And it’s, basically it’s still like [place name]. It’s quite near my mum’s house. Which is nice. I can get one bus into town, so it’s not too far out, but it’s basically in the countryside at the same time. And I’m just like, really love the idea of just walking around. And there’s some really beautiful walks round there.
So your mum and family will be nearby?
Yeah.
You’ll know, it’s not like you’re in the middle of nowhere?
Nowhere, yeah. So I’ll know my way back into town and everything. I just need peace and quiet. I need peace and quiet like seriously.
Will you still be able to get to work and all your other..?
Yeah. Not as easily, but one bus. So it’s alright.As Green Lettuce started getting better he went out with his friends to the pub. It was hard to begin with because his friends were smoking weed and he wasn’t but he got used to it.
As Green Lettuce started getting better he went out with his friends to the pub. It was hard to begin with because his friends were smoking weed and he wasn’t but he got used to it.
And what was it about your friends that helped?
Just talking to them again, but other things, like norm… like football or music or something, not weed. That’s all we used to talk about really I’m not just weed.
That sounds familiar [laughs]. So you were mainly going down the pub, just having a couple of games of pool. That kind of thing?
Yes.
Did you go out to concerts. Football?
Not really no.
And how did it feel, you know, inside your head at that time when you started to go out a bit more?
Oh I thought it was helping a lot, and I’d try and do it more often. I did. It did help a lot. Because I found that the more occupied my brain was, like the more I was talking to people, the more it helped. It was like blocking the voices out of my head. So that’s probably half of the reason it helped.
And did the voices die down when you were speaking and things like that?
When I was speaking, they were, not as apparent, because my attention was more on the conversation that I was having at the time. Rather than what was actually going on in my head. Yeah.
So they were sort of in the background?
Yes.
A few people we spoke to had been in or were in a relationship, but others were not or didn’t want the added pressure. Being in a relationship could be a source of support. But people recognised that their experiences of psychosis added an extra layer of challenges. Luke, who recently broke from a 4 year relationship which was very up and down, worries about telling future girlfriends about his experiences of bipolar disorder.
Sam’s current boyfriend talks to her about her psychotic experiences “like it’s a normal thing”. He looks past the mental health experiences and sees “the person” in her.
Sam’s current boyfriend talks to her about her psychotic experiences “like it’s a normal thing”. He looks past the mental health experiences and sees “the person” in her.
Doesn't end well. But so it's just, it was a bit sort of difficult sort of saying to him, you know, this is sort of what's wrong with me [laughs]. You know, I don't, 'cause I didn't want him to sort of like—'cause we got on so well like in the first time we met and stuff, 'cause he lives sort of two hours away from here. So, it's sort of, the first time we met and that at the train station and that in [the local area]. I didn't really wanna like say it straight away, because like I didn't wanna ruin anything. But he sort of like found it out anyway, because like when we was like on our own and that and here and stuff and I started like freaking out and he like didn't sort of, he knew it wasn't anxiety, basically. He basically said to me, ''I know what's wrong with you.'' Without me even saying anything, which I thought was you know, he used his head, basically. But yeah, so but I think not everybody is like that, which is what I've sort of realised like the past people that I've been with and stuff like the person like I said before like they just didn't wanna know and didn't wanna talk about it with me. Didn't wanna talk to me when I was like that for a few days and basically said I was like faking it. Which, you know, but I'm sort of glad that I sort of found someone who looks sort of past that, but still helps me, you know.Luke broke up from a 4 year relationship just before he was feeling suicidal. He describes how his ex-girlfriend “rode the waves” of his bipolar disorder with him but feels relieved now that he doesn’t have to worry about anyone else.
Luke broke up from a 4 year relationship just before he was feeling suicidal. He describes how his ex-girlfriend “rode the waves” of his bipolar disorder with him but feels relieved now that he doesn’t have to worry about anyone else.
The, the first episode of psychosis, I remember - it was very difficult for her, she was at university at the time. And, yeah. She'd, she'd do her best to come visit me in hospital. And geographically that was tough, because she was at uni.
But generally just the waves that, that I'm surfing on - I feel that in that relationship I sort of - my ex-girlfriend was on the, on the surfboard with me, riding those waves. And I think that's - that makes for a very difficult relationship, when you know, you might, you might think to yourself, you know, 'is this guy worth it?' Is it, you know? On, you know - but also at the same time, I think [clears throat] if you're in a relationship with, with someone with bipolar or with psychosis, you - you're going to see a fantastic side of them, sometimes. When they're on a high. You know, you're going to get the whole package. But then at the same time you're on a low. You, you can, you could say, you could say, "Oh, I love you." And I'd turn round and go, "I'm not in love with you." Or, I wouldn't - I wouldn't be able to show emotion when I'm, when I'm depressed.
So I think it's very difficult. And the position I'm in now is, I've been single for - you know - five months. It’s been a little while. And I like to think of myself as happy being single. Because I've not got anyone that I've got to worry about.
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