Interview 04
Age at interview: 46
Brief Outline: Had bowel complications and septicaemia. Was in intensive care for nearly 5 weeks. Spent 1 week in a High Dependency Unit and was then discharged.
Background: Occupation: patient and partner are civil servants. Marital status: living together. Number of children: 3. Ethnic background: White British.
More about me...
She now appreciates what's important to her in life and wants to enjoy it more.
She now appreciates what's important to her in life and wants to enjoy it more.
SHOW TEXT VERSION
PRINT TRANSCRIPT
Partner' We haven't changed things dramatically, we haven't taken up bungee jumping or anything like that.
Patient' No
Partner' But whereas we would weigh things up, should we or shouldn't, where may be in the past we'd have said oh well we can't really afford that, now we'll say oh blow it, we'll go for that and go sort of the other way a little bit. And I'm making an effort not to be wound up by small things like if the girls haven't made their beds you know so what, try and not let little things bother me any more and enjoy things and enjoy life a bit more and appreciate what we've got while we've got it.
His fears were unfounded and he was reassured to find that all the nurses in ICU were excellent.
His fears were unfounded and he was reassured to find that all the nurses in ICU were excellent.
SHOW TEXT VERSION
PRINT TRANSCRIPT
Seeing the same technician on her second visit made her more relaxed about the tests.
Seeing the same technician on her second visit made her more relaxed about the tests.
SHOW TEXT VERSION
PRINT TRANSCRIPT
Patient' Basically I meet with my consultant, talk through all the treatments that I had, he asks me how I feel emotionally and they send me for breathing tests. And that was funny because at the three-month stage the breathing tests were awful, they were really quite traumatic because I developed claustrophobia and it is, they put a plug on your nose and they put like a thing in your mouth. So you're collecting a lot of saliva, you can't breath through your nose and thankfully again the guy who was doing the breathing exercises was really understanding and he was letting me take my time because at one point, and I'm not, I'm usually dead obedient, even if I'm in pain or something. Before I went in intensive care I put up with pain but because I was getting claustrophobic I took it out my mouth and said "Look I'm really getting claustrophobic here," and he said to me "That's perfectly normal, we'll take a break."
And then when I went at the six month stage it was the same bloke which was great because he remembered me and he said "You know you're doing much better in terms of you're not, nowhere near as nervous," and we were having a bit of a laugh and a joke.
She felt agitated, confused and thought she was on a plane (she had sepsis).
She felt agitated, confused and thought she was on a plane (she had sepsis).
SHOW TEXT VERSION
PRINT TRANSCRIPT
And also I could hear, I thought it was a plane, it was like a whoosh, whoosh, whoosh sound and apparently that was the ventilator. And it just, it was so great when I woke up and it wasn't right away but I started to say well this is what I felt, did that happen? And they were saying the whoosh, whoosh, whoosh sound, that could've been your ventilator.
He stayed at the hospital day and night when his partner was first ill, and felt frightened.
He stayed at the hospital day and night when his partner was first ill, and felt frightened.
SHOW TEXT VERSION
PRINT TRANSCRIPT
For how long?
Well it was three weeks, till she woke up. So I was there every day apart from an hour every day in the morning, I was there 24 hours a day. Slept in a room upstairs in the hospital when it was available. When it wasn't available I slept at the bedside in the chair.
I was trying to be strong but there was times when I just I remember one day being with my mum and I was telling her I just felt so frightened, I was really frightened. I just didn't think she was going to pull through. I just felt I couldn't see it while I was there what I was going to do. But on the whole I think when she was ill I was just sort of quiet and kept to myself, the others were chatting and that but I just, I couldn't small talk. I couldn't indulge sort of thing when she was really ill. It was just, I was just losing myself in my thoughts sort of thing and waiting and hoping.
At the time she worried about having her tracheostomy removed, but now the scar reminds her of...
At the time she worried about having her tracheostomy removed, but now the scar reminds her of...
SHOW TEXT VERSION
PRINT TRANSCRIPT
Partner' No.
When did you have the tracheostomy, can you remember when they took it out?
Patient' They took it out, that was only, it was about a week before I came out of hospital wasn't it?
Partner' They took it out just before you went down to HDU?
Patient' No, no it was the day, it was the day after I went to HDU so it was literally about four days before I came out of hospital and that was terrifying, literally terrifying because we talked about it didn't we and the night before they said they were doing it [partner's name] said to me "Please don't be worrying." He said "What's the matter do you think you're going to be gasping for breath?" And I said "I do."
She asked some of her family not to visit so she could have the energy to do her physiotherapy.
She asked some of her family not to visit so she could have the energy to do her physiotherapy.
SHOW TEXT VERSION
PRINT TRANSCRIPT
Using bedpans was humiliating but this motivated her to recover and become independent again.
Using bedpans was humiliating but this motivated her to recover and become independent again.
SHOW TEXT VERSION
PRINT TRANSCRIPT
Partner' That was partly because you hadn't realised how ill you'd been as well. Your first thing was waking up in the bed, people having to help you go to the loo which, why is this happening? You didn't have any idea of how, what we'd been stood there for four weeks waiting for you to wake up.
She was discharged because she could walk and her partner could look after her at home.
She was discharged because she could walk and her partner could look after her at home.
SHOW TEXT VERSION
PRINT TRANSCRIPT
Patient' It was about four, no it was about four or five weeks and then I went to HDU just for a week and then I was discharged from there which I thought, I was a hell of a success story [laughs] because there were concerns, particularly because my mobility still wasn't very good and you know for health and safety reasons the nurses were taking me to the loo and waiting outside and I couldn't
In a wheelchair?
Patient' No I was walking but that was their aim because they thought I was going onto a ward and they were saying your experience on a ward would be, because it was one to one nursing and then it was, I had a nurse, you know a nurse between two of us and they said you know we need to get you up and moving so you can go to the loo unaided and stuff like that. But because of the risk of infection and the fact we had, [my partner] was going to stay at home and we had a downstairs loo, I got discharged quite quickly really.
Partner' Because she'd done everything else sort in of within a week, initially she couldn't lift her glass or a plastic glass, within two days of being in HDU she'd moved onto a China cup and we was, which seems silly little things. But for us they were, you know she was in tears and I was when she was told me "I'm onto a China cup, lifting that and then you know obviously feeding herself and she'd made ten yards across the ward with a Zimmer, ten yards by herself and then to the loo and back. All within a week she said, like she worked so hard, she was having extra physio sessions, she got it back. I mean I came rushing in to see her, she'd say "No the physio is here, you'll have to go and wait for another hour," so I'd go out and wait because that's what she wanted and she was determined to use all the time she could to get out as quickly as she could. So by the time she came home it was just a strength issue really wasn't it?
He didn't know how much to tell his partner in case it worried her and hindered her recovery.
He didn't know how much to tell his partner in case it worried her and hindered her recovery.
SHOW TEXT VERSION
PRINT TRANSCRIPT
Patient' But she did that because I was, she felt, and you know you can only go with what the healthcare professionals tell you, she felt I was pushing myself too hard because you know I literally, I can imagine I was a bit of a pain really because things like they were saying we're going to sit you out which must be a medical term but it means sitting me in a chair, but they said I could go outside and my impatience to go outside. You know it was probably only a couple of hours but I was harassing this poor nurse.
She felt worried about catching an infection that might take her into hospital again.
She felt worried about catching an infection that might take her into hospital again.
SHOW TEXT VERSION
PRINT TRANSCRIPT
Partner' You were worried, she was worried about anything, you know any germs in the air or catching any, like I say, hairs off the cat. You know she wanted to make sure everything was, well nothing was...
Patient' I think it was because once I woke up in intensive care and realised the seriousness of it and the doctors and nurses on intensive care were really vigilant about washing their hands, you know all the sort of clinical procedures you know. When I came home and they said my immune system was low, I was really panicky.
She often felt angry and frustrated because she wanted to make the most of life but, physically,...
She often felt angry and frustrated because she wanted to make the most of life but, physically,...
SHOW TEXT VERSION
PRINT TRANSCRIPT
And my daughter commented she said, and even this was only a couple of days ago so it's seven months on, she said "You seem to be really angry, there's like this residual anger about something and what is it?" And I really don't know. And it's not all the time but I do get quite angry.
She felt reassured when she discussed her feelings with a nurse and learnt that how she felt was...
She felt reassured when she discussed her feelings with a nurse and learnt that how she felt was...
SHOW TEXT VERSION
PRINT TRANSCRIPT
And I needed to speak to, I went back and spoke to the nurse consultant on ICU and she explained, and I only saw her the once but she explained it's perfectly normal. And that helped, once she said to me, "Loads of people feel like that when they come out of intensive care and you need to be kind and give yourself a bit of time, it will pass." I mean I still have my days but it's not like it was you know sort of three months ago where I literally was turning everything that was positive into a negative. But I wasn't telling anybody, I was sort of, well I was telling you [partner] wasn't I but when I went back to intensive care I talked about it to [the nurse], it sort of made me realise it was normal.