Laurel

Age at interview: 17

Age at diagnosis: 15

Brief Outline:

(Text only clips) Laurel has had alopecia areata for 2 and a half years. Alopecia impacted on her confidence as she feels less pretty. Laurel recently shaved her head to fundraise for alopecia. This received local publicity which has taken the pressure off her to hide her hair loss.

Background:

Laurel is 17 years old and a school student. Her ethnic background is White Scottish.

More about me...

Laurel has had alopecia areata for 2 and a half years. She also has eczema and has had acne for about 5 years. Laurel’s alopecia mainly affects her scalp, although she says that her eyelashes are thinner and she has pitting on her nails. Laurel noticed her first patch of alopecia during the summer holidays when she was 15. Within a matter of weeks, the whole of the right side of her head hair had fallen out. Laurel used clip-in extensions to cover the bald areas but this would tug and make her scalp very sore. Her hair regrew but then began to fall out again. She started wearing her hair up high when a bald patch developed on the crown of her scalp, before moving on to headscarves/bandanas. Laurel’s hair then regrew over 6 months; however, because stress is a major trigger for Laurel’s alopecia, her hair rapidly fell out again during a particularly difficult time with friendships and school.

Laurel remembers being told at the first dermatology appointment that there was no cure for alopecia and that no-one knew exactly why it occurred. She says that this was scary and very hard for a 15 year old to take in. She uses a steroid cream which her mum helps apply to her scalp at night. Laurel found that it would make her remaining hair very greasy, although it’s easier to use since she shaved her hair quite recently. She adds that she has not yet been prescribed a treatment for acne that works in the long term either.

Before developing alopecia, Laurel used to enjoy dyeing her hair. She was worried that people would blame this for her hair loss and she was relieved when the dermatologist said this wasn’t the cause. Laurel continued dyeing her hair whilst it was falling out so that she could still “feel like me”. It was difficult having little choice with hair styles whilst trying to cover the bald patches. She felt less pretty and didn’t want to go out as much. Laurel says that make-up, ear piercings and wearing a wig all helped her to feel pretty again. She currently has two synthetic hair wigs similar to her natural hair colour. She doesn’t like the lace fronted one though because she thinks it looks “fake”. Laurel doesn’t wash her wig often because it takes 24 hours to dry and she doesn’t like to go a day without wearing it. Laurel feels comfortable taking off her wig when with her family, boyfriend and friends. She had shied away from telling her boyfriend about her alopecia but found it was “a really big weight off your shoulders” when she did.

There have been times when alopecia has got Laurel really down, though she says she copes better now that she’s older. Laurel recently shaved her head to fundraise for an alopecia charity. This received a lot of publicity in the local media which Laurel is very pleased about. She says it helped raise awareness about alopecia generally and it has made things better for her now that people know. She found that many people were unaware about her alopecia previously because she had hid it so well. Laurel feels that the pressure has been taken off her to hide her hair loss. She says that “now that they all know, it’s not that big a deal.” 

Laurel thinks that other young people with alopecia shouldn’t hide it. Her own experience has been of receiving a great deal of supportive following the fundraising publicity and she feels much better about it now. Laurel thinks it’s important for people to understand what the condition is and to know that saying “it’s just hair loss” doesn’t acknowledge the fact that alopecia can have a massive impact on confidence.

Laurel says there are different types of regrowth hairs.

Well you get three different kinds of hair. There’s the exclamation hairs, there’s the white hairs and then there’s the good hair that you want to grow in. The white hair is not actually too bad either because you can have a few hair growing in white. I know it’s a bit weird but it’s still grown in. But exclamation hairs grow like the shape of an exclamation mark. They grow out thick but the roots are really thin so they just fall out. So if you think you’re like getting all happy because you’ve got hair growing in, it just falls out again. But then you get sometimes it just grows in completely and you don’t have to worry about it again. Cos I remember that, that happened to me to start with like it all grew back in. They said, “Oh it’s never going to come back.” But it did and I think that’s the scare for, for like it’s going to be a scary thing for like the rest of your life cos you don’t know if you get stressed it’s gonna grow back in then fall back out. But yeah, you either want white-, I’d quite like to have white like- some of my head’s actually all fluffy like white hairs and you can see it in the light. You can’t see it on this obviously but in the light it shines on it and it’s white fluffy hairs which is really good because you want that. You want your hair to be grown back. But it’s quite a weird condition actually with the way it grows in and the way it falls out and why it falls out.

Laurel found it difficult hearing some of the things her doctors said about alopecia.

Can you remember the first appointment that you had and sort of what that was like?

Yeah. It was, I think it was, it was really hard because it was the first time I’d really been told I had alopecia and that there was no cure and that they didn’t know why it was-. Well they told me it was stress that was causing it and that it can be like stress from up to six months before it happens and stuff. And that was really hard to understand cos I was only 15 and my hair was like my favourite part cos I used to dye it all the time and, and everybody. And I was kinda scared for everybody to say, “Oh, it’s because you dyed it all the time,” but it wasn’t cos even the dermatologist said that it doesn’t cause it. But then I just got really scared when he told me there was no cure. And that’s all really that kinda went through my head. He was more talking to my mum than me.

Laurel liked that her ear piercings were more visible and she got more done.

I liked getting piercing in my ears as well because you can see my ears now that my-, you had no hair. So it was one of those things that everybody noticed, and they didn’t really notice that my hair was up all the time unless they knew.

Before my hair all fell out like I had quite a lot.  And then I got my tragus and the outside of my ear done because it was just really pretty and I actually bought loads of new earrings as well because you’d see my ears more. So as to say that if your ears are prettier then, I don’t know, just kind of distracts the attention away.

Laurel thinks alopecia is the reason why hers nails became dented and stopped growing.

You won’t be able to see this on the camera but it makes funny dimples in your nails. Have you ever had your nails done by a, like acrylic nails? 

No.

Cos that would have been a good example of explaining it but it makes it look like you’ve got-. My nails get eaten out. I’m trying just to describe it. It’s quite hard to describe. The nail bed kinda just eats away at them. And then you can pick it and it gets sore. Then like I don’t have-. Oh I think my pinky nail was only on like half because it used to just kind of fall off cos I pick-. Actually I shouldn’t have picked it but I picked it quite a lot and it was really quite scabby and they’re pink but now they’re all really dimply and really thin and they don’t grow.

Having different coloured hair was Laurel’s ‘favourite thing’. When she had to cover her hair with hairbands due to hair loss, she didn’t feel pretty any more.

Well basically my hair used to be my favourite thing ever. I’ve had every single colour of hair. I’ve had green. I’ve had pink. I’ve had blue. And it was my favourite thing I’d do is dye my hair because everybody knows me as having mental hair. That’s one of the things that everybody says to me is like, “What colour have you not had?” And it was really hard cos at the time I had pink hair and I was like I don’t want this to fall out because this is really cool. And it just-, it fell out but I still continued to dye it cos I still wanted to feel like me. And then when I had to be with the hairbands and have my hair up all the time you just, I just didn’t want to go out cos you don’t feel as pretty when your hair is always up. It’s one of those things that it kind of makes your face look different and it’s-. You can do different things with it. But when I got my wigs and stuff, it did make you feel a lot better cos it made you feel really like-, you look pretty again.

Laurel used hair extensions initially, which she clipped onto her hair. As she lost more hair she turned to wearing wigs.

Well I’ve had two sets of hair extensions. The first ones were from [shop name removed]. I don’t know if that’s, that’s Scottish or whatever but they were-, they’re just, they were real hair ones and they were brown so they just clipped into my hair. Cos I had this side of my hair [left side] but not that side [right side]. I just clipped over it and it was ok. And then they started-. And I got another set and then they covered it really well as well but then it started to get really bad and I had no where to actually clip the extensions on because right at the back I had to clip it like here and then all the hair was gone away and I couldn’t have anything to clip it to. So I had to wear my hair in a bobble like right up high so it was covering the back but I had to wear a hairband but it looked really weird, it was like a bandana thing, it kinda covered my full head except for this bit here. 

I didn’t want to leave the house at all. Like see when I was wearing my headbands and stuff like I actually sometimes considered just quitting my job. I was like I just didn’t want to go through this anymore because everybody-, everybody in [health and beauty store name] is so pretty. It sounds so stupid but it seems like everybody, like they all have hair and they’re all like-, they just kind of look nice. I don’t know. And I just didn’t wanna go. My. I used, I wore my hairbands for ages and I tried 3 months and then it was my mum’s birthday and I tried my hardest to wear my extensions because I wanted to have my hair down. And I did but it didn’t last very long because it was- I only had like a couple of hairs to stick the extensions in and it was really sore. And then after that I was wearing the hairbands for ages as well and I didn’t go out. Like my friends would invite me out and I was just like, “Nah I don’t really want to.” And I, I did stop going to school for a wee while as well. Yeah. But it’s ok now like it’s all like. We never, there was never very many parties that during that time. And I’d like, I didn’t like going out at all.

But it’s fine now cos I’ve got here and that makes. It, I actually, you, it’s. You have no idea how much a wig can help. It just brings back all your confidence and it makes you want, you want to go out. 

Laurel talks about the ways her family show her support.

My dad as I say he shaved his head. He visually supported it and it has-. It’s really affected mum and dad. And it sounds really weird but I think they were really upset about it. And I know that they all they just wanted to take it away. They always tell me that if they could. Like mum, “I’d rather be bald than you be bald.” I think my sister feels a bit left out [laughs]. That sounds really weird but she’s got really long, long, long hair and everybody kind of focused on me and like how upset and stuff it got me and nobody was really giving her attention. But she shaved part of her head as well and that was really good too. She’s really supportive. Everybody’s really supportive. Yeah, I can’t-, I can’t fault anybody actually. They’re all great but now that it’s kind of out there, they just come up and like slap my head and stuff [laugh].

Oh

Just can’t help it [laugh]. And my wee, my wee cousin who didn’t understand it but what was cute the other day was we were all lying on the couch and they were just sitting, stroking my head, like stroking my hair. 

Awr [laughs]

And she’s only, she’s only four so she was, she was feeling it and even like they get it. Sometimes they tell me to put my hair back on and I’ve got crazy hair and stuff but it’s all fine now. Like I can take it as a joke and that everybody’s supportive and that’s basically all I want to say. They’re just really supportive. 

Although it took her a long time to tell him, Laurel’s boyfriend is really supportive and she feels it has strengthened the relationship.

We’ve been going out for nearly three years and to start with like it wasn’t there and I just had my normal hair. And I think it was, well it was-. We started going out at the start of the year and it came, started in the summer and it took me a long time to tell him, like ages. I remember one time-, I don’t remember what I was doing but I think he kinda seen it and then that was the day that I told him. He was, “Oh I can’t-, I seen it.” But he, he’s supportive, it’s, it’s really weird because you don’t expect like a boy of this age to want to have a bald girlfriend [laugh]. But he’s fine about it. And he actually tells me to take it off when I’m around him now, like my hair. To start with-, actually he’s been like, he’s been perfectly fine all the way through. He kisses my head and stuff now as well. Cos I, I used to just kinda hide it but I don’t anymore and even when I had my hair and it was all the bald bits, it was fine. At the end of the day, he still came up and like kissed it and it was nice cos he’s supportive and he doesn’t mind. It doesn’t bother him. So it’s, we just. I think it’s made it stronger. It’s not, it’s not hindered it.

Laurel’s school has on the whole been very good about her wearing headbands and headscarves, but on one occasion a teacher commented that her headband did not fit with the school uniform rules.

I’m in the last year at school.

Ok.

And well actually there was this really big thing that when I was wearing my headbands, we were all having the vote for the first Head Girl. And my school is really strict and quite pathetic on their school uniform actually. And one teacher actually made a comment, “I don’t think she should be Head Girl because of that headband. What’s that fashion statement all about?” And this, this was so bad like-, this really upset me, and my mum and dad were so angry about it like they actually wanted to go down to the school because a headband shouldn’t hinder anything. And there was the, like the teacher that’s kinda head of pupil support and she sent an e-mail around and I think they kinda retracted the comment and felt really bad but I just thought that that’s not a kind of comment that you make as a teacher.

It’s not-, it’s not a fashion statement. I don’t think I’d be wearing that as a like a fashion statement if I had the choice. Yeah. But apart from that, like the school’s been really good. Everybody at school knows now and they’re all, they’re all fine about it. And like the teachers were good about not letting me, not having to take part in PE because I’d have to get changed and then it would come off and-. It was big because that was before everybody knew and they were all really fine, like supportive about that. And then when I was wearing my headscarves and stuff like after this e-mail went around and this comment and stuff, that-, it was ok. Everybody was understanding and quite a lot of people came up to me like, “I had no idea, Laurel,” well, I never told anybody so of course they never had any idea. But it’s ok now like nobody mentions it anymore cos it’s kind of over and done with. Still the odd people that kinda ask me questions but I’m ok with that as I’d rather…